| #1 Limp_Bizkit666[50131] |
| whv-ca4c-206.rasserver.net |
OMG, how da hell did i get first comment???
hmmmm....
oh well..
BRB. gotta read part one..
byeya
p.s-wheeee! |
| #2 Viper$[50169] |
| spider-to036.proxy.aol.com |
<P ALIGN=center>Excelent story
After reading part one you were abale to fully intigrate a world wich we have never had any contact w/and make it almost as familure as many other fanfic worlds wich we were already acuanted w/
This is truly the mark of greatness
The story was very intreging
I want to play that fight sim game it sounds like fun
Near the end where the main character attacked w/energy remineded me a lot of Dragon Ball(not that that is a bad thing I just noticed it)
I can't wait to see the end
I got in the top 5 woohoo
<P ALIGN=left><font size=20><font color="red">T</font><font color="blue">e</font><font color="white">r</font><font color="yellow">r</font><font color="green">a</font><font color="purple>n</font> <font color="orange>o</font><font color="lime">w</font><font color="silver">s</font>
|
| #3 Viper$[50170] |
| spider-to036.proxy.aol.com |
<P ALIGN=center>Oops
lets see if it works now
<P ALIGN=left><font size=20><font color="red">T</font><font color="blue">e</font><font color="white">r</font><font color="yellow">r</font><font color="green">a</font><font color="purple">n</font> <font color="orange">o</font><font color="lime">w</font><font color="silver">s</font> |
| #4 Viper$[50174] |
| spider-to036.proxy.aol.com |
<P ALIGN=center>Not this time either
Now it will work
<P ALIGN=left><font size=20><font color="red">T</font><font color="blue">e</font><font color="white">r</font><font color="yellow">r</font><font color="green">a</font><font color="purple">n</font><font color="aqua">s</font> <font color="orange">o</font><font color="lime">w</font><font color="silver">n</font>
|
| #5 RadariG[50178] |
| sdn-ar-001albirmP023.dialsprint.net |
Thanks for the second comment, Viper, not as much thanks for the third and fourth.
Anyway, despite the fact that there were a few awkward sentences in there from the fact that I wrote the latter half of it last night, I was proud of it. Tell me if you want me to continue, anyone.
Praying for a good score,
RadariG |
#6  [50221] |
| as530011.infocom.com |
Still a little short to be considered a story. It kind of reminded me of a contining comic strip (like The Phantom), especially since part 1 was so short as well.
Some of the dialogue was a little vague and I'm still not sure what direction you're heading in with this thing. I would like to see a much more substantial part 3 that will really get me into the story instead of just vague hints at what is going on.
Still, I like you're writing style and would like to see you continue.
6
Cheers,
Dref |
| #7 RadariG[50227] |
| ACA050B6.ipt.aol.com |
Tee hee. That brings my Rookmark to 22.
Hoorah.
Sigh. Maybe I should try BRing a TS match again. Everyone loved that. |
| #8 Limp_Bizkit666[50298] |
| 206.117.45.150 |
god, i love this story..
but, just to remind you... your "report" is truly equivalent to around 3 pages in a book. and that is extremely short considering an average book is more than a 100 pages...
you either will need to make this a 30-part story with 6.5 averages, or 10 part mastermiece with around 7.5 averages...
hmm, although i would take the 30 wit 6.5.. (it will boost your ass soooo high up on the rookmark. =])
anyways, yeah, do that.. write out a longgggg ass report, and separate it into few peices.. but don't write a little at a time tho.. it really cuts the mental flow of the story, and even might make it inconsistent..
nice idea. little bit of the matrix, little bit of forementioned dragon-ball, and some 13th floor..
PLZ continue..
gw..
byeya
p.s-although i advocated making short reports to boost up your rookmark, as a reader, i found them too short. i want them longer!!!.. =] oh yeah, don't forget to use commas. i think some peoople were confused because they didn't know where to pause. commas are your friend. =] |
| #9 BW-sux[50685] |
| spider-wj043.proxy.aol.com |
<B> REMEMBER THAT FFA THAT YOU WERE GONNA REPORT BUT YOU NEVER DID? I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT SOMETIME!! AND I WON'T READ THIS UNTIL YOU PUT THAT REPORT UP!!!
THANK YOU.
BW-sux</B> |
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
