Now I know all of you are just dying to know. Why in the world would I break down and play a game on my all time least favorite map, "Big Game Hunters".

Well, it was last season and I had just created my alter ego, E-Minor. I decided that I would use this account to play on the regular Starcraft ladder. I got my 10 melee wins real quick playing 2v1 comps on Blood bath and so my melee record was 10-0-0. Now I don't know if any of you have had this problem, but when I went to play on the ladder, I got booted out of four consecutive games. After the fourth game, I was mad. I realized that most people that play on the ladder are very selective of their opponents. If they see someone with a 10-0-0 melee record and a 0-0-0 ladder record, they have no way of judging the skill of their opponent. I decided that maybe if I got a couple of losses on my record, I would increase my chances of finding a person who was willing to play me.

With that thought in mind, I joined the first 2v2 BGH game that I saw. 1 minute into the game, my ally, and 1 guy from the other team dropped out of the game. I started in the top right corner, and my remaining opponent started in the top middle. Just to make my loss more interesting, I lifted off my command center and moved it to the top right corner of the map. Then I moved my 10 scvs to spots all over the map. Since I had 200 minerals left, I built two refineries at the middle left hand starting spot.

I was watching Friends (the TV show) while I waited for him to kill me. After 10 minutes, it was time for a commercial break, so I decided to take one of my scv's and see what he was up to. To my amazement, I found that he had expanded!!

Because of the number of Mutalisks that attacked my scv, I figured that the end was near. A group of Mutalisks can scout the entire map in a matter of seconds. Friends came back on and I minimized my screen. I forgot about the game for awhile. When Friends was over I maximized my window to see what was going on. Everything was exactly as I left it. Mystified, I sent another scv on a scouting mission. I was quite surprised at what I found. He had a Defiler Mound, an Ultralisk Cavern, and a Queen's Nest. This guy must be building a massive army.

I minimized my screen again wondering if I would just have to leave the game in order to get my loss. This guy might never attack me.

Friends ended, and some stupid sitcom called Jessi came on. I maximized my screen again to see what was happening. a little red blinking dot on my minimap indicated that one of my buildings was under attack. It was my refineries, they were being bombarded by 12 mutaslisks. By now, we were forty minutes into the game.

Finally, after 45 minutes of play, a group of mutalisks found my command center. "gg" I said. "Oh my god, you are a $%*&ing retard" he replied.

The final score still makes me laugh!!

My mission was accomplished, I had my loss. I wonder how stupid that guy felt playing a 45 minute game, building up a huge army, and then the only thing he could find to kill was a command center, 2 refineries, and 10 scvs.

Lessons Learned: (by my opponent hopefully)
1. Scout
2. Scout
3. Scout
4. Scout
5. One more time, Scout

Thank you for your time and attentiveness in reading about this exciting battle.

Regards,
Drefsab