#1  [77064] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
Another "bored at work" presentation.
No lesbians this time though... :(
Enjoy...
Dref |
| #2 Wangsonn[77065] |
| adsl-78-164-41.gsp.bellsouth.net |
| wow this was weird |
| #3 Scarab[77066] |
| AC858B90.ipt.aol.com |
| this didnt make much sense |
| #4 CynicalMagician[77067] |
| px3cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Umm, this would have been way better if there was either a more definable mood (ie humourous, or serious, or action/adventure), or if there were lesbians. It seemed a little, "go nowhere," as it stood. Interesting concept though.
-CM |
| #5 awe 6[77071] |
| proxy3-external.pinol1.sfba.home.com |
| Well...nice story i guess. 8. As a new idea its nice, but it's as if i've just walked into a movie that's halfway done, and no one in the audience will tell me anything about it. gj still. |
| #6 Sexy^Orangutang[77074] |
| c1256320-a.stcla1.sfba.home.com |
hmmmmm.........
|
| #7 Wisest~Yoda[77077] |
| pm3-1-153.boscobel.mwt.net |
hmm
i would read it but its too fucking long
make ur next one like 1/2 page and i might read it
if i was bored or something
later
YODA |
| #8 TerranNavel[77078] |
| h000094b63add.ne.mediaone.net |
| Aww, I wanted a lesbian sex scene right when they both were in the water. |
| #9 DivvyO[77079] |
| adsl-64-160-24-1.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net |
| TerranNavel <i>would</i> assume the human was female .... |
| #10 the()vermind[77081] |
| user-2ive799.dialup.mindspring.com |
| Great stuff, but you should of put at the beggining,"This is not meant to offend any race, religion, or nationality." I think this will get a 1-10, lol, 4-8, I give 7 |
| #11 Punck[77083] |
| nic-130-c229-131.new.rr.com |
| haha, that's good stuff Dref. |
| #12 [77084] |
| as530005.infocom.com |
hehe, I sense confusion. Perhaps I should stick to something you guys can understand *cough* lesbians *cough*.
I have to admit, I just got home and read it again and I could have filled out some parts. The basic idea is that the war between the three races is over, the Zerg have been defeated, but many of the protoss are left homeless due to the great destruction on their planet. So the humans decide to allow the zealots to move into some of their "suburban" neighborhoods. However, some of the humans don't take too kindly to this, especially the fundamentalists who feel like the zealots are spawned from the devil (My mom (who is a fundy) really believes this due to the protoss "psychic" powers). Some of the more zealous believers decide to take matters into their own hands though it ends up being a bit more difficult than they expected...
Anyway, that's a synopsis. I'm seriously considering putting up a real battle report soon, these little stories are basically just for fun... :)
Cheers,
Dref |
| #13 King_[LSRS-13][77088] |
| c1081558-a.clmba1.mo.home.com |
It was pretty nice. I liked it. I talk in less than 10 word sentences. I wish to know what was the meaning. Anyways, i'm early in this, isn't that weird? I'm usually last.
King |
#14  [77091] |
| 63.95.219.132 |
| Pretty good stuff Dref. Nice concept. |
#15  [77096] |
| zmapxypro04-b.zma.compaq.com |
I actually didn't mind it that much Dref. Gj :D
7
Fox |
| #16 [77097] |
| zmapxypro04-b.zma.compaq.com |
Actually I should rephrase. It was a great read :D
Fox |
| #17 badtz_maru[77098] |
| barry-asy-57.rutgers.edu |
erm u shoulda said like as the the prelude or somthin
dref but reminded me of the predator with schwazrneggar
plan on makin more ?
goodjob |
| #18 garett[77101] |
| cdm-159-64-tyl.cox-internet.com |
| i found this funny for some reason |
| #19 Guy Montag[77105] |
| 192.195.229.210 |
Excellent!~~! I loved it!
vgj |
| #20 DrAwesome[77106] |
| PPP-155-16.va.sprint-hsd.net |
Dref, this was very cool, but like many said, sorta confusing. Your post-report description made it make more sense, and if you had worked that into the story itself, it would hav been even more entertaining than it already was :D. I can really see you being a novelist. Your writing is amazing and your ideas are even better. Hmm, I'm looking forward to more. =]
9... but... on "battlereports.com" i dunno if it fit...
Make your own Drefsab's tales website or something |
| #21 Plague[77108] |
| bing187.smith.binghamton.edu |
| Bring back the lesbians! Anyway, it's much less confusing after you explained it, Dref. It seems like a chapter out of a long fiction novel. Look into doing the whole thing, you are a good writer. This piece is pretty good. |
| #22 Protestor[77109] |
| dial140.tyler.net |
| A religious fanatic hunting down someone in water? NOW who's the "zealot" eh? |
| #23 Kaz[77112] |
| HSE-London-ppp195728.sympatico.ca |
Confusing? Not for me. Oh well.
I liked how the "zealot" chased after the zealot. |
| #24 [LoR]-Napoleic[77118] |
| van3d14.dial.uniserve.ca |
| Not bad, reminded me of the Jehovah fan fic you did a while back that wound up leading to that huge religious debate. You trying to get another one going or something =)? |
| #25 [77119] |
| as530005.infocom.com |
Kaz, I like how you put it, a zealot chasing a zealot. YOu win the prize... :)
hehe napoleic, nothin' like pokin' fun at the fundies... :)
Dref |
| #26 King_[LSRS-13][77120] |
| c1081558-a.clmba1.mo.home.com |
| I just hope mourning wood doesn't come and see this and then call it shit because he thinks it's crap because they had religion in it. |
| #27 [77123] |
| as530005.infocom.com |
haha, where is good ole woody? I'm actually curious about his opinion on this lesbianless story... :P
Dref |
| #28 'bengalaas'[77124] |
| 1Cust12.tnt1.reno.nv.da.uu.net |
| ...... |
| #29 ((Ash))[77126] |
| c714799-a.pinol1.sfba.home.com |
| Ok, this was a cool concept, and a good story, but...whats up with the telepathic squirrel? |
| #30 Protestor[77127] |
| pool140.tyler.net |
| Dref, that wasn't Kaz's idea/phrase. MINE! READ COMMENT 23! I WANT THE PRIZE! |
| #31 TDM[77128] |
| ci991207-b.edgewd1.ky.home.com |
| Dude, that squrrel owns. Gogo dref. |
| #32 (DL)Spam[77129] |
| hst000003162um.kincannon.olemiss.edu |
| intresting, not bad, but I think your reaching, like your trying to make the story more then it is. |
| #33 Cearas[77130] |
| proxy-02.pe.iqnet.net.au |
<i>"I meant that literally dumbass, follow me"</i>
Hahaha, funny stuff. A little confusing in some parts though. Overall a wonderful read. |
| #34 'Bengalaas'[77132] |
| 1Cust12.tnt1.reno.nv.da.uu.net |
For some odd reason I want to hear more of the story.. I believe a great deal more can be written.. Very good Dref, you're a talented writer.
Yours Truly 'Bengalaas' |
| #35 Cracky_The_Peon[77133] |
| 168.234.144.221 |
| Aside from being sacreligious, this rocked. =) |
#36  [77135] |
| proxy1-external.bremtn1.wa.home.com |
Heheh lmao
Dref, where the hell do you get this stuff?
Well, wherever it comes from, keep it coming!
-Dr.Z |
| #37 Ain_Soph[77170] |
| sdn-ar-003txdallP018.dialsprint.net |
This was a great story...i like stories where religious people get the crap beat out of them
I dont see how this was confusing to some people...
It was very understandable to me |
| #38 [77177] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
About the squirrel:
The guy thought he was the sign from God and followed him when in reality, the squirrel was simply the zealot's pet and that is why the squirrel led the man to the zealot.
See, that makes perfect sense... ermm... yeah
Dref |
| #39 SCV~007[77180] |
| t3o957p68.telia.com |
Nice writing Dref, definately worth the time to read. I dont like your comment about the squirrel though. I don't think it was the Zealot's pet, but rather his buddy, and truly God.
Make sense? |
| #40 [77181] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
haha, yes, the squirrel was truly God. That's what I meant, yeah... :)
I'll stop trying to explain the story now and let you draw whatever conclusion you want. Its more fun that way.
Dref |
| #41 [77184] |
| 63.95.219.132 |
| I though the squirrel was MCed =] |
| #42 SCV~007[77189] |
| t3o57p25.telia.com |
| Whatever the squirrel was, it was fun to read..gw. |
| #43 MourningWood[77193] |
| 24-161-188-88.san.rr.com |
Overall I felt this was an "interesting" fan fiction. The storyline seemed to shift from dramatic to comedic in an unplanned way, but I found myself wanting to read more. Since the concept was so "out there" I had to read to the end to know the punchline. In the end I was a little let down (escpecially the final joke - that reminded me of a Mentos comercial), although it was a rather funny concept. Overall I would say this fan fiction is low-average. I would rate it a:
5
Cheers,
MourningWood |
| #44 ~(MaNIAc)~[77196] |
| px1ar.ed.wave.shaw.ca |
wut K@o$ said....
Peace Maniac
|
| #45 Blackadder[77197] |
| hvachovsky.i001.law.columbia.edu |
that was pretty funny. wtg dref, dont be worried that some ppl didnt understand it, if u have to write something that everyone understands it would be so stupid i wouldnt want to read it.
And no you shouldnt change your tone either it is better this way because the serious tone tricks you and then the punchline is even funnier.
btw mark zealots cant mind control.
|
| #46 HKRules[77216] |
| c319144.extern.lawrenceville.org |
| Make this into a mini-series pls. |
| #47 [77232] |
| rliv106.infocom.com |
hehe blackadder...
I like it the way it is too. A little bit of fleshing out may have helped, but only a few minor details. Nothing major.
Thanks though... :)
Dref |
| #48 S!aVe[77380] |
| burr1.uwsp.edu |
what's a zealot?.... what's god.?... why are we here?.... what am i doing here?... ... ... why is anyone here?.... .
..... .. .. . . .. k.. .. . .. .. . .
. .. .... . .. .
. . .. . . . .... . . ...
no but seriously |
| #49 S!aVe[77381] |
| burr1.uwsp.edu |
| 8) |
| #50 Cearas[77391] |
| proxy-02.pe.iqnet.net.au |
| :P |
| #51 kindalikeurface[77411] |
| spider-wa063.proxy.aol.com |
lets see here for a sec....a gauss gun does 5 or 6 damage to a zealot that means a revoler would do like 1.....well anyways i was waiting for you to get your head ripped off.....but anyway kinda strange.
adios |
| #52 Twip[77419] |
| port-58.gall-ts1.cloh.net |
| I nearly gagged reading the prayers. lmao. |
| #53 SarcasticSage[77448] |
| 1Cust222.tnt2.daleville.al.da.uu.net |
<marquee> MORE LESBIANS! MORE LESBIANS! MORE LESBIANS!</marquee>
Only joking,
-SS |
| #54 TerranTurtle[77575] |
| modem-231.walden.fcc.net |
| Lukewarm comments and this incoherent rambling nonsense STILL got gold! |
| #55 TerranTurtle[77576] |
| modem-231.walden.fcc.net |
| BTW Dref why don't you masturbate at work when you're bored like everyone else? |
| #56 [77596] |
| rliv216.infocom.com |
Actually, there's a cute nurse on the 4th floor that works weekends. She comes up to the server room during her lunch break...
Dref |
| #57 Sil3nT[77661] |
| AKCF2.xtra.co.nz |
| Was Crap, You write like a 4 year old |
| #58 Juraveil[77678] |
| 216.115.160.20 |
| Great Job Dref! |
| #59 jimmy[127768] |
| 144.139.223.84 |
At first it was confusing, but when you described what was happening, it is now, at the very very veryx100000000000 worst, 8.0.
- jimmy |
| #60 [154000] |
| cable-24-158-230-168.mtv.al.charter.com |
| Heh, interesting, if a little confusing. I like the "zealot" irony, although the idea of a foolish human successfully catching a Protoss off guard annoys me(since they should be able to sense the humans' nearby thoughts) |
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