"Mario is a druggie"
CynicalMagician
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| Wisconsin Sucks... I Hate Cheese | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 10/03/99 01:10 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 6, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for MisterMerf: 5.5000 |   | The Curse of Wisconsin
Intro
Map: Challenger
MisterMerf: 6:00, Random to Zerg
Creation505: 12:00, Random (I think) to Toss
Game Speed: Faster
Relevance of Game Speed: I suck worse on Faster
Relevance of Report: It was funny.
Let’s Get it on!
The living structure pulsed disgustingly amid the sea of purple, diseased earth that was the insidious creep. A bloated, floating entity bayed above the throbbing hatchery. Suddenly, the novelist ghostwriting this had a stroke and was sent to ICU. Too bad.
What my build order would have been if I were playing correctly:
10/9 drone trick.
Send 10th to scout.
Make second hatchery at alternate gas.
Use 8th drone to make Spawning Pool.
Overlord
Drone
Gas
Drone
Wait for Olord
Drones
Hydra Den
Make some hydras.
The actual order:
All of the above except I used my scouting drone to cheeze and take his gas.
Then it all fell apart because Creation had a warping cannon already that took it out.
Then I cried because my first attempt at cheese was sour milk.
Then my mother whacked me, telling me not to cry over spilt milk and to keep playing.
So my cheese failed and I was going to go double evo chamber, but I noticed Creation had a pylon at my choke. God, everyone has cheese on their mind… I let it live because, hey, hydras kick ass against cannons. I had 4 zerglings, but didn’t attack. Somebody slap me.
There was a certain Protoss unit that resists explosive damage quite well. I apparently had been previously unaware of its existence, because I didn’t try to take out the cannons as they warped, even. I wanted him to waste money… When I had 4 hydras, I went to take out his cannon.
Protoss Don’t Make Very Tasty Cheeses
2 cannons, another warping pylon, and 3 or 4 zealots met me. Okay, we have now clearly established that this sucks. I attack, trying to take out the cannons while my lings keep the zealots busy. Umm, no. Didn’t work well.
So I make more hydras. No more lings. Just hydras. Unfortunately, the cannon wall had advanced. Oh, the humanity! I had upgraded my hydra speed already and I decided to make 2 more sunkens to defend against the cannons. (Extra Author’s Note: Sunkens have shorter range than I realized.) My hydras died. I made more. Don’t you love the Zerg?
I saw a warping shield battery now. I had a lair, so I decided I would bail and researched ventral sacs. My drone production was abysmal because I was desperate to eliminate the cannon wall. I now baited Creation's zealots in range of the sunkens. Of course, the game worked both ways because I had to get in range of cannons to do this…
My gas was being attacked and my second hatchery was ancient history. Damn sunkens don’t have enough range to get the cannons by the gas… So I attacked them. Goons defended. What?!? Didn’t anyone tell him how much goons suck against hydras? Especially when zealots would have had cannon cover in the same situation! I killed the goons with my group of hydras and got 1 of the 2 cannons now attacking my gas before reinforcements killed my group. I saved one. Creation's troops followed. My sunkens kicked in;-) None of his stuff died because he brought them back to his shield battery=[.
My gas died, but since I had only one hatchery, there was plenty more. I made more hydras and killed the cannons attacking my gas. And the pylon. Then I retreated the little way back to base because my Olords were being harassed by corsair. Grr….
I killed none of the sairs, but forced them to run away. More came. Reavers came. Lots of stuff came. I had a single drone moving toward the SE center island. It landed. It turned into a hatchery. My other base died.
Mining operations running right along, but a sair just flew overhead. Pool, hydra den, and evo chamber present and accounted for. Let’s make this more fun…
To make a short story less long, I defended the island with colonies and 3 hydras. Creation webbed my colonies, dropped reavers and lost them;-) They landed inside the web and my unwebbed sunkens kill them before he had killed more than 1 hydra.
After I mined happily for 10 minutes, he killed me. This little fortress was a lot of fun while it lasted. Refer to the pics.
Lessons Learned:
1. Don’t let people start cannon containment on you. It can be painful.
2. Have fun, even if you can’t win.
3. This guy wanted to play me again. I guess he needed more ego boost.
4. See Pics. A single carrier with a single interceptor at a time makes little impression on 4 spore colonies.
5. Even the shortest of games can be written long. Crucify me.
| | Battle Shots! | 
Reavers suck when they're d-webbed. See how well they're doing?
Carriers also suck when they're alone and have 1 interceptor...
Creation strung me along, just because I was a bad sport and didn't die. Jeez... Now all I have to do is learn to edit images, and play.
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