| #1 Kane[118858] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| I made the final revisions at 11:45 tonight (just in time for the end of Sunday) and I have a really bad sore throat which makes it hard to concentrate, so I probably made some mistakes. Point em out if you see any. |
| #2 RockForce[118861] |
| spider-mtc-tf074.proxy.aol.com |
| 1st non-author =D |
| #3 Black_Abyss[118862] |
| 03-025.057.popsite.net |
1st non-author
Ultra sexy, like all the others, keep it up. |
| #4 Black_Abyss[118863] |
| 03-025.057.popsite.net |
Ah, damn you RockForce!
2nd non-author =o |
| #5 RockForce[118864] |
| spider-mtc-tf074.proxy.aol.com |
| rofl, =P |
| #6 vincible[118865] |
| roam155-218.student.harvard.edu |
Not as good as your previous parts but this is largely because your previous ones were damn good. The conversations between the creature and Gerard were filled with cliches, which I realize may have been deliberate but which bothered me nonetheless. Lots and lots of stuff to like though, and lots to wonder about. I especially enjoyed your depiction of Travesdain.
How long are you planning on making this? |
| #7 ruski[118870] |
| proxy.txc.net.au |
| yay im 3rd ^^ |
| #8 Ruski[118871] |
| proxy.txc.net.au |
it was good but the thing about the cerature i thought was pretty crap
i didnt like the bit when he was smashing the creature around, if this craeture could knock down the door of the ship i dont think it could have been flung around as much.
anyway its a good story i would have given it a 7 |
| #9 Greg The Bunny[118876] |
| 66-144-56-204.inv.treca.org |
| 5th Non-Author... highest ever for me. Good report, solid writing. 7 |
| #10 elemental(i2)[118878] |
| 63.124.219.2 |
| 11th |
| #11 ThePalisade[118880] |
| 170.158.213.70 |
| Ruski, I believe the point Kane was making that Gerard is strong...and vincible, there were no cliches. Just repeats of other fantasy novels' dialogue. On the whole, this series has been an enjoyable experience. Keep it up. |
| #12 Kane[118882] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| Yeah, i wasn't feeling too good when i finalized this, which probably impared my writing judgement |
| #13 DarkRider[118891] |
| 198.134.2.2 |
nice as always
I hope Kane lives long enough to complete this lol. |
| #14 Kane[118892] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| Someone said that about Robert Jordan |
| #15 vincible[118910] |
| roam155-218.student.harvard.edu |
| Palisade, you wrote, "there were no cliches. Just repeats of other fantasy novels' dialogue." I hope you were joking with that line. If not, refer to any dictionary for a definition of "cliche." Sheesh. |
| #16 PooHandler[118912] |
| adsl-34-78-54.mia.bellsouth.net |
Awsome. Simply awsome. This series fuckin rocks. You are an excellent writer indeed, and have a natural talent. No complaints from me. Keep up the good work.
-PH |
| #17 Redemption6[118913] |
| cache-1.sbo.ma.webcache.rcn.net |
| nice but kinda b0ring at some parts :( as vincible said, not as good as your other ones, but good. 7-8 but not a 9 this time :. |
#18 [118925] |
| St-Catherines-ppp112461.sympatico.ca |
| This was quite good, but not as good as your previous attempts. I agree completely with vincible also ;). I'd say 7.4. |
| #19 adrenaling[118927] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| poor kanes rookmark is back down to 8.0000. =[ |
| #20 Black_Abyss[118947] |
| 01-130.057.popsite.net |
| Well at least he's on the top 50 rookmark now. :O |
| #21 IcE-Dark_Lord[119010] |
| 209.105.210.34 |
| very nice work! |
| #22 WTH[119145] |
| 65.64.77.190 |
| Who is ben in the first paragraph. |
| #23 Kane[119161] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
Ben is a bug in the matrix, he has "ben" deleted
ahahahha i kill me |