| #1 CynicalMagician[67449] |
| px3cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
But remember, its not as funny when it's YOUR ass caught in the mechanical tie rack.
Enjoy!
-CM |
| #2 The.Confessor[67451] |
| ip214-71.resnet.pc.jmu.edu |
| wtf? |
| #3 WarLeaderJustin[67452] |
| spider-wc014.proxy.aol.com |
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh....
Yeah, rap, ok...
-WLJ |
| #4 +AnathemA+[67457] |
| ip184.phoenix11.az.pub-ip.psi.net |
| this was about as hard to follow as it gets. no offense, it probably took a long time, but i was killing myself the whole time for having started reading it. maybe its that im under teh influence of sleep inducing drugs, maybe its the fact that battle reporting and starcraft never made it to the "hood" for a reason. |
| #5 Carni-Swarm[67461] |
| ftpproxy.clear.net.nz |
You must have put SO much effort into this. I really appreciated it. Anyone who didn't, read the hidden text at the bottom. it=ten
I give the whole thing an 8
Carni-Swarm |
| #6 Breeze[67466] |
| ppp10-varna.bulnet.com |
STRRRRRROOOONG!!!!!!!!!!
OMFG..... when I saw the beginning, I took some time to find "Ice ice baby" in my MP3 archive and was listening to it and reading the new lyrics... I thought that was damn funny and amazing and that next I would just see a normal report... wow how wrong I was... CM that was one of the best reports ever! I mean it. An AMAZING back and forth game, and the most original writing I've ever seen in a report... what more could one wish... and the alt-text... and the hidden message... WOW!!!!
BTW two amazing ZvZ reports this week... that just proves what a great game BW is...
"imbalance and boring matchups" ?!?!? - Die!!!!!!!!! =]
CM thank you!!!!!!!! |
| #7 DivvyO[67467] |
| 162.119.232.100 |
"Look at the size of her chobos"
Damn original, but what's with the whole rap kick?
DivvyO |
| #8 JawaAvenger[67470] |
| d7-69.hntnny.optonline.net |
Sorry man, I just can't read that much non-insulting rap at once...
Did read the porn thing though. 8) |
#9  [67471] |
| 242835hfc143.tampabay.rr.com |
| itll be a cold day in hell when i read this |
| #10 Sonneillon[67473] |
| tsdlsk01d01010135.sk.sympatico.ca |
Lol. Great read my sass master...
<i>"But then figures out that they're fat & American..."</i>
And the rap with Sonny trying to get laid... =]
9 |
| #11 Wangsonn[67475] |
| fcs00gsp.gsp.bellsouth.net |
| i dont like rap sorry= |
| #12 Starookie[67477] |
| edtn009848.hs.telusplanet.net |
Godamn! After the first paragraph i found it f**king hard to keep track of the game. The hawk paragraph made me laugh out loud tho =).
Tons of creativity, but tought to follow, which makes this a .....
<font size=6>8.5</font>well......9.5 |
| #13 -SD[67480] |
| ip60.saskatoon3.dialup.canada.psi.net |
| It was the porn thing that did it, Its a 9.9 in my book, cause I ain't fond of rap either |
| #14 Elendale[67483] |
| kundry.luther.edu |
Damn... I have to say that i'm impressed... but i hate rap, so this gets:
2
+1 for alt text
+5 for hidden message
=8
-Elendale (besides, Slings is about the only NH person i can beat *waves* hiya) |
| #15 CynicalMagician[67484] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Yeah!!! Love it or hate it guys! I want a rating of about 6 on this baby, with 2 1's, 2 10's, and a 7 or so!
This kicks ass!
-CM
Oh btw, look at the source code of the hidden text... there is extra hidden text. Only read it if you have no morals though. =P |
| #16 -trainee-[67485] |
| 207-172-81-125.s125.tnt1.ptr.va.dialup.rcn.com |
| LOL... Look's like -SOMEONE- was getting a bit jealous of -MY- rapping skills. Rapping is much harder when it's free style and no set tempo or rhythm to rhyme too. However a song with vanilla Ice... lol. I prefer michael jackson. You know I mass, I mass, You know it. I mass, I mass, you know it Ah AH, I mass, I mass, You know it, Ah ah. When your 8 friggin barracks pumpin mad marines is still not enough for my lings, I MASS, Dun dun dun da da dun dun doo doo... etc etc, not a bad report either :) |
| #17 -trainee-[67486] |
| 207-172-81-125.s125.tnt1.ptr.va.dialup.rcn.com |
| Im sure this rhyme too quite a while to complete. rapping free style aint no easy feat. but you got game, as any freestyler would know. rhyming about your br'ing skills, while still mentioning your ho'z, but that's how it goes, when your reporting and freestyling. slingsnarrows is buckwilyn throwing lyrical rhymes that's high society, high and mighty. mighty hard to beat. rapping like this is easy when your rapping out your cardboard box on the street. WTF is this? trainee's trying to diss? Yes sir slings. I hit and I dont miss. Your rhymes are fine and came in due time. but my freestyling is fresh, takes little time to be completed, you can't outrhyme me. Your already defeated. So playing SC outta that cardboard box, your STILL trying to outrhyme me. But im hard knox. It's a card board life for us... is what im singing. ghetto elite super fly rhymes is what im brining, top this. and ill drop this, but for now it's come to an end. my rhymes are to be copied. because it's a growing trend. |
| #18 WarLeaderJustin[67488] |
| spider-tq034.proxy.aol.com |
My ode to the rapping world:
<I>
So you wanna be an SC Reporter, live on the net, 5 10's, gettin' them raters, people thinking your a star.</i>
<b>Cut my SC CD into pieces! This is my last resort! Newbies! Pubbies! This is my last resort!</B>
<i>Oo, that BR so scandelous, and you know I'll never be able to read it so, because your writting that thing in rap, so just connect the dots... Let me see that gold! That gold, gold, gold. Make your raters go, yeah, shake that gold!</i>
<b>But CM, what if you win the HOF poll, wouldn't it be weird?
Why, so you guys could just vote me in to get me here, so you can sit me here next to Drefshit and Bitch4? Ha, ::nobody:: better switch me chairs, so I can sit next to JV and Bob the Newt, and argue over who got BR-ed first.
I'm sick of all the BGH maps, so I've been sent here to destroy them.
I'm the real CM, I'm the real CM, the real CM.</b>
<i>CynicalMagician
Bwang.
CyncialMagician
Well, I'm packing up my StarCraft folder, and I'm heading out pubbie, where the bitches have no skill, find a nitch in the game, hold up my ladder, give a toast to Grrr..., get a high offa maynarding, Cynical and dirty...
Cause I'm CYNICAL BABY.... CYNICAL....</i>
<b>Somebody once told me that CM would own me...
I aint the best BR-er on the net...
He was looking kind of dumb,
rapping like a fumb.
Well, the raters start coming, and they don't stop coming, back to the net, BR some more games...
HEY NOW, YOU'RE A SC BR-er, clear them folders, get your gear on, get 10's...</b>
Dang, I know how to rap.
:D
-WLJ
|
| #19 PrincessCollsy[67492] |
| bgm-24-94-59-112.stny.rr.com |
| hmm...i think that's all there is to say about this one...hmmm.... |
| #20 WarLeaderJustin[67493] |
| spider-tq034.proxy.aol.com |
And now, for a change of pace.
<i>At first, I was a newbie.
I was chobo-ness.
Kept thinking I could never live without allies by my side.
But then I spent so many nights and how you made me gosu. And I grew strong, and I knew how to play before long!
I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIVE!</I>
-WLJ
|
| #21 CynicalMagician[67495] |
| px4cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
loolllolollll
you rule WLJ
"
CynicalMagician
Bwang.
CyncialMagician
"
LOL |
| #22 [bad]derek[67497] |
| spider-wg044.proxy.aol.com |
| myst lost? ='( |
| #23 SlingsNArrows[67499] |
| bgm-24-95-150-230.stny.rr.com |
Whoa, Breeze, mention my name less :o)
Trainee, if you wish you can look into SCV~007's reports, I was freestylin long before I ever saw your name, let alone knew you joked around with rap.
I hope POA sees that this isn't what we had talked about.
annnd.... uh.. ya, I hope everybody got a laugh out of this :o)
btw: Sweeeeeet! Bob's not gonna read! Sweeeeeeeet!
|
| #24 TheOnlyReaper[67500] |
| 207-172-131-94.s94.tnt4.col.md.dialup.rcn.com |
| Kick ass. Very Kick ass. easy 8-9 |
| #25 Breeze[67501] |
| ppp22-varna.bulnet.com |
| Hahahah Slings I was so excited I forgot who was working on it :)))))) Great job, BOTH OF YOU !!! |
| #26 ::nobody::[67507] |
| dt0110nd9.san.rr.com |
OMG HAHAHHA
LMAO :D :P :)
KekeKEkeEke
*cough**choke**cough*
HAHhahaHAHHA
Cyn + Slings = Own
<b>10!</b>
ciao!
Nobo |
| #27 ::nobody::[67508] |
| dt0110nd9.san.rr.com |
Oh yea, btw the best way to piss of a Canadian:
Say anything and then follow it with "eh?" and much laughter. :P
ciao!
Nobo |
| #28 SixtyWATZ[67518] |
| spider-wn031.proxy.aol.com |
OMG Slings man this must have taken some long evenings to write. Christ man maybe if I took the time I COULD RAP BETTER THAN YOU but right now your the man slings.... Unless of course cynical wrote these phat rhymes... But than i say Cyn aint from the ghetto So it must be slings CUZ HES STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON!!!
BTW I would write a tasty rap right now but work is a startin. Slings we will duke it out in channel later. |
| #29 SlingsNArrows[67522] |
| bgm-24-95-150-230.stny.rr.com |
| Watz, we alternated on the rap, but the Vanilla ice thing was all Cyn as was the porn at the end :o) |
| #30 CynicalMagician[67523] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
aahdhasddhfhddfhas anOOOOOOO NASODNDFOSSIA DFSSDFA SHIT!!!
I FORGOT TO MENTION FRACTAL WITH THAT PORN THING! HE HELPED LOTS!!
rfy89-
sorry man, I meant to have your name in there.
Needless to say now, Fractal did help me a good deal with that whole thing, after we were talking about what it would be like if we went to prom together, ended up drunk talking about SC... |
#31  [67525] |
| rliv218.infocom.com |
hmmm, makin' the white boys proud eh?
This was obviously a stupendous effort and though I think this could possibly be the gayest battle report I've ever read, the effort is obviously there. There were some funny lines and the porn was fucking hilarious.
8
Dref |
| #32 SlingsNArrows[67530] |
| bgm-24-95-150-230.stny.rr.com |
Scoreeeeeeeeee! We're in the history books as gayest ever!!!!
:o) |
| #33 [67531] |
| rliv218.infocom.com |
<b>possibly</b> the gayest... ;-)
And don't let me catch you out on the street Slings...
Dref |
| #34 Apex-X[67537] |
| r67h96.res.gatech.edu |
| GAYNESS this sucky report gets an 8 wtf it's about all crap! I mean please make the fucking game harder to understand w/ your gayness he deserves a 5 hahaha |
| #35 Starookie[67540] |
| edtn009848.hs.telusplanet.net |
Chika chika starookie, in his mid teens baby, hippin it up to the sound of cyn and slings in his mercedes, callin cyn a lady....sorry doc there's no way you can save me, its ok go with tim hailey.....
God, im screwed in the head.
Starookie |
| #36 [67543] |
| as530053.infocom.com |
As long as were resurrecting white boy wannabes...
Yo, its about that time,
to battlereport with rhythm and with rhyme.
Dref is obsin' this so get yours,
I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores
On the Temple with the Bengalass swingin' it
Strictly fastest or I ain't playin' it
Bringin' it to the entire nation
please, thanks, good, work, feel the Vibration
Come on, come on... feel it, feel it
Feel the Vibration
Its such a Good Vibration
Its such a Swee-eet Sensation
Yeah, whatever...
Who says white boys can't rap... ME<i>!</i>
Dref |
| #37 Shepherd[67544] |
| res104a-013.rh.rit.edu |
I am 'atching my sheep!
I am 'atching my sheep!
I am 'atching my sheep!
Yo YO Yo
I am 'atching zerglings kill my sheep!
I am 'atching zealots kill my sheep!
I am 'atching medics kill my sheep!
Ow Ow Ow |
| #38 Shepherd[67545] |
| res104a-013.rh.rit.edu |
| So I can't rap. . .sue me |
| #39 Spuzz[67552] |
| jfsn-01-201.dialup.netins.net |
Funky. I wasn't too keen on the rap, but you deserve high marks for innovation and flat-out balls, not to mention the time it must have taken to write it. I gotta admit I'm very impressed.
Spuzz |
| #40 GammaRayBurst[67560] |
| dnai-216-15-61-236.cust.dnai.com |
Heh, very unique report guys, I like it (even though I'm not a big fan of rap).
P.S.: There's a reason they call it the <i>International</i> Space Station :P
-GRB |
| #41 TerranTurtle[67561] |
| pc85dn03.fcc.net |
| Heh. Funky shit. Now someone do a top 80 Ways to Piss off Canadians. Why 80? Because there's SO many ways to piss them Canucks off! CANADA: That hunk of land north of the United States. |
| #42 SlingsNArrows[67562] |
| bgm-24-95-150-230.stny.rr.com |
LoL, I actually don't like rap either. It's just fun to write.
lol, Apex coming down in here trying to act like he's some sort of judge.... obviously he doesn't recognize a report done for fun when he sees one.
You best recognize foooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe, had to keep the ghetto theme |
| #43 Shrad[67563] |
| 209-6-250-17.c3-0.lex-ubr2.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com |
Nice br, rap = supergosu
10! |
| #44 QuadManiac[67566] |
| spider-wg033.proxy.aol.com |
| ? |
| #45 -trainee-[67568] |
| 207-172-81-196.s196.tnt1.ptr.va.dialup.rcn.com |
| Too bad I am a real life rapper. I don't think Ill reveal my name though. =( |
| #46 :+:starduck:+:[67569] |
| dhcp-163-249.tulane.edu |
| Ah fuck it. I just want you to know that this so-called report sucked nutZ. EAt shit and die please. Peace BITCHES. I hope you had a fun time wasting your time writing 100,000,000 words of pure grade F bull shit. Cheers you cocksucking motherfuckers. |
| #47 WarLeaderJustin[67577] |
| spider-to033.proxy.aol.com |
Admin: Is there a way to ban both someone's IP and their user name?
-WLJ |
| #48 [67578] |
| 242835hfc143.tampabay.rr.com |
ahaha apex rocks
trainee are you're vanilla ice! |
| #49 WarLeaderJustin[67580] |
| dhcp-163-249.tulane.edu |
I just realized that i have no life since i frequent this sight 100 times a day. I also write battle reports for fun. I just realized how fun this is.
-WLJ
|
| #50 Fractal_Wave[67581] |
| 24.65.12.23.bc.wave.home.com |
Holy god Cynical, that's impressive.
And the SC porn quotes are GOLD.
All the best,
Fractal_Wave |
| #51 WarLeaderJustin[67585] |
| spider-tq083.proxy.aol.com |
Please ban the person who impersonated me on comment #50. I just can't <i>stand</i> impersonaters. They are the lowest kind of people.
-WLJ |
#52  [67590] |
| we-24-165-190-157.we.mediaone.net |
I may read this tomorrow when my brain is functioning a little better. How about the next BR is to Country music?
Don't rape my base - My achy breaky base
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
|
| #53 ....(variable[67591] |
| h24-65-227-89.cg.shawcable.net |
whoa... nice report... actually, check that - bad report, seriously chubby rhymes. but whatever... i hope it gets decent ratings cause compared to a typical 8 report, i'd rather have read this one. :)
fav's:
> 3. Now that's what I call whoring.
> 2. Dude, a naked expansion... and a big one!
oh ya... and go cubans! rofl
|
| #54 SixtyWATZ[67595] |
| spider-te022.proxy.aol.com |
| Man remember slings give me some props. I pioneered Rap in NH... VOTE WATZ FOR HIS PIONEERING RAP SKILLS! |
| #55 BUU[67604] |
| 207.80.13.5 |
rap is evilz!!!!!!
impersonators are gay! (luckily im safe, no one would ever want to impersonate me.. wait that gives me an idea, for the next br, lets all use one name.. let random ppl who dont know our secret try to guess who is who! mwahhahahaha my evil shall take over your world! ahhahaheheammdjewfermremermre)
err umm yeah.. and the continuing sstupidity of starfuck (actually thats really a kewl song so i shouldnt call him that...) duck fuck.. yeah thats better anwyas.. if its so lame and all that..why do you read it?
and rap is evil nasty ugly shit! and if your going to write such a complex and hard to read br.. atleast make more prety pictures for me too look it while i skip by all the text..
and damn it, those rank 1.0 reports are funny as hell!! im telling you this is the BEST comedy shiozt11!@!!@!!@ |
| #56 Roaddog{WP}[67616] |
| proxy2-external.pr1.on.home.com |
10. Player 1: I hope he's using a shield battery.
Player 2: Dude, he probably has a flavoured one or something.
9. Why is that idiot cameraman in the shot? I hate jackass observers.
8. So that's what a Lost Temple looks like.
7. She looks like she's been overplayed.
6. Is that a carrier in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
5. Player 1: Oh my god.
Player 2: Dude, what?
Player 1: That's the medic.
Player 2: Holy god you're right.
4. Hot damn! Look at the size of her chobos!
3. Now that's what I call whoring.
2. Dude, a naked expansion... and a big one!
1. I hope he doesn't rush....
OWNAGE |
| #57 the_fizzler[67631] |
| proxy1-external.wlfdle1.on.home.com |
| Golly, do you ever have a lot of soul! |
| #58 e[67651] |
| node121.nodezero.net |
wow, great report!
you guys are not eminems yet I enjoyed (just about) every verse.
my fav rhyme:
Totally bereft of economy,
Feeling the peon sodomy |
| #59 <font color=yellow>[67659] |
| gateway.ncdsb.com |
<i>
I don't do rap,
No I don't do that crap
but this smashin' rap
added to this report's zap.
I admit it was gay
And I'm not that way
But as I say,
I liked this today
Don't you see
It's not about me
It's about gettin it right
An' seein' the light
Fightin' the fight
Brotha you got a Nine,
That's pretty damn bright.
This freakin owned
Worth my weight in gold
Owned my bonez
Even though it was stoned
</i>
That sorta says it all. Gay but kinda . . . I dunno . . . cool and stuff.
WTG! lol |
| #60 <font color=yellow> |]agomar[67660] |
| gateway.ncdsb.com |
| Darn forgot name . . . that was me . . . |
| #61 Haplo.wm[67665] |
| w043.z064000081.was-dc.dsl.cnc.net |
I'm not a fan of rap at all.
but this rocked! Great effort, good work, guys!
Haplo.wm
.:..-. |
| #62 Corbalt[67679] |
| g2k-1-ip-151.albany.thebiz.net |
| Hey, really funny. The vanilla ice thing was great, and the porn thing at the end was funny as hell. ..Oh yeah and the game was pretty good too ;). You guys have some really good freestyling skills. Oh yeah slings sorry i took so long to comment, i fell asleep last nighr before i could. |
| #63 mindcry[67697] |
| 65.dial-up.T-3000.pnt.oceana.net |
Ice Ice baby spoof = ownage..
Porn quotes = ownage...
|
| #64 Eriador[67751] |
| port5.msx12-tro.ppp.cybercity.no |
omfgsfgsgf that owned.
gw
eri |
#65  [67867] |
| frasier.ford.com |
| Greatest rhymes of all time. Keep em coming or I'll be bummin. Rapping on starcraft is just so fly, Cynical Magicain you are the guy. |
| #66 ME dude[68183] |
| spider-ta055.proxy.aol.com |
uhh
u either are some poet dude
OR U HAVE NO LYF!
|
| #67 Snork~Dimmy[68651] |
| async197-per2-isp-4.nas.one.net.au |
OMFG "I hope he doesnt rush" LMAO
those top 10 sayings owned the entire BR, letterman thieves |
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