| #1 DivvyO[108932] |
| adsl-67-112-40-73.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net |
| whee |
| #2 [108933] |
| 12-248-243-247.client.attbi.com |
dont get the moral really, but interesting story i guess... hm...
5 |
| #3 George[108934] |
| h0010b59c54e2.ne.mediaone.net |
| Hm? It's quite simple really: The whole thing happened because he was mean and was thrown out of the restaurant and into the ally. In the ally he heard the voices. If he just exited the right way after eating and being a nice guest, that would never had happened. |
| #4 BigD[108936] |
| px2so.cg.shawcable.net |
| Why is this in the starcraft category? |
| #5 Serious[108937] |
| h24-86-132-53.ed.shawcable.net |
| Scary thought : br.com becomes a short-story hosting site. |
| #6 Keanu_Reaver[108940] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-227.sea.eschelon.com |
| report center online soon...plz... :( |
| #7 hmmm[108941] |
| px2cv.gv.shawcable.net |
| key word is "fanfic" this is not a fanfic it is a short story |
| #8 Keanu_Reaver[108942] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-227.sea.eschelon.com |
alright just read it, first of all, this should not be posted here, this is for bw and bw related games, not short stories
as for the story itself, pretty good, very nice imagery but the grammatical errors were impossible to ignore and stuck out like a sore thumb
-5-6 as a story
-1-2 cause its not an appropriate br |
| #9 KHiLL[108943] |
| ool-18b8a2a6.dyn.optonline.net |
| cool story though |
| #10 George[108944] |
| h0010b59c54e2.ne.mediaone.net |
| shoot, sorry =( Like i said I am knew here, i didn't see that I posted it in Starcraft heh...sorry |
| #11 stonecoldnewbie[108947] |
| 24.245.64.22 |
| sometimes i masturbate |
| #12 SiG.[108948] |
| host-216-77-220-59.fll.bellsouth.net |
'Twas an honest mistake :)
Your story was really great man, the action scenes and all were really told well.. Maybe next time you write a story, you will explain the scenery, that always helps to create a mental image of the main charachters surroundings..
Good story man :) |
| #13 funnymarx[108951] |
| dhcp085206.res-hall.nwu.edu |
I don't get it... where was george's chauffeur during that scuffle with the guys chasing him??
--funnymarx
"Oh, so I'd have to go through your room?" |
| #14 C'R'U'N'C'H'Y'M'A'K'E'R[108957] |
| ACB58709.ipt.aol.com |
| ? |
| #15 George[108964] |
| 24.128.190.210 |
| #13...since when was he driving a limo? He was on a motorcycle. |
| #16 |]agomar[108965] |
| Ottawa-ppp3517188.sympatico.ca |
| Your writing reminded me alot of my own! Which is either a good or a bad thing . . . since I like to write like that though, I'll have to like your text too :). The story was cool and well presented, some good showing rather than telling here ( Time is not ON YOUR SIDE, please read this . . . ). I'm going to give it a 6. |
| #17 George[108966] |
| 24.128.190.210 |
| Could you give it a 7 so its gold? =) And who is TIME is not ON YOUR SIDE? |
| #18 |]agomar[108968] |
| Ottawa-ppp3517188.sympatico.ca |
| sorry, had to take 1 off a 7 since it's not SC and still posted in the wrong section D;. Nobody really knows who TIME is, he just showed up one day and started posting bad fanfics, then complaining about their ratings on the forums =[. |
| #19 WTH[108969] |
| 65.64.77.182 |
| Time is not on your side is a jackass that won't shut up and has been posting shitty reports recently. Check out report listing to see his crap, but I wouldn't recommend it. Not to be mean or anything, but I don't think the raters like it when you ask for something higher than what you got. Nice story though. Next time make one about starcraft. |
| #20 George[108970] |
| 24.128.190.210 |
| Oh...=( I'm so sorry it was an accident...like I said I'm new here, but alright I guess. |
| #21 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[108971] |
| 24.128.190.210 |
"Your writing reminded me alot of my own! Which is either a good or a bad thing . . . since I like to write like that though, I'll have to like your text too :). The story was cool and well presented, some good showing rather than telling here ( Time is not ON YOUR SIDE, please read this . . . ). I'm going to give it a 6."
Oh, Dagomar, I love what you said about George...or...should I say...ME! Ahahhahahahahahahahahhahhaha! That's right! George=Time Time=George. Check the IP addresses foos! I knew if I posted that under my name it would get a 2 mwahahahahhahaha! So I cooked up this elaborate scheme of calling myself "George"! MWAHAHAHHAHA You were all fooled! So bow down to me, foolish mortals! Especially you, Dagomar! AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH "Time is not on your side, read this" Oh, oh, that's rich...I WROTE IT! |
| #22 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[108973] |
| 24.128.190.210 |
| Some other rater, give me an 8 for this elaborate scheme that fooed you all!!! MWAHHAHAHAHAH |
| #23 |]agomar[108976] |
| Ottawa-ppp3517188.sympatico.ca |
| Good writing tho . . . pretty pathetic you invented a smurf just to show how godly you are. In any case, you didnt actually "trap" me since this is a public comment section and Time - if he were a different person - could just as easily have seen what i wrote . . . ugh why am I spending time replying to you . . . ugh no pun intended. |
| #24 Amoeba_Boy[108978] |
| spider-wl024.proxy.aol.com |
Time, I proclaim thee King Retard of BR.com.
The reason this got a 6 was because it was better then your other crap. You elaborated and wrote in detail. Not cuz yiu were george |
| #25 WTH[108981] |
| 65.64.77.131 |
| Do you now understand why you don't flame people after they criticize you, dumbass. Man you have way too much free time too. |
| #26 Serious[108984] |
| h24-86-132-53.ed.shawcable.net |
| omfg you moron. |
| #27 ZerG~LinG[108993] |
| p405-029.ppp.get2net.dk |
| Ok, call me an ass but i've had enough of these fanfics, when there's over 50% of them in the 'latest reports' section, i dont read any of them, so sorry :( |
| #28 funnymarx[109044] |
| dhcp085206.res-hall.nwu.edu |
I cite line 14...
"[H]e stepped out of his sleek, red motorcycle".
This implies that he was in the side car of the motorcycle, and thus that he had someone else to drive him -- ie. a chauffeur.
--funnymarx
"I don't like junior crossing the tracks on the way to the reform school." |
| #29 NotDefault[109231] |
| h24-83-95-176.vs.shawcable.net |
OMG... not only is does the main character have your name, but it is somewhat auto-biographical.
George gets thrown out of a fancy restaurant for being a moron.
TINOYS would get thrown out (if that were possible) of a reasonably quality BR site because he is a moron.
Too bad you didn't pick up on the moral of your own story :(.
NotDefault |
| #30 Blitzkreig_[109288] |
| user-uini72g.dialup.mindspring.com |
| ouch.... |
| #31 Masturbating (Don't Bother Me)[109623] |
| spider-tf012.proxy.aol.com |
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo
8:::::::::::) |
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