| #1 NotJim[138659] |
| 144.139.223.10 |
| Hope you enjoy this as usual. I kinda rushed to finish this, so, yeah. |
| #2 scn[138661] |
| c-24-118-251-103.mn.client2.attbi.com |
| hi |
| #3 NotJim[138662] |
| 144.139.223.10 |
| hello |
| #4 Olle[138667] |
| 212.209.45.2 |
| Nice ending =) |
| #5 2Cautious[138672] |
| adsl-68-72-170-2.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net |
Pretty good, although pix would be nice. Oh, strategical note: I believe that casting d-matrix on a cloaked unit reveals it, soooo... but you prolly knew that, anyway.
7-8 |
| #6 Ender[138676] |
| 128.226.160.69 |
| uh... no comment.. |
| #7 ScotTt[138677] |
| 128warp179.newtel.com |
Good effort Jim
Bye,
Me |
| #8 endersshadow[138678] |
| ool-182d2de6.dyn.optonline.net |
| i like the new format. |
| #9 ScotTt[138719] |
| 128warp179.newtel.com |
| The fact that this is getting no comments is really upsetting, seeing how the reports was a decent one, and on SC. |
| #10 LameJoker[138725] |
| pool-129-44-10-179.alb.east.verizon.net |
good job, your battle descriptions were fantastic. You really made it sound like this huge, epic battle. My only complaint I can remember is that you used the word 'hammer' one too many times.
O ya, why did you pump gollies like a madman if you could've gotten wraiths just as easily? |
| #11 NotJim[138791] |
| dialup-29.110.221.203.acc04-nort-cbr.comindico.com.au |
#4 - hehe.
#5 - yeah. Yeah, I know, but I don't care :)
#7 - thanx
#8 - okay then . I'll use it on my later reports :)
#9 thanks.
#10 - thanks. I don't know why I pumped gollies, because im a dumbass (hint hint, goliath AI)
yay, another gold. |
| #12 Airpalne_steel[138803] |
| dialup-64.154.75.229.Dial1.NewYork1.Level3.net |
| u sucks! u are teh suxQ! |
| #13 Sabotage[138825] |
| pool-68-161-56-161.ny325.east.verizon.net |
hey jim. GG NICE REPORT. lol a long line of ones. gay. Jim this is mad good but im pissed that there are no pics. otherwise,
cool. |
| #14 NotJim[138837] |
| prx3.act.schools.net.au |
Airplane =die
Sabo, thanx |
| #15 Sabotage[138843] |
| pool-68-161-56-161.ny325.east.verizon.net |
dammit how did this get less comments than that other crap!
damn. you'll get more jim i think. |
| #16 NotJim[138865] |
| prx3.act.schools.net.au |
Yeah. I'm jealous of you cause you are lucky. I'm very unlucky :(
You get lotsa feedback, I GET VERY LITTLE! :'( |
| #17 {DD}Fatboy[138869] |
| adsl-66-124-232-217.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| Good shit, keep em coming! |
| #18 Drintr[138885] |
| 207.168-60-66-nokia-dsl.dhcp.surewest.net |
Alright, since you seem to be in desire of more comments, I'll give you some constructive criticism for your next battlereport. Hopefully with the right fixes you'll find that more people will read/comment on your reports. But first off...
The Good:
Nice background
Decent game
Your writing shows interest in the game = good thing
The Bad (Constructive Criticism)
Tense Shifts!!! In many of your sentences you switch from past tense to present tense, and then back again. That is annoying! It destroys the flow of your report... don't do it!
Annoying flow. Some parts of the report are hard to follow because you don't include necessary details, or perhaps don't emphasize them enough. You'll find that the difference between a good report and great report is the flow. I'd suggest you look at some of CBs, Drefsabs, any "10" report to get an idea on how a writer can create good text flow.
Other than that, good br!
Peace and Love,
Drintr |
| #19 NotJim[138954] |
| prx3.act.schools.net.au |
Fatboy: Thanks!
Drintr: Thanks much. I have been reading the greats.
My english teacher tells me I have this problem :(
Oh well, hope to improve. Thanks! |
#20  [138984] |
| mu-197049.dhcp.missouri.edu |
The lettering idea is okay, but you're using it like a crutch in my opinion. Even on a symmetrical map like that, I still had to stop and process where the action was occuring occasionally. In ~CB~'s reports, if I remember right, he referred to letters less and either described in words where the action was happening or included a minimap.
On the positive side, your writing was fairly engaging and detailed. I'll give you an 8.
-CHJ
|
| #21 ZerG~LinG[139002] |
| p450-15.ppp.get2net.dk |
Hey! This is pretty nice actually, only had time to read it just now. The lack of pics didn't really matter than much as your writing was pretty decent :)
Like CHJ said, lettering is so-so. I always end up just reading it through without stopping to look at minimaps and such. It's not really the main thing.
Nice job!
8 |
| #22 PocketMarxist[139006] |
| mnet-baca244-13-199.monarch.net |
mmm decent enough but, in a text only try and split up the text with something, be it funny quotes or irrelevant pictures, it helps make the report easier on the eyes.
writing was fairly soso, as was the game, but this report was decent enough and we havent had many real reports in so long
7.0-7.5 |
| #23 Sabotage[139158] |
| pool-68-161-57-7.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| teh last |
| #24 LurkerBurger7[139263] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| sup jim. nice br. jesus, i have to learn how to be more neat |
| #25 Sabotage[139529] |
| pool-68-161-64-46.ny325.east.verizon.net |
last
oh i play us east
name: Sabotage_
(haha i posted last on every report.) |
| #26 NotJim[139681] |
| 144.139.221.1 |
hey lurker!
and im last.
Thanks Sabo :) |
| #27 Sabotage[139796] |
| pool-68-161-64-46.ny325.east.verizon.net |
what you mean thanks? this is a grueling fight over last!
:) |
| #28 NotJim[140035] |
| 144.139.221.112 |
| Last! |
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
