| #1 Zed[34307] |
| wmblab-Rye.neuro.emory.edu |
| The map's Landslide - it's not easy to spot if you scroll back, but you might remember it. It's an interesting map. |
| #2 Sp|nE[34310] |
| dialup0334-pri.voicenet.com |
| i have problems |
| #3 Sid6.9[34327] |
| 1Cust224.tnt11.tacoma.wa.da.uu.net |
Dude that was cool. I was intrigued with the whole "Diary" concept. Heh heh and the parts with the child asking his Grampa about what the Marine was saying was Priceless.
Marine Rifle- 500 credits
Marine Suit- 3000 credits
Seige Tank- 15000 credits
A boy and his Grampa listening about Death and Destruction--Priceless! |
| #4 tokenresistance[34336] |
| iridium-asy-8.rutgers.edu |
| me like. I would have given it an "8" for creativity and ... just because I liked it. Made terran seem "human". "4" is grossly unfair, must have been for the "text wrapping" problem. good effort. |
| #5 Sid6.9[34337] |
| 1Cust224.tnt11.tacoma.wa.da.uu.net |
| Zed did you upset any of the raters in the past? A 4, for this is uncalled for. Maybe the person rating it is having a bad day, I don't know. I know the text wasn't lined up, and the colors a little bland, but man was that a creative BR. I don't recall seeing one of that type, being a marine talking about an ACTUAL battle. I've seen ones that are fictional, but it made it more interesting that is was an actual battle. Though it could be fiction, but then again, just about every battle report here could be fiction. Not saying any are, cause I'm sure most are, but still, a 4? That had to hard to write that report, not to mention taking a long time to do. Hopefully the rater will change his mind and rate it higher, cause I've seen reports that received 5's that aren't even close to the creativity Zed put into this one. |
| #6 Syndrome Zed[34340] |
| 209.86.147.246 |
| I don't know why - token must be right. You know, I previewed the thing and there was no weird text wrapping. Then hit submit and there still wasn't any. I guess I'll have to break down and use style sheets instead of regular font tags. Oh well. Thanks for the compliments, and sorry about the problem spine ;). It would have been nice to see who rated it 4 and why though. Constructive criticism never hurts... |
| #7 dislekcia[34394] |
| netcache2.is.co.za |
You've been so robbed, Zed :(
This deserves at least a 7... Your idea is great, and the writing style stays mostly true to your content, only jarring once or twice.
All in all I enjoyed this immensely, put a real world perspective on the game, especially the "becoming settlers" part. Makes sense. I only realised it was a 2on2 until halfway through the report... GREAT STUFF!
So, like, erm... Keep it coming. Please ;)
-dis |
| #8 Warphead[34402] |
| johnny.bath.ac.uk |
| The text wrapping and the color make this quite tough to read -- although I do find 4 more than a little harsh. |
#9  [34423] |
| HNW0511.RESNET-STUDENT.UPENN.EDU |
argk!
try better font and background color. This is fairly uncomfortable to read.
Interesting format of your BR tho. I have had that idea long ago but was never able to implement. Good job there. |
| #10 <font color=yellow> |]agomar[34439] |
| gateway.ncdsb.com |
Hmmmm this is a really great idea, but . . .
I would have used more of the fear/awe emotions. I would have described the defiler, say, with its huge gaping fangs and crimson eyes, or the towering psionic zealot and stuff like that . . . .
I would also have used awe at the gaurdians and shown the guy hiding in a cave as his base was being attacked by screaming waves of mutas soaring down from the dark, turbulent sky at lightning-fast speeds, then vanishing into the blackness as they zipped back up and away.
But, great job! Hope to see more of these! Liked the way you described the big ol' tank and the mutilated medic exchange, and how the wraiths had a field day. This deserves a 7! |
| #11 Syndrome Zed[34444] |
| wmblab-Rye.neuro.emory.edu |
Thanks everyone.
Prozerran - This is the hazard of going cross-platform. On my Imac at work (where I typed it up and everything between busy spells :) ) it looked really nice. The colors didn't clash and there's no word wrap problem. Even the font looked cleaner. Then I got home and looked at it on my PC and yeesh! You're right about the colors clashing and the font/wrap being way screwed up. Maybe I'll resubmit a cleaned up version since everyone so far seems to like the content :).
Dag - I thought about that at first, too, using more descriptive stuff and fear/awe. But given the perspective, that of a diary being written in the field between missions, I thought to myself, "What would I have said?". That's how it came out. Less descriptive, since you'll remember what you saw and even how it felt. And since the Zerg never teched to defilers or even put together a horde of mutas at one time (he was trying to put pressure on me constantly but probably would have done better to mass an attack), I couldn't really use those in the diary. True, there would have been more emotion involved if I'd talked about the waves of mutas attacking and him cowering, but that would have broken from the idea of the diary. After all, the only things he might be saying in his diary during something like that would be "Oh shit oh shit ohshitohshit". And you wouldn't be thinking about the diary at that point, only after if you lived. I thought the "I don't want to die" pretty much summed it up.
One of the things they teach conscripts is the ability to "dehumanize" the enemy - you make them seem less fearsome in the case of a powerful foe, or less sympathetic in the case of a less powerful one. One of the best ways to do this is to give them a nickname and make fun of them. Thus, the "Brainies" and the "Bugs". Just like calling a VietCong a gook. You make their existence seem less important and it makes them easier to shoot. And this guy was your classic, well-indoctrinated Kid Just Off the Turnip Truck Given a Gun and Told Who To Shoot :).
I do appreciate your feedback though, because your suggestions match my usual style of reporting by using a story (when I make reports like that), and they'll be useful in the future! Thanks! |
| #12 Drefsab[34494] |
| rc55.Rmax1.globalsite.net |
I know this has gotten aways down the page, but I still want to rate this. I missed it because someone else gave it a 4 and I only have time to read so many reports so I skipped it. I heard about it from Warphead's post on the forum so I came back and read it.
I would just like to say that I was very sorry that I missed it. This was a very good report from a unique perspective and even though the colors clash a bit, it <b>is</b> text only so the graphics weren't as important to me.
Great read Zed,
7
Dref |
| #13 xero[34560] |
| 1Cust101.tnt19.hou3.da.uu.net |
very nice report, much better than that 'nobody' - muhahaha
omg that was so cool to read though :-)
u better make more of these :-)
like .... RIGHT NOW !!!
xero out |
| #14 <font color=yellow> |]agomar[34573] |
| gateway.ncdsb.com |
| Zed, I agree with you on some points, but doesn't this punk kid ( =] ) write the diary, say, at the end of the day? He could describe how afraid he was when he say the devourers ( "and you shoulda seen those fangs" ) or how immense the gaurdians were ( "My God . . . they filled the whole sky, and they kinda crawled their way forward somehow, like some kind of evil crab!" ). Maybe you coulda wrote something like "We were forced off the cliff . . . there are more and more of the bugs swarming over everything . . . . that goo the guys call the creep is infesting more and more ground . . . I don't know how long we'll last. If we never meet again, honey, good bye, and I love you . . . ." |
| #15 Syndrome Zed[34606] |
| wmb6217-daley.neuro.emory.edu |
Heck, you should write something like this too Dag. Those sound pretty good!
In my case, I was never worried about losing completely, just felt it was a minor setback. So Mr. Marine reflected my attitudes.
There would have been more fear if the game had been going worse for me. |
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