"Swedes have a natural disadvantage writing english texts =)"
-[A-Laget]Grogg
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| #1 ScreamStalker[41752] | | slip-32-100-237-153.ca.us.prserv.net | | Hoped everyone liked it! As always, give me comments. | | #2 CynicalMagician[41753] | | proxy1.gvcl1.bc.wave.home.com | 1st non author.
I'm not usually a big fan of story BR's (with the exception of X-COM stories) but yours was well written and a good read. | | #3 probe[41764] | | 242849hfc133.tampabay.rr.com | | you didn't even read it, whore! | | #4 Tagusian[44152] | | sac-ca45-19.ix.netcom.com | (and yes, I did actually read it!)
I liked it. Interesting and creative, especially regarding the attributes and technology of the Dark templar. It could well be formed into a more rich and detailed account of the early days of the dark templar. However, I have two constructively critical comments:
1) I thought that the Dark Templar were banished from Auir hundreds of years before the Protoss contacted the Terran Dominion--the timeline here seems different.
2) The Dark Templar seem too anthropomorphic. That is to say, they seem human. With comments of "Yes Sir," Uncle/nephew relationships, Father/Son bonding, and hugging, I feel like I'm reading about a human, rather than an alien colony.
These comments, however, shouldn't detract from the work you've put into this: I enjoyed reading!
Sincerely, Tagusian
tagusian@ix.netcom.com |
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