"Here's one guy who's really improved as of late - at the expense of his girlfriend, his academics, his job, his weight and his haircut."
-|]agomar
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| Vegas vs. Princess | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 11/02/99 07:11 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 4, Max: 6, Min: 4
Lifetime Rating for WarriorPrincess: 5.4000 |    | It was one of those warm sunny Sundays that happen so often in California. Warrior Princess sat in her corner chair, flipping through the channels, desperately searching for the Packer game. The cat tried to snuggle up to her, but while vegas wasn't looking, she booted the cat across the room. It didn't take WP long to figure out the Packer game wasn't on, so she went to NFL.com and saw the Packers were going to play on Monday night! DOH!
Blaming Johnny_Vegas for her not being able to watch the Packers play, she decided to blame him for every other wrong in the world, including the starving children in Samalia.
"Honey..."
Hmmmm....no answer, so a little louder,
"Honey..."
Dammit, where is that man when I need him? One more time...
"HONEY!!!" To her dismay, WP saw that Johnny had figured out her devious plan and was already in a game of Starcraft. His deep concentration in the game prevented him from hearing his little wife's pleas. Or maybe it was the earmuffs?
Anyway, WP hops on line and lands in nohunters. After shamelessly leading on the few boys in nohunters, WP headed to another room to find some real players. Finding nobody who would be a man, she sighed and created a game. The game name? 1v1 no yellow bellies.
Meanwhile, Vegas was busy getting his sorry but whooped by another girl named Daisy. Somewhere around this time, Daisy handed his hairy but to him in sling like fashion. Nursing his wounds, Johnny walked into my game. He didn't really want to play until I called him yellow. I guess that riled him up a bit, and before I knew it I was making my first peon!
Since Johnny taught me how to play the game, I knew he would expect me to go terran. Although I would like to say I was devious enough to play another race, I wasn't. I went my usual terran. That sly cat johnny didn't allow me to see what race he was, so I damn had to scout.
Well, I sent out Sally, the pretty peon to seduce Vegas. She did her best to bat her mechanical eyelashes, but the surly marines in the team Vegas bunker were having none of that! Plan one foiled.
Since Sally failed, I decided to send in all my scvs to run past the bunker. Somehow, I just knew that vegas would have no defense in his town. SO, the seven bombshell scvs wiggled their hips past the bunkers. Team Vegas was overwhelmed and with tounges hanging out, the marines followed the scvs into the Vegas Fortress.
My gut insticts were confirmed. Vegas was wisely going for the Science Vessel super rush. While Team Vegas was chasing my fem-bots, I sneaked in a tank and some rines and blew up his bunker and rolled into his town.
Now, some of you may think Johnny is a god. I live with him, I know better. I beat Vegas with a wink and a smile. Plus a tank and 8 marines.
Moral of the story:
-Watch out for sexy scvs
-Don't piss off your wife or she will post a battle report that will make you look silly
-THIS REPORT IS A JOKE....if you've ever wondered why WarriorPrincess never plays against Johnny, it's because she knows he is a God! Muhahahahaha |
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