| #1 Peons4Ever[48776] |
| d17-kt01-ktnr-pdi.attcanada.net |
i finally get first YAH!!!
too bad its my own writing |
| #2 CynicalMagician[48778] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Not bad. This is supposed to be a PG site though, so you may want to lay off some of the swearing.
-CynicalMagician |
| #3 Starookie[48779] |
| edtn009445.hs.telusplanet.net |
Pretty neat fanfiction....cussing was kind odd tho..i mean
"thats bullshit you cocksucker!" eek thats kinda....vulgar.
"I hardly cared since one of the little bastards buddies was trying to rip off my crotch" hehe that part was funny.
Overall, nice fanfic. Keep it up
|
| #4 Starookie[48780] |
| edtn009445.hs.telusplanet.net |
Pretty neat fanfiction....cussing was kind odd tho..i mean
"thats bullshit you cocksucker!" eek thats kinda....vulgar.
"I hardly cared since one of the little bastards buddies was trying to rip off my crotch" hehe that part was funny.
Overall, nice fanfic. Keep it up
|
| #5 Peons4Ever[48781] |
| d35-kt01-ktnr-pdi.attcanada.net |
| sorry if you guys don't like the swearing i'll try to lay off a bit if i write another |
| #6 Master-chef[48791] |
| 98ACBB6A.ipt.aol.com |
This was an ok BR, I believe the swearing helped this BR... im a swearing fan =]...
gj mr guy
P.S. I think theres too many peon fans here, i dunno im juss a chef =
Im a broodling lover myself coz they for great for apple pies =P |
| #7 BW-sux[48795] |
| spider-wl074.proxy.aol.com |
It was decent though it needs a little refining. Such as less swearing. And maybe try to visualize the fanfic through the "commanders" eyes less.
6
BW-sux |
| #8 ~PL~CloudStrife[48796] |
| ci991207-b.edgewd1.ky.home.com |
| more more more more more |
| #9 Silent_Agent[48805] |
| cs26226-209.satx.rr.com |
| had some bad grammar and some mis-spelled words.. but gw |
#10 [48883] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
Nice job. Some good writing there. I like your style.
Btw, its Colonel (pronounced ker-nel)
7
Cheers,
Dref |
| #11 '-=|ACE|=-'[48894] |
| ppp02-207.algx.iadfw.net |
Hey, nice job, i am also a fan of swearing =Þ, neway i wanna know wuts gonna happen with the borken leg guy and the nice ass medic!!! do a sequal or something!!
|
| #12 :+:NoonE:+:[48923] |
| c408591-a.plstn1.sfba.home.com |
| <marquee>U know, it would be cooler if u showed the medics ass, yeah, that would make me give it a ten!!</marquee> |
| #13 Peons4Ever[48930] |
| d34-kt01-ktnr-pdi.attcanada.net |
| sure i'll do a sequal, and ace, you have NO idea what happens between him and the medic..... |
| #14 Peons4Ever[48931] |
| d34-kt01-ktnr-pdi.attcanada.net |
oh yeah i forgot something
I MADE GOLD YAAAA!!!!! FIRST TIME EVER WRITING ANYTHING AND I GOT GOLD !!!!!!!!!
WHOEVER RATED THIS IS A GOD!!!!!!
*ahem*
i just had to get it out |
| #15 Phoenix-S-[48987] |
| lrar5pp60.alltel.net |
| Except for the rather large blank space at the end which should've been filled witha picture of some nude medics it was a good BR. |
| #16 Peons4Ever[49101] |
| d4-kt01-ktnr-pdi.attcanada.net |
| the trouble is, there are no pictures of nude medics =) |
| #17 Nark[49414] |
| 207.198.174.22 |
| Hmm. Reading this gradually got less painful as it went on. |