| #1 AbsoluteGeneus[112492] |
| spider-wo043.proxy.aol.com |
1!
no paragaraphs burn eyes read later |
| #2 Keanu_Reaver[112493] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-47.sea.eschelon.com |
the complete lack of paragraphs turned me off to this, plus this lil dandy at the end
"Marine 104 later became the infamous Jim Raynor"
infamous = bad, jimmy was a good guy :(
4 |
| #3 AbsoluteGeneus[112494] |
| spider-ti041.proxy.aol.com |
LoL He rites goodly.
It doesn't take too much too look up a word in the dictionary, or use a f*in break in HTML. Paragraphs would have made this readable. |
| #4 Hey i liked it[112495] |
| h24-81-170-57.cg.shawcable.net |
| paragraphs are just a html thing. i thought it was a good story |
| #5 Jekpo![112496] |
| c216-45-83-226.md1.cablespeed.com |
Sucks =P
1 |
| #6 Psyonic_Reaver[112497] |
| 1Cust21.tnt1.bend.or.da.uu.net |
| Right.......................... |
| #7 BigD[112498] |
| px2so.cg.shawcable.net |
| Formatting anyone? |
| #8 NotDefault[112500] |
| h24-83-95-176.vs.shawcable.net |
No way I am going to read this.
1
NotDefault |
| #9 AbsoluteGeneus[112502] |
| spider-ti041.proxy.aol.com |
Hate to further hammer the nail into the coffin, but I'm guessing Raynor is young here? But wasn't he already a marshall when the Terran race spotted the Zerg? So, is story NOT supposed to follow the Blizzard storyline? Cuz im confused. 0.0
BTW, lurkers didn't exist until the Brood Wars. Or maybe I'm looking too into this cuz I have nothing else to do.. |
| #10 [112504] |
| ppp-206-170-3-45.okld03.pacbell.net |
| not too bad... but paragraphs would help a lot |
| #11 Sexy^Orangutang[112507] |
| 12-234-99-99.client.attbi.com |
i dont read fanfics anymore
its kinda sad cause there have been about 10 reports posted in the last week with seven of them fanfics whereas a year ago there were about 10 a day with a fan fic once in a while. This site will go byebye if peeps dont start postin more actual brs. |
| #12 psychochild[112508] |
| slip-32-102-200-179.fl.us.prserv.net |
| Ummm, inbetween <> you put the letter "p" so it looks like <p>. I saw many <> where paragraphs shoulda been. Just wanted to help ya a bit. I won't bother to read though. Black Text on White Background = Nothx. I can barely see as is, let alone two inches away from the monitor burning the images forever into my eyes. Also, you might wanna get a SN. Thats all my ranting for today. |
| #13 Adrenaling[112514] |
| 24.156.202.174 |
| sexy^orangutang: i got one coming. but it sux. =[ |
| #14 triped[112516] |
| 63.85.132.17 |
| The problem is not so much with this horribly written, out-of-place fanfic, but with the fanfic-loving idiots that bother to critique this shit. |
| #15 god[112519] |
| c-24-245-64-22.mn.client2.attbi.com |
horrible, just horrible
die fanfics |
| #16 [112521] |
| h24-83-95-176.vs.shawcable.net |
Paragraphs alone would not save this. Going by the <> markings, here is the first paragraph edited to make it more readable:
"The Story of the Lone Marine
======================
Marine no. 104 suddenly awoke. Gripping his gauss rifle in cold sweat, his instincts became alert. He lay down, feigning death, while listening to the sound of something that was approaching him. He quickly spotted a 15 foot Hydralisk coming towards him; the formidable zerg predator was obviously scavenging for survivors. Turning off all lights on his suit, #104 held his breath as the towering beast stood over him. |
| #17 NotDefault[112522] |
| h24-83-95-176.vs.shawcable.net |
Feeling its hot breath penetrating his steel armor, he knew then that he was dead, yet suddenly something in the back of his head clicked. Turning on his gauss rifle, he shot the hydralisk in the place where he knew it would hurt the most: the tail. Bullets turned from gray to red as the hydralisk fell to the ground, a surprised expression forever frozen on its face. Marine 104 hobbled behind a tree as he recalled the events of the past few days."
Look how much more readable that makes it already. Not much more, but I'd be more inclined to read my edited version than the original.
NotDefault |
| #18 Ling-erie[112526] |
| proxy3.leeds.ac.uk |
| you're all idiots, that was good |
| #19 Puma[112527] |
| e1h3p12.scotland.net |
I didn't honestly think it was so bad. Fan Fics have been over-used of late and the no paragraph thing was a problem. But the story was pretty good.
=) 4 |
| #20 ZerG~LinG[112560] |
| p427-051.ppp.get2net.dk |
| The story is good, but it was hard to read cuz of the obvious lack of p's |
| #21 MatriX[112565] |
| h000094c60a57.ne.client2.attbi.com |
I read about half of it, it was good
but im sorry, i cant read stuff without paragraphs
turning the no-<br>-tags-needed thing on is sex |
| #22 [112572] |
| h000094c60a57.ne.client2.attbi.com |
| btw -1 for being on bgh :D |
| #23 Amoeba_Boy[112592] |
| spider-tm083.proxy.aol.com |
I wouldve read it, but that my eyes hurt cuz of no paragraphs
Orangutang, get off your lazy ass and write some BRs if you want to read them, dont just bitch like a 4 year old |
| #24 |||l||||ll|||||[112596] |
| cdm-66-5-18-tylr.cox-internet.com |
| that was a single fucking paragraph |
| #25 IcE-Inforcer[112597] |
| proxy.ia2.marketscore.com |
Hey, this was good. And plz people, if you dont write br's dont fucking cry if people post fan fics and you want br's.
This guy is better than me, I should teach him my crappy HTML and he could make some pretty good shit.
:), write some more, just make it a bit more original. |
| #26 Amoeba_Boy[112600] |
| spider-tm083.proxy.aol.com |
| A use paragraphs |
| #27 CaughtNaked[112623] |
| pcp831326pcs.nrockv01.md.comcast.net |
| get new name |
| #28 striz[112723] |
| CPE00a0cc2d2b10.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
complete lack of para = hurt eyes. no fun. I only read 1st 5-6 lines, and it already seemed like a spinoff of that Dref Marine fic. which was good.
1 |
| #29 Sl1pKn0t`]U[[113571] |
| AC8F6E13.ipt.aol.com |
| Yea, hurt the eyes, but it was interesting so i read it through. Learn HTML and come back with better fanfics, as well as actual BR's. Well, that was the only fanfics I ever actually liked. I need to go outside now, my eyes hurt : ( |
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
