| #1 the-nut[141243] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| ^_^ i hoped u likdeded |
| #2 TM[141246] |
| 65.120.150.5 |
First non author
Decent pics, nice looking game, but for the love god, proofread your reports, oh please, the bad grammer is killing me. |
| #3 the-nut[141247] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
i did!
|
| #4 Convider[141251] |
| Toronto-HSE-ppp3660426.sympatico.ca |
| secound non-author |
| #5 LurkerBurger7[141252] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| Not bad Nut, but TM has an excellent point. Grammar,Grammar,Grammar...even though he spelled it wrong...LOL |
| #6 LurkerBurger7[141253] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
By the way
5.5 |
| #7 THE-NUT[141258] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| .............................ER |
| #8 endersshadow[141262] |
| ool-182d2de6.dyn.optonline.net |
| you're right, you have come a long way since your first report. however- WRITING!!! |
| #9 endersshadow[141263] |
| ool-182d2de6.dyn.optonline.net |
sorry 'bout double post, for some reason it posted on its own
:(. what I meant to say is that while your pictures are fine, your writing is still very poor in my opinion.
"Red looked at what he had and thought he needed a completely better force of what he had."
I mean, do you even read what you type down before posting?
This isn't meant as an insult- far from it, i hope that this helps you in the future. I just hope you realize that a rating isn't just based on how sexy your pics are- writing is an integral part as well. keep it up! |
| #10 the-nut[141266] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| i did look at it before i posted it.. maybe its just my stupid 11 year old brain |
| #11 striz[141267] |
| CPE00a0cc2d2b10-CM013050003852.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
hm, lurker and nut have the same IP...*GASP*
sorry...might have been a decent report, but you just make me angry. you mutilate the english language :(
later |
| #12 THE-Nut[141272] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| we have the same IP because we're brothers and we have the same internet. |
| #13 Newbius_Maximus[141273] |
| wc01.mtnk.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
Nut! If only your proofreading and grammar skills are as good as your playing skills (which they are ;)
Some things to improve:
1. No run on sentences
2. Effective use of pronouns is necessary
3. past and present tenses weren't used well in this report
4. Dylexics have more fnu! But I'm sure you're not, so make sure you spell things correctly
5. Maybe use Ms word to proofread, then copy and paste? That's a good method, as it checks both spelling and grammar!
Just a few pointers...
Good job, and remember to proofread your next report
7/10 (damnation to the damned! Did I mention you need to proofread your work?) |
| #14 the-nuT[141274] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| k ;) |
| #15 LameJoker[141278] |
| pool-129-44-17-42.alb.east.verizon.net |
OMG 3 for the oh so annoying cursor!!!
It keeps asking me to install it and Norton keeps telling me to block it! |
| #16 lost[141286] |
| cache-mtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
Like stated above.
Otherwise, it looks like you worked hard on it, nice pictures. The game seemed rather mediocre, but thats okay. Impressive for an 11 year old. |
| #17 EldritchEvil[141288] |
| nr11-216-196-190-86.fuse.net |
These are mediocre. Work harder. That's all it takes. Read books on improving your english, find a better game.
Also, just because he's ostensibly 11 doesn't mean you must say "Impressive!" every time you comment. You don't say "Impressive!" because someone is 25, do you? |
| #18 Freque[141297] |
| sdn-ap-031caburbP0058.dialsprint.net |
| not bad. i think everyone has already covered everything. better than your others tho. I've skipped some of the comments so sorry if someone already said this, but I didnt like the library thing being at the very beginning. If you must have it, try sneaking it in at the end, without really big links :) |
| #19 the-Nut[141306] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| :( |
| #20 ThE-Nut[141307] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
i thouvght the library was a good idea so u can see how
my reports have
improved |
| #21 stillphy_chi[141309] |
| hunt179-131.optonline.net |
guess wat i got optimum online yesterday at 5-20-03 trevor
now i can woop your asss like theres no tommorow like i usually do. hahaha. |
| #22 EldritchEvil[141310] |
| nr11-216-196-187-130.fuse.net |
| Well, do we really need to see how much you've improved? I mean, it's obvious that you have, but this "lookie lookie i'm a whole lot better now!!!" stuff seems to be a grab for attention. If you deserve attention, you'll get it. |
| #23 Slotham[141315] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
Yes, it is a huge improvement from your first one. But it is still absolute shit. Yes you managed to get pictures, put borders around them then overlap 3 to make a little collage. But the only images that did anything useful were the mini-maps. And what's with the double-ended arrow? You want to put us into a never ending loop where we look at image A, then image B then back again??
Your writing is still crap. Don't you have Microsoft Word on your computer? You do know it has an inbuilt spelling and grammar check? But it's not only your spelling and grammar; it's the way you present the battle. One of the first suggestions I made to you was to avoid writing as if you were telling it to a friend.
(What you do):
"Teal attacked but red stopped it then red attacked but red stopped it. Then teal built a cybernetics core then red built a cybernetics core <insert useless pic of cybernetics core building here>...."
|
| #24 Slotham[141316] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
It's the same as watching a replay but with 5% of the information. Writing a battle report DOES NOT consist of simply telling the reader exactly what happened in the game, you have to entertain the reader. Maybe you should wait until you've advanced a little in school before you attempt to write another report. At least think about it, please!!
Also, anyone that thinks this is worth a 7, and therefore a gold report is mad. People check the gold report section to read good reports; this was painful to read!! And the-nut is never going to improve if the comments section is filled with "nice" comments because he's 11. I don't give a damn what age he is, bad writing is bad writing.
|
| #25 Slotham[141317] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
I don't know how your going to improve because at the moment all your doing is giving us the same crap writing that makes me want to watch replays of 7v1 comp stomps. Yes you have now grasped the very basics of image editing but all I saw were dragoons firing at each other, which isn't entertaining or informative. If you insist on making another report please, at the BARE MINIMUM, fill the following requirements:
1. Wait until you have a good game to report on.
2. Use images that are useful and complement the writing.
3. Proofread.
4. Don't comment first.
5. Add some insight into the tactics the players are using.
(Along the lines of when Red lured Teal into a trap)
6. Have an introduction.
AND...
7. Get someone else to proofread, preferably an adult.
Please consider not reporting for a while!!
(5 at best) |
| #26 Slotham[141318] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
Dang, mixed up my Teal's and my Red's. Perfect example of why you should proofread!!
Seriously, I meant to do that!! |
| #27 Chris[141319] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
"Teals Dragoons quickly shot at teh otehr Dragoons"
4.0 |
| #28 Chris[141322] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
Also, the lack of humor was painful.
Plus, it had a whole storybook feel, i.e. "red looked at what he had left" that doesn't make this report sound like a report but more like a children's story. |
| #29 Chris[141323] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
Also, before I forget, shameless self-promotion inside your report, especially when it is 1/5 of your report = nothx.
Also, spamming your own comments section is bad. |
| #30 the-nut[141324] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| man chris stfu |
| #31 Chris[141325] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
I'm giving you actual comments to help you with your reporting.
Even if you don't take them, someone else will learn from your shitty reports. |
| #32 the-nut[141326] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
u write a report
lets c it |
| #33 LameJoker[141330] |
| pool-129-44-11-125.alb.east.verizon.net |
| ugh... PvP... the WC3 player's answer to SC>WC3 |
| #34 Smeagol[141331] |
| cascade-ext.nt.tas.gov.au |
The-nut dont be so against people commenting on ur reports, they usually know what they are talking about and u should actully listen for once in ur miserable life.
what slotham said was spot on u need to improve because u certainly aren't going anywhere so u may as well be churning out decent reports.
use the advice, and keep trying.
5 |
| #35 Psyonic_Reaver[141334] |
| 1Cust81.tnt1.bend.or.da.uu.net |
Number 25 comment: Dont comment first? Go tell that to Zerg~Ling please. =/
Nut! I liked the game and all but these are people we dont know...So we dont care about them! Plus they arent very good. I know ~NH is in a slump but dont give up! You can also find some good replays at any good SC site. Cant think of any at the moment but I'm sure you know some.
Your having the same start-up problems I was. Just proofread and then proofread it again. Let your family read it or an older brother or a friend. Trust me it helps.
Keep going!
6.5 |
| #36 Slotham[141336] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
Sorry if I seem a bit harsh but you don't seem to be listening to the advice we've been giving you and it's getting annoying. If you want to improve then go back through the comments sections of all your reports and make a checklist of all the suggestions.
Once you have a good game to report, write it up then get the checklist out and work your way down it. Cross off each suggestion as you complete it and resist the urge to post it ASAP.
When you have completed the list get your brother or another person to go through your checklist and let them cross off which ones they think you've done properly. At this point you should have the list with two columns. One column (yours) will have everything ticked off and hopefully the other (maybe your brother) will have everything ticked off as well. DO NOT submit the report until BOTH columns are completely done. |
| #37 Slotham[141337] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
Also, to be sure that you have things right, get your mum or dad (preferably someone who knows nothing about Starcraft) to read your report. Firstly they can check for spelling and grammar but they can also check that the report is informative. Even is someone knows nothing about starcraft they will still understand the general idea of the report if it is good. Explain some details to the "non-starcraft playing" reader as they ask questions and get them to tell you if the pictures complement the writing. Also, get them to be brutally honest. It's no good them lying to you, you won't learn that way.
Hope this helps. |
| #38 detomaso72[141344] |
| firewall.awhc.com |
| What I like the most is that you keep trying. You are doing better but keep up the effort. You submitt a lot of reports and before you know it, they will be tens. But not without you continueing to try and get better. |
| #39 I_am_Nitros[141347] |
| h64-141-27-37.sunwave.net |
| *sniff* I'm so proud of that 6 :') |
| #40 ZeaL[141358] |
| proxys.sj3.marketscore.com |
Nut, you won't take Chris's truthful comments. Don't tell anyone to shut up, because the TRUTH is your report HAVE impoved but they are still complete pieces of shit. We might as well watch a rep of that game...(on 2nd thought, NO)
gg no re thx -;-
VFA |
| #41 ZeaL[141359] |
| proxys.sj4.marketscore.com |
| And plz don't bring up that "I'm 11" shit" again, because we don't care how old you are, its the report that matters. |
| #42 ZeaL[141360] |
| proxys.sj3.marketscore.com |
Sry for spamming
I know i sound harsh the nut, sry about that -0' '0-
5.5 |
| #43 Newbius_Maximus[141379] |
| wc01.mtnk.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
Nut, if you want to battlereport a good match, do one between mattzarella and poor_lil_newb ;) It's like watching paint dry
Also, many of the good players are on clan ~nohunters on the weekends in the afternoon, you might want to look for your next battlereports then...
looking forward to your next report |
| #44 I_am_Nitros[141385] |
| h64-141-27-37.sunwave.net |
| ... IT IS NOT LIKE WATCHING PAINT DRY! I HAVE AN EXCITING STYLE! IT INVOLVES LOTS OF TECHING AND NON OF THAT BORING ACTUAL UNITS OR ECONOMY CRAP! You can't comphrehend the true excitement in watching that lair or hive vibrate as it mutates... |
| #45 iNsOm[141445] |
| evrtwa1-ar13-4-62-069-221.evrtwa1.dsl-verizon.net |
here's my opinion, everyone needs variety, and the battlereporters need variety, it shouldn't all be the same stuff, variety is core to the environment. so, nut it's fine if you want to do some things different from what other battlereporters do. don't listen to people when they want you to conform to what others do, although i'm not against the ideas of improving your english
oh and yeah guys...give him credit huh? he's trying to learn three languages at once...english, whatever was his first language...and html, so of course he's going to say really crappy stuff, although i will say, there is absolutely nothing wrong with checking to make sure everything's neat and nice, but then, i could imagine that would be really hard to do since the normal text is mixed in with all that html, wouldn't you think? i don't know... |
| #46 Chris[141624] |
| astound-64-85-237-118.ca.astound.net |
| Because HTML is a complex as english.... |
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