| #1 plus2longsword[120693] |
| asc3-ip70-grr.wmis.net |
| It works! sorry for that other one. =0) |
| #2 hi[120694] |
| ool-18b8ee8c.dyn.optonline.net |
| i saw that flash of a pic in the moving screen shot : ) |
| #3 plus2longsword[120696] |
| asc3-ip70-grr.wmis.net |
| ..I made that a little to slow..hehe, hope I don't get banned! |
| #4 King Tuth[120697] |
| p14229226.net.upc.nl |
| Second (excluding the writer himself of course). Good Br |
| #5 Squad[120698] |
| h0008a1036612.ne.client2.attbi.com |
hax
totel hax... |
| #6 Oddity[120699] |
| h24-66-246-99.ss.shawcable.net |
i would've called you the winner since you had attack units remaining and he didnt
but whatever... |
#7  [120700] |
| 12-222-61-61.client.insightBB.com |
| Why would an overlord by hunting rabbits? There are no rabbits in Starcraft. |
| #8 NobodyBeatsMe[120701] |
| 64.39.185.143 |
| Is it just me, or did I see a penis in that report. |
| #9 Amoeba_Boy[120702] |
| spider-wa062.proxy.aol.com |
| someone just saw fight club |
| #10 Amoeba_Boy[120703] |
| spider-wa062.proxy.aol.com |
| ok, just read it, pretty good. It was a little short but still a good report. My only problem is you realeased the two parts so far apart from each other, so I had to go back to the first one and a read it a little bit to figure out what had happened. |
| #11 ILSC[120704] |
| 24-241-187-40.hsacorp.net |
the gif was sexy
humor so-so
pics decent to nice
writing par
7
gw |
| #12 ILSC[120705] |
| 24-241-187-40.hsacorp.net |
eeeeeEEEEeeew
except the penis, i just noticed that
5 |
| #13 mattzarella[120706] |
| spider-tr083.proxy.aol.com |
this report was terrible.
your humor was tasteless, your writing hard to follow and chock full of grammar mistakes, plus, the pictures were bland and boring (the border color was awful, too).
not much to say about this, except it sucks. |
| #14 OmegaPoint[120708] |
| id-coeurdalene1a-197.cdalid.adelphia.net |
#13 Its a lot easier to criticize than to help someone improve. You seem to take the lazy way out every br.
I would definately suggest putting your next two part br closer together so people will remember what took place in the first half of the game. Also your description of the game was good, but you need to work on the humor a little bit. Don't force it. Strangely the text color worked for me as well. I anticipated this as being difficult to read but the light blue ended up mixing fairly well with the black.
I'd say 6 just because you are limited in what you can report in this small remainder of a game.
|
| #15 OmegaPoint[120709] |
| id-coeurdalene1a-197.cdalid.adelphia.net |
| No more animated GIF's for you, ever... |
| #16 Rei[120712] |
| def-dial135.dfsi.net |
Yeah, the flash of the penis in the animated gif, that was uncalled for.. : P
Other than that, I have no comment....
.... Never ever again..
....Never. |
| #17 RudyJustFailed[120713] |
| spider-ntc-tc081.proxy.aol.com |
| Great Palahniuk/Andy Kevin Walker quotes from a great movie, BTW. |
| #18 titans-thesoby[120733] |
| d-207-5-252-62.s-way.com |
| good... yet much room for improvement. |
| #19 TeddyOfDoom[120741] |
| spider-tm043.proxy.aol.com |
| AHHHH! MY EYES! It burns! |
| #20 Metamucil[120749] |
| CPE014060001930.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
its from fight club
u need to make the flash a lot shorter
:D |
| #21 IcE-Dark_Lord[120751] |
| 29.PPP.NBY1.ENOREO.ON.CA |
| thats was not cool, my boner ran away, thanx alot :( my virgin eyes have been soiled. you basterd. lol gw |
| #22 Metamucil[120761] |
| CPE014060001930.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
at least hes posting something
its been so dead lately |
| #23 mattzarella[120764] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
alright, OmegaPoint, you want constructive commentary?
here we go.
The color scheme you used was awkward - i suggest a red border, or, factoring the background color, even a black one will do (you really have two choices - you can have a suttle, well refined border, such as black, or an agressive type of border, which would be more protrosive and stands out well [red] .)
It's been expressed over and over again, but nobody seems to understand what proofreading is, either by yourself or a different party. Your frequent grammar mistakes make the reader simply want to stop looking at your battlereport out of sheer disgust for your abundance of (quite simple and fixable) errors.
|
| #24 mattzarella (cont.)[120765] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
It may seem a bit frightening for modem users (such as myself, as of right now) to hear me say this, but it has to be said - your pictures need to be much larger. USE COLLAGES! Putting your screenshots together makes for a)fewer pictures to load, and b)less stress on the eye, if the collages flow well together and are not complimented by ugly colors.
Lastly, your sense of humor disturbs me. All of your jokes and wit were forced, and awkward. They make the reading unpleasant and even disrupt the flow on occasion. The picture of the penis only bothered me because it wasn't really used for anything, only thrown in at the end of the animation (for instance, a picture of gay pornography thrown in at the end of a gif containing t_mac would be much more appropriate).
I'm very glad this didn't recieve gold, because it was horrid. The next time you post, make it better. =[ |
| #25 mattzarella (cont. 2)[120766] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
| fuck you for assuming, omegapoint. i hope you feel like an ass. |
| #26 mattzarella (cont. 3)[120768] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
some additional points i forgot to make:
I just now noticed that about 1/3 of the entire context of your report is a story about ladder hacking. I suppose you thought this was funny/entertaining, but all it really did was suck my attention somewhere else (like the animation, which was actually quite decent minus said penis).
So now this report is far too short. The game was mildly impressive, i won't put you down for that - though you could do better. Remember that the general idea is quality over quanity, though some beg to differ.
I will now comment on the FIRST report. |
| #27 mattzarella[120770] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
alright:
The first report didn't differ that much from the first. Your color scheme was much more impressive - however - half of the text was, again, taken up with meaningless rambling (the beginning of your report lasted half of the page).
You made a few futile attempts at humor, all which fell short of the supposed target (whatever you were aiming for, i really don't know) and failed to give me even a chuckle. You had no alt text in the first report, and in the second report it was just quotes. Perhaps you're missing the point here, or maybe i am, but i do believe alt texts were supposed to be funny. Next time, try that.
|
| #28 mattzarella (cont. 2, part 2)[120771] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
In both reports, though, your major downfall was that you lacked description. It was all very straightforward, but not in a good way - in no place did i feel you go out of your way to please us, the readers.
Yes, you should have combined these two reports. The split was truly unneccesary, seing as your report was a very small fraction of the limit (is it still 64k?). All in all, i didn't find this remotely entertaining. Here is a list of suggestions for next time, in case you're a lazy sonofabitch and skipped all my hard work above. |
| #29 OmegaPoint[120772] |
| id-coeurdalene1a-197.cdalid.adelphia.net |
| Lol, actually I don't feel like much of an ass since you wouldn't have gone to the trouble had I not called you on it. Good pointers though. |
| #30 mattzarella (cont. 3, part 2)[120773] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
1) Make borders refined/stand out
2) Proofread yourself or get someone else to (i'm free for the next month at user8889@aol.com)
3) Don't put meaningless anicdotes of your bnet experience to try and humor us. Fill up that space with something that's worth it - did you include a build order in either of the reports? I don't remember one =/
|
| #31 mattzarella (cont. 4, part 2)[120774] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
4) Feel free to use your own style of humor, but don't make it so tasteless it disgusts people. Like i said, a picture of a penis can be put to good use if the situation is right - but not in this case.
5) Try to ELABORATE on every little vital part of the game. The hydra drop didn't get enough description put towards it, in my opinion - in fact, nothing did. Try citizenkane's first chapter in his series for an example for great, detailed and informative description. Remember, a person who proofreads should know a bit more about spelling/grammar than your average Joe, so don't be afraid to use words you don't know how to spell. (and don't forget your lunch little johnny i packed you an apple today and your favorite sandwich and if that bad boy bullies you today at school tell him that your mommy said to stop) |
| #32 mattzarella (cont. 5, part 2)[120775] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
6) Observing a game is much easier to report on, because you can take screenshots of text (and your opinion is not biased, as it would be if you played in the game yourself). This is just an opinion, however, and not to be taken very seriously.
hope it helped, and if it didn't, i hope you die a terrible death
:( |
| #33 mattzarella[120776] |
| spider-th063.proxy.aol.com |
there i pushed you over 30 you ignorant fuck
omegapoint - i'm so tired now =_= |
| #34 OmegaPoint[120789] |
| id-coeurdalene1a-197.cdalid.adelphia.net |
| Hehe well that was a great series of suggestions. Now that I think of it I cant blame you too much for not wanting to write to that extreme. |
| #35 Amoeba_Boy[120793] |
| spider-tm082.proxy.aol.com |
| theres no way anyones gonna read all that crap matt |
| #36 mattzarella[120795] |
| spider-wm082.proxy.aol.com |
| we can only hope that the author reads it :O |
| #37 QuothTheRaven[120797] |
| 180-30-189-66.wo.cpe.charter-ne.com |
10.
There was penis. |
| #38 plus2longsword[120805] |
| asc8-grr-ip018.wmis.net |
There are a lot of things I could tell mattzarella, but I decided this pretty much sums it up...
Cry, if you want to cry
If it helps you see
If it clears your eyes
Hate, if you want to hate
If it keeps you safe
If it makes you brave
Pray, if you want to pray
If you like to kneel
If you like to lay
Don't come over here
And piss on my gate
Save it just keep it
Off my wave
My wave |
#39  [120811] |
| StCatherines-ppp109244.sympatico.ca |
your mom.
6. |
| #40 Get a clue[120812] |
| spider-th014.proxy.aol.com |
| Longsword just listen to matt so we don't have to read a piss poor report next time. =/ |
| #41 mattzarella[120814] |
| spider-wg084.proxy.aol.com |
Not many things aggrivate me. However, today i was both angered and shocked at the reply you posted in response to my seven posts of comments.
When someone posts so much work with a mindset on assistance to the author, it is at least expected that said author says, at the very least, thank you. Your sheer disregard for my constructive commentary - aimed to HELP - is disgusting.
Criticism is all a part of commentary, designed to help someone. No offense to any br.comers, but do you think we get anywhere if someone is as simple-minded to say "good job", and nothing more? No. The only way anything can get through to someone is to criticise - point out the bad, and put emphasis on it, elaborate the problem so it can be weeded out.
|
| #42 mattzarella (cont.)[120815] |
| spider-wg084.proxy.aol.com |
But when you blatantly shunned away my constructive criticisms, i was shocked. I truly hope that you are not in anyway similar to this in real life - if so, i pity you sincerely. If you take for granted all help directed towards you, you'll get nowhere in life. After all, you can't learn from your mistakes if someone doesn't point out that they're there.
If this is an issue of pride, so be it. You will continue to post mediocre and unchanged reports until it finally comes to you to either pay attention to comments, or you pick it up from reading other reports. I do hope that it will be the former, because the latter will not be a style of your own.
|
| #43 mattzarella (cont. 2)[120816] |
| spider-wg084.proxy.aol.com |
I hope you also know that, while my offer to proofread future reports still stands, and my email remains unchanged (user8889@aol.com), i do think less of you. I will be wary henceforth of anything i post to you, as you may shun it away like a mosquito drilling its blood-sucking tool into your skin (hopefully injecting malaria). I congratulate you for truly shocking me.
On the flipside, perhaps i was a bit harsh with my earlier "this report sucked". That was a childish statement, and i regret it fully. However, this does NOT mean you have the right to put me down when i work very hard in helping you. YOU are the one out of line here, my friend, and i will not stoop any lower than i already have to grovel and apologize. |
| #44 mattzarella[120817] |
| spider-wg084.proxy.aol.com |
At least OmegaPoint was truly wise enough to accept my comments, and even compliment me on them when he was the very last person i expected to do so.
I at least hope you did not read my first post, assume i was a flamer, and not read anything else. That would be even worse.
I pity you. |
| #45 Keanu_Reaver[120819] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-211.sea.eschelon.com |
| If you cant accept constructive criticism then you dont deserve to write anything or post anything on this site, go away. |
| #46 plus2longsword[120822] |
| asc8-grr-ip015.wmis.net |
| It wasn't constructive..at all..did you even read what he put? |
| #47 plus2longsword[120823] |
| asc8-grr-ip015.wmis.net |
I was always under the impression that "constructive" meant well thought out point by point analysis of what someone did wrong. mattzarella just shot of everything that was wrong, like an ultratanistic fool. Since this got a six, it makes me wonder what he would suggest for someone who gets a five, or four..and so on. Here is one example...Your frequent grammar mistakes make the reader simply want to stop looking at your battlereport out of sheer disgust for your abundance of (quite simple and fixable) errors.
This doesn't sound constructive..it sounds like he is just trying to emphasize how bad he thought it was, rather than help me, it also doesn't make sense to me...they were "simple and fixable" yet you can't stand to look at them? I really feel little need to read what this person has to write to me, and therefore, won't. |
| #48 apos'trophe[120824] |
| adsl-63-200-51-170.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
I'm shocking myself by siding with mattzarella. His grammar thing was saying you should spen more time proofreading and stuff. I too find it very annoying when there are a lot of spelling/grammar mistakes. His criticism was constructive and it would do you a lot of good to read them and heed them.
p.s. Your first two reports were really good. I think they were extremely well done. Plz go back to that style. |
| #49 Cataclysmic[120826] |
| ce-crbk-01-02.cbl.nf.net |
GW Matt, I read it all, and will keep it in mind if i ever do a BR, even if this jerk of an author wont.
I thought it was OK till i read your comments, author. Now i just dont give a shit about anything coming under your name. |
| #50 ZerG~LinG[120832] |
| p411-060.ppp.get2net.dk |
Wow, ½ the comments are mattz :O
Im not even gonna comment on that :(
Anyway the br was not exactly good, tho it had its moments. Don't do 2 br's on the same game so far apart.
The penis thing, and the weird postcard was just needless :] Better postcards plz (or whatever it was).
And since noone commented on the Star Wars thing, go to google and seach "star wars logo" in the pictures section. Otherwise go to some fan site.
The text fading away can be easily done in flash, catch me on b.net and ask politely and I'll prolly do it :] |
| #51 Keanu_Reaver[120833] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-3.sea.eschelon.com |
First of all, I talked to Matt about this on AIM so dont tell me what he was or what he was doing. Infact I thought he did such a good job of critiquing it that I (having got 7's and 8's on every one of my fan fics) could benefit from it highly, so much so that I even asked him to proof read my new story that I'm working on right now.
"Your frequent grammar mistakes make the reader simply want to stop looking at your battlereport out of sheer disgust for your abundance of (quite simple and fixable) errors." Ok now im just lost, you dont know what this means? Are you stupid? Here let me show you what it means..."HALP MEH I CNAT FIDN TEH EXPO" now would you want to read a report like that? And I guarantee you it wouldnt take me any more then 30 seconds to fix it.
|
| #52 Keanu_Reaver (cont. 1)[120834] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-3.sea.eschelon.com |
"I was always under the impression that "constructive" meant well thought out point by point analysis of what someone did wrong. mattzarella just shot of everything that was wrong, like an ultratanistic fool."
What the hell are you trying to say? That, even though he pointed out all of your mistakes in a mediocre (giving it some credit) report, since he didnt do it all nicely and sugar coat it that you're above it and don't have to listen to it? ...And you call HIM the fool? God you're a fucking hypocrite if I've ever seen one. |
| #53 Keanu_Reaver (cont. 2)[120835] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-3.sea.eschelon.com |
"Since this got a six, it makes me wonder what he would suggest for someone who gets a five, or four..and so on."
Thats your defense? Did you ever think that maybe he WOULDN'T say anything? That MAYBE he sees something that I dont...and thats a small little glimmer of talent? He told me on AIM that he was actually upset with how ungrateful you are, that he would type out something so long in an attempt to help you and you just pass it off like you're to good for his criticism. You don't deserve to be a battlereporter and to me, your name is synonimous with spam. Because of your egotistical and ungrateful attitude, you (as a battle reporter) are worthless. |
| #54 vincible[120836] |
| 1Cust126.tnt17.sfo8.da.uu.net |
Matt did NOT do a good job of critiquing it and I don't know why everyone says so. Read his critique, it's horribly repetitive. This is why longsword is upset. If someone says the humor in your report is bad, well fine. If he says it FOUR times in four different comments, though, then the author naturally gets a little defensive and begins to suspect that the critic is out to get him.
Don't get me wrong, I think mattzarella is correct on most points. But really, you ought to organize your thoughts a bit more before you write a long critique like this. OTOH, longsword ought to have been more gracious. |
| #55 vincible[120837] |
| 1Cust126.tnt17.sfo8.da.uu.net |
| So anyway, there's my critique of the critique. I would now critique longsword himself but it seems like everyone else has beaten me to it. |
| #56 mattzarella (cont. 2)[120841] |
| spider-wg073.proxy.aol.com |
In addition, i agree with vincible 100%. After rereading my bundle of comments, i realized that it was repetitive and monotonous, and all in all, not the best of things to shove at an author. But, i feel that i made some key points that are vital for a pleasing read, and i still retain my opinion that i was none too abusive.
Critics will always be out to get you. Read any of the comments in your local newspaper, and you'll find out the reason i say it. I can't express it enough, again and again, that you can't expect me to put it so lightly. I tried to help you, and apparently i have failed.
On the flipside, thank you to all those that are standing behind me, and i also thank vincible, for pointing out my mistakes. Next time i comment, i will be more thorough and to the point. |
| #57 Amoeba_Boy[120842] |
| spider-wm051.proxy.aol.com |
| thank you matt |
| #58 plus2longsword[120848] |
| asc8-grr-ip079.wmis.net |
| I haven't read anything mattzarella, and I stopped reading what Keanu_Reaver wrote when he couldn't stop sucking mattarella's dick. They seem to be friends..or even the same person. This was a bad report for all of you out there, I don't need you telling me. Perhaps I should let you all in on a little secret, I don't do this for you, I do this for me. I am capable of good reports, some of you know that. If you realized that you might think, hey wait, maybe he is not trying to make and awesome report, maybe doing something else. Mattzarella's comments were stupid. Ever had a teacher, or professor tell you at the end of your homework that you were an ignorant fuck, or that you should die a terrible death? Are you serious?I'm s'posed to be responsive to this? |
| #59 Matt[120852] |
| alb-66-66-246-117.nycap.rr.com |
| What the hell. There are not supposed to be penises in battle reports. |
| #60 Keanu_Reaver[120856] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-50.sea.eschelon.com |
| if you do this for yourself, then go make your own site and post your battle reports there |
| #61 mattzarella[120919] |
| cache-mtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
well since i can immediately disprove half the things you just said i won't even bother with actually typing this out
keanu and i are indeed friends (wow what does it matter) and not the same person, i wouldn't stoop to that level
when i said you should "die a terrible death" or are an "ignorant fuck" i was OBVIOUSLY joking. if you can't tell that i was, maybe you are indeed the latter
and you're pretty much like every other person who posts on this site - you'll never get anywhere because you don't give your all, which in my opinion is pointless. you're obviously scrambling for defenses to retain your pride, as of now
|
| #62 Redemption6[120924] |
| pc3431.bates.edu |
| not half as decent as ur other reports. |
| #63 mick[121049] |
| 1Cust28.tnt8.bne1.da.uu.net |
| pics of nude men are bm |
| #64 vincible[121057] |
| 1Cust150.tnt17.sfo8.da.uu.net |
| And in spite of the impression perhaps left by my previous comments, Mattzarella ought to be thanked greatly for his criticism... |
| #65 DoobieSnacks[121073] |
| c-66-56-1-156.atl.client2.attbi.com |
Matt dont waste ur time, he's undeserving.
p2LS even if u dont mean it, at least say thanx in appreciation of the amount of effort and time matt spent on ur ungrateful ass.
6 until i read comments
2 - so bm. |
| #66 Keanu_Reaver[121097] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-92.sea.eschelon.com |
| thank you vincible and doobie...thats my point :( even if mattz comments were harsh (which they were, but hey...we cant all be perfect little saints) the fact remains that if this kid that wrote the br would learn from the criticism...he would raise his rating from a 6 to a 9 pretty easily :/ |
| #67 mattzarella[121111] |
| cache-mtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
| they were supposed to be harsh dumbass |
| #68 apos'trophe[121197] |
| adsl-63-200-51-170.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| On a different note, even tho plus2longswords probably isn't reading any of the comments anymore, plus, please go back to your first style of writing. That was *so* much better than this. |
| #69 CrackHeadJeb[125978] |
| alteon-pcc2.iats.missouri.edu |
Yeah, I really like plus2longsword's general writing style. Even though this wasn't gold-worthy, still it sets itself apart from the hordes of cookie-cutter reports.
Please write another report.
-CHJ |
| #70 RabidChicken[134387] |
| ip-pa-jtown-24-159-011-068.charterpa.com |
| I saw the flash of the penis ( : .......good BR, one question though. Do Overlords actullay fart? And, if an Overlord is hunting rabbits (if theres no rabbits in Starcraft) anyway, what would an Overlord hunt the rabbits with? lol |
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