| #1 S Warrior[45044] |
| d5090.dtk.chello.nl |
Well seeing that my pic uploaded and my colours are fine I guess I'm ready to make a real BR going for a +8 rate
=^.^=
I still haven't figured out how to do a black background so I just kept it white |
| #2 S Warrior[45045] |
| d5090.dtk.chello.nl |
cursed
I'm solly .Praetor should have been in my rpg
not .Preator ( hopes .Praetor will forgive him )
( also hopes everyone realises it was a typo =)))) |
| #3 `~DarKnight~'[45049] |
| spider-tp054.proxy.aol.com |
not good
2
i won't say first non-author comment
|
| #4 `~DarKnight~'[45050] |
| spider-tp054.proxy.aol.com |
ur stupid pic didn't upload fool!
xoom gives crap and the pics are all just xoom crap |
| #5 Limp_Bizkit666[45057] |
| PPPa41-ResaleLosAngelesMetro6-1R7089.saturn.bbn.com |
Xoom doesn't allow outside links, and image uploads...
SO GET DA HELL OUT OF XOOMMMMMM!!!
hehehhee, go to overused geocities...they rock ass..
byeya
p.s-ummmm....okay. |
| #6 ass[45060] |
| 129.81.251.233 |
| This is stupid shit; stop wasting both our time and your time. |
| #7 <font color=orage>Phoenix-S-[45065] |
| lrar5pp21.alltel.net |
<font color=orage><h1>WTF</h1>
<font color=red><center><h1>2</h1></center></font> |
| #8 Spuzz[45074] |
| 198.183.227.2 |
I had problems getting the background the way I wanted it, too, until Protest Boy explained it to me--you have to use tables. In his words:
[table width="whatever"]
[tr]
[td bgcolor="#000000"]
stuff stuff stuff
[/td]
[/tr]
[/table]
The "#000000" sets the backgound to black. You can play around with it until you find the color you like.
I think I made my table width 700; it ended up being a tad too wide for my liking. You can open a BattleReport and click "View Source" to see what the author did to get it looking the way it does. I've done this a couple of times to see just how a person might do something. Note you can also click on "Preview Report" to see what it will look like <i>before</i> you submit it.
As for the images, definitely check out geocities.com, that's where my glorious screen shots are stored.
The text was kinda big (painful to read), but I have high hopes for you. Good luck! |
| #9 CynicalMagician[45075] |
| 24.69.118.247.bc.wave.home.com |
Well, you obviously want to write fan fic, so thats a good thing. However, there are a few things that I would recommend you do to improve your style. 1) Dont use the word U. Type the whole word. Always use proper grammar. The only thing more annoying than grammar errors in BR's is when its too big for the screen.
2) Read lots of fan fic, to really get a feel for how its written, and also read some good fantasy or sci-fi literature. It seems like yours is... unexperienced if you know what I mean. Pick up the Death Gate Cycle (its a great 7 book series) by Magaret Weis and someone else I think... Tracy Hickman. The two of them also wrote some decent sci-fi blast-em-up stories, but I can't remember what they are called. Try and emulate their style, and you'll get farther.
All in all, nice effort, but it needs some work.
-CynicalMagician |
| #10 [z]RubberDucky[45084] |
| crtntx1-ar3-098-206.dsl.gtei.net |
YOu guys are generous. 1.
.1 |
| #11 [45088] |
| 1Cust34.tnt6.lax1.da.uu.net |
great job for a fan fic. but you should make it longer and use proper grammar. like okay instead of k. also you should give characters some names so its easier to keep track of them. i know you did name one guy though. his name was jin and you didn't even tell us who he was except the fact he was part of squadron a on was on a mission to find a expansion. you should have told us what unit he was or something like when you explaned what infantry the commander had.
if i was a rater i would give this a 1.5
.5 for trying
1 for a okay job |
| #12 Phuckin-Retard[45128] |
| lldslppp117.phnx.uswest.net |
Doesn't Fan fiction have to be longer than two paragraphs? And shouldn't the author use spelling and grammatical skills that excede a 4th grade education?
It would also be swell if the fonts weren't so big, I don't like reading the battlereports 10 feet from my computer.
I guess the author did a good job....
....if he is under the age of 5.
|
| #13 S Warrior[45149] |
| d5090.dtk.chello.nl |
actually I just ran a spelling check and it only had 4 minor spelling mistakes
Considering english is my second langauge I'm not really devastated by it
and as mentioned before this was just to practice ( not a real long RPG )
for some reason I did saw the pic so I thought it did upload
I also didn't had a problem with the fonts...
only the title and ending line were used in h1 size
also since english is my secondary language I've got an excuse
what's yours phuckin retard?
excede does not exist
do you want me to correct that for you or you wanna do it yourself?
as for the others
thanx for your input I'll try and do better next time with better colours =)
|
| #14 Baxter-O'Bixby[45180] |
| info-190-38.Lib.Berkeley.EDU |
I'd recommend running the reports through a grammar checker as well (I think Word has a halfway decent one)... the things aren't perfect, but they would weed out one or two mistakes.
And to avoid flames, don't post things that are "just tests." That's what the Preview button is for. Anything up on this site as a report is assumed to be an actual report (or the occasional fanfic). Tests like this leave readers feeling irate.
Also, I'm surprised that everything looked fine on your computer; try viewing the report from a friend's house and maybe you'll see what we're talking about (you might have some funky browser settings or something).
As for the rating I'd give this, I'm sorry, but for the reason I mentioned two paragraphs above, this does not deserve a positive number. Were I an admin, I would simply delete it. |
#15  [45304] |
| as530089.infocom.com |
okay my turn...
I appreciate the multicultural aspect of BRing (i.e. frenchy reports) but I feel like a person has to know their limits. If you don't speak or write well in English, than writing fan fic is going to be a big problem.
I'm going to go ahead and give this a 2 because you weren't spamming, you really were trying.
Cheers,
Dref |
| #16 DancingMidget[45586] |
| AC896988.ipt.aol.com |
| It seems everytime someone is critized for their bad grammar and things, they say english is their second language... |
| #17 Agent BoB[48037] |
| 202.7.169.111 |
hmm... that's a really good idea actually...
since english is my second language too I can now take the excuse whenever I write anything silly, even tho my english is better than my chinnese :->
anyways, the story seemed ok so far, but I think it would be nice to establish what it's about, the story feels unfinshed (probably because it is)
|
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