| #1 Inadequate[40511] |
| clt-pxy04.firstunion.com |
1st
stories looking good |
| #2 Inadequate[40512] |
| clt-pxy02.firstunion.com |
| grrr |
| #3 WilliamWC3[40513] |
| huru27.wuh.wustl.edu |
| Damn that was quick. The html looks great on my comp this time. NICE. |
| #4 [{o}][40518] |
| dialup-63.210.221.155.NewYork1.Level3.net |
| Ho hum. I have a fanfic comin out. This one will be betta than mine for sure.. |
| #5 shockwave[40519] |
| exchange1.sensable.com |
Hey PS,
I debated for quite a long time as to whether to put the "lag" comment in :-). It was more just for humor and wasn't intended to make any sense at all. I figured that people would get a kick out of it at the expense of it detracting from other aspects of the story (such as the very serious nature of the scene surrounding the comment). |
#6  [40521] |
| 1Cust175.tnt1.rdu1.da.uu.net |
| I'll expect the next one in another 4 hours. |
| #7 Baxter-O'Bixby[40528] |
| s277-7.CS.Berkeley.EDU |
| Maybe the lag was caused by the interaction of primitive algorithms with advanced computers never designed to run such awkwardly-written software... not dissing Blizzard, but I bet programming itself will advance at least as fast as hardware design. ;-) |
| #8 FuRyEDge[40533] |
| kite.ics.uci.edu |
| So the decisions of one erratic individual controls the destinies of Terran troops? Pretty trippy. WHERE'S CHAPTER 3???? |
| #9 anal-banana[40562] |
| gauntlet2.bridge.com |
This is very well written, Shock. Good job!
The yellow and gray fonts are hard to read on the dark blue background, however. I had to highlight your entire report so that I could read it without paining my eyes. I'd suggest a higher contrast background. |
| #10 Fractal_Wave[40566] |
| 24.67.140.248.bc.wave.home.com |
The question, of course, is who's playing who?
I like it shock.
PLUR
All the best,
Fractal_Wave |
| #11 The Lakers[40569] |
| user-38ldlju.dialup.mindspring.com |
hah good one
(the audience waits in suspense for the next one)
now i will have to top this one with my own story that i'm writing right now!
i like how its starting
especially with the in between journals
and i like the colors
ur trademrks blue and yellow is awesome!! |
| #12 AdmiralPlinko[40587] |
| clarc-dhcp-83.cc.rochester.edu |
| That was amazing... |
| #13 Elendale[40619] |
| 205-213-43-223.sdlax.k12.wi.us |
1 question. What's with the main character's (I assume she's the main character anyway) name? It goes from Rea to Rae seemingly at random... or is this some sort of split personality? Hmm...
-Elendale |
| #14 shockwave[40620] |
| exchange1.sensable.com |
| It's called a "typo" :-). Everyone knows I can't spel :-(. One of my good friends in real is named "Rae", so sometimes I lapse into that spelling.... I'll just have to put everything through a spell checker next time. |
| #15 Raging~Kozak[40625] |
| sclinet1.shell.ca |
Shock nice story although I couldn't see part one for some reason. Oh well it sounds very entertaining and I can't wait to see the next one.
RK |
| #16 -kevlar[40652] |
| DLL2A020-0043.splitrock.net |
how would the guy who found the SC CD get past the CD key part of the install?
sorry, being picky. good story so far. |
| #17 AlexanderYoshi[40659] |
| bgm-34-231.stny.rr.com |
Heheh, sounds like fun, Shock, but there's one major flaw in your writing.
When a Protoss Zealot's armor(and probably himself) reaches a critical point, the Khaydarin jewel (power source) of his armor collapses in on itself and opens a small warp rift, and the protoss zealot is warped back to Aiur Shakuras or whatever place he comes from. If he's badly wounded he'll be converted into a Dragoon, whose lack structure, unfortunately, is too small and artificial to support a warp sizable to return it to home, so it cracks open and the poor Protoss dies in his soup.
(That explains the blue explosion like mist that shows up so swiftly around the Zealot and many other protoss units, then disappears. If you are going to ask why it didn't happen to Fenix, then i'll just tell you that his armor failed on him, remember. =)
Remember, Protoss are NOT expendible since they have such a low birth rate, therefore they do whatever they can to keep their soldiers alive.
Oh well, more boring and miscellaneous trivia about SC. =) |
| #18 shockwave[40661] |
| exchange1.sensable.com |
| Aha. Where in the world do I find out information like that :-b ? I admit I haven't even played through most of the single player missions... |
| #19 Core[40704] |
| cy662178-a.huntgtn1.wv.home.com |
Good writing, Shock. Even if you have trivial mistakes, I think it's pretty darn good, still. I have to agree with Mark4 in saying you have to get the next chapter posted in the next few hours. ;)
Core |
| #20 Dr.Zchivago[40746] |
| dc-ceds3-2.smartlink.navy.mil |
Very, very nice stuff. The writing is fluent and cohesive.
Yoshi has an incredibly strong point, though. Go back and refresh yourself with the characteristics of the races if you want.
If you don't want to taht is fine too, I will still read!!!
-Dr.Z |
| #21 Toolbar[40761] |
| TK147047.univie.teleweb.at |
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!!!!!!!!
Toolbar |
#22  [40780] |
| 1Cust251.tnt1.richmond.in.da.uu.net |
Wowowow... Nice Shock<i>!!</i>
I loved how you contrasted the humanity of the marines with Rapser's detached gamer attitude of "<i>So what if these marines die, I'll just make more</i>"
Kind of made me feel bad for all the marines that I have sent to their death in my long SC career.
Excellent descriptions, your battle scene had me riveted.
On a smaller, less important note, your color scheme is done well and is pleasing to the eye.
9.6 (which rounds up to a 10)
Dref |
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