| #1 BiGRooStER[139565] |
| pcp02936415pcs.dalect01.va.comcast.net |
| can we say1st |
| #2 2Cautious[139567] |
| adsl-68-72-93-163.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net |
| Needs paragraphs... otherwise OK, although a little short. =/ |
| #3 Slotham[139568] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
| Nice, I like your writing style. Needs to be longer though, I want more!! |
| #4 Psyonic_Reaver[139569] |
| 0-2pool2-12.nas3.portland1.or.us.da.qwest.net |
I liked it...But your character names sucked. James Kim? Who would name their kid that?
Good story but I didnt understand what they were voting on at the end. A better budget?
7 or 8 |
| #5 Slotham[139570] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
I thought it was obvious what they were fighting for, although it could have been renforced it was still quite clear.
- "Scott Miller was arguing that more resources should be spent on the special operations group, while David Johnson was trying to convince everyone that special operations was a complete waste of time."
And about the names, that's simply personal preference, I've seen plenty of strange names in novals that have made it big, some I liked some I didn't but in the end it has little bearing on the quality of the writing.
I think you could have expanded on your ideas such as more explanation of the special forces initial operation in chapter one. I enjoyed it but was left wanting more in depth explanation of characters and what they're doing.
8 |
| #6 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[139571] |
| h0003932041c0.ne.client2.attbi.com |
um, there is no way a crappy fanfic with an all white backround and no text variation whatsoever is going to get a gold.
5 |
| #7 LurkerBurger7[139575] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
I agree with 3 and 4. I really liked your writing style, but the names weren't too great (although that doesn't really matter too much). Good job.
6.5-7.0 |
| #8 LameJoker[139576] |
| pool-141-149-12-139.alb.east.verizon.net |
nice job, and whats so weird about the name James?
hehe....Enemy at the Gates...
(or War of the Rats) |
#9  [139588] |
| 12-222-57-81.client.insightBB.com |
:(
Not a big fan of boring and unfinished fan fic. |
| #10 ShadowWolf[139642] |
| 24-205-65-36.gln-eres.charterpipeline.net |
| sorry about the type and everything, but i just copied it straight from word, that's why everything looked weird. My names are mostly just working names, and i WILL change them later. Also, the story will be furthered later on, to explain everything, and the entire background of everyone should be covered by chapter six. As you can tell, this is gonna be a long story :P |
| #11 ShadowWolf[139643] |
| 24-205-65-36.gln-eres.charterpipeline.net |
| And also, I forgot to mention that this isn't fanfic. I accidentally put it under Starcraft, thought I meant to put it under "Other". It's a completely new novel based on my thought, and my thought alone. |
| #12 LurkerBurger7[139644] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| ....a 4?! pfff..... |
| #13 NotJim[139702] |
| 144.139.221.1 |
| mmm agreed |
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
