"These rule. It's like a sitcom, where Aldo is the straight guy and Fox is the street-wise black lesbian with funny lookin' clothes."
- DivvyO
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| The I_Hate_Medics Chronicles | | | Author: | | | IP: | huru27.wXXXX | | Date: | 01/26/00 09:01 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 10, Min: 10
Lifetime Rating for WilliamWC3: 9.0882 |  |
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Warning: There are
two types of people reading this report. The first kind is
already off staring blankly at my pretty pictures. The second
are the ones reading this warning because none of the pictures
are loading. The reason for this is one of the following: Bill
Gates is the devil; Netscape Navigator was programmed by a
bunch of monkeys; a butterfly flapped its wings in Hong Kong
(or one of its near by suburbs); you are actually trying to
download this through a phone line (be serious people); or
Bill Gates is the devil. Regardless, if you are in the latter
group please hit the refresh button, clasp your hands together
put your left thumb in front of your right thumb, put your
right thumb in front of your left thumb, repeat. And please,
please, please, have a nice day.
 This is the story of a man cursed
by the fates. This is the story of a man who has lost every
reported game in which he has appeared. This is the story of
Obiwanjebroni. To begin this story we are going to have to
travel back in time and visit two roommates as they were about
to embark on their fateful journey. One of these roommates was
a reporter and the other a player and they had a plan. A plan,
perfect in its simplicity. The player, JPaikman /
Obiwanjebroni, would beat top notch starcraft players and the
reporter, WilliamWC3, would observe and write about these
games and word of both their talents would spread about the
land.
They began their
endeavors small with an innocent victim who couldn't possibly
have understood his role in the grand scheme of things. His
name was Zileas. Unfortunately for the roommates fate had
already turned against them and JPaikman was crushed by the
old protoss legend. The roommates regrouped though and thought
about their situation a little. Their plans had been spoiled
by Zileas so perhaps they should start smaller with someone
less well known.
A
protoss player by the name of Iced-Tree is designated as the
second victim. Unbelievably though, JPaikman is beaten again.
Now our two heroes are desperate. They scroll down the list of
people in No Hunters challenging anyone who isn't over 1100
ladder. Finally someone by the name of uncle_a accepts. At
last JPaikman can begin to rebuild his reputation. As the game
begins though uncle draws protoss and he refuses to fall at
the hands of Paikman's zerg. After an epic battle through
probable use of the Mark4 skill hack uncle_a is able to
overrun JPaikmans zerg.
Now the plans of the two roommates
lie in ruins. How can they ever rebuild JPaikman's reputation
after such losses. Who will even bother playing him now. But
just as they are about to give up and go buy copies of Diablo,
the god who had turned away from them so cruelly in the past
weeks suddenly sent a blessing. Another challenge, another
game, one more last chance to save their reputations.. And so
begins the I_Hate_Medics chronicles.
We take up the action right where
we left off in the last report after JPaikman's crushing
defeat at the hands of uncle_a. It has been just 24 hours
since this game and it is once again three AM and I am once
again in nohunters. Zileas is here under one of his new logins
arguing with about fifteen goofballs. If you can call it an
argument. Zileas would make a well formed opinion about
imbalance and then every goofball and his brother would start
contradicting him with some of the most ridiculous irrelevant
nonsense I've ever seen.
Well Zileas finally grew tired of
this and went to bed. After the goofballs finally realized
that he had left and they were now just contradicting each
other they began to split off into games presumably to prove
once and for all whether or not six corsairs beat six
devourers. At this point in time I begin to pay more
attention. I watch as people challenge each other to 1 v 1's
looking for a good match up. I_Hate_Medics is searching for
someone to play and LionLord says he will. Hmmm.. This could
be an interesting game. LionLord played in one of my reports
earlier and has observed in two of them. I_Hate_Medics
curiously turns him down though saying that LionLord would own
him. Suddenly an idea dawns on me. I tell my roommate to get
his ass online.
My
roommate enters the channel and tells Medics that the game is
on. Medics who is relieved to get a response out of anyone
other than LionLord, accepts the challenge. I begin by
clarifying what my role will be with my standard "Me Watchy,
Me Watchy...", and we begin map discussion. I immediately make
it clear that I am not doing a report on another Temple game.
My roommate suggests Rivalry and I groan so they tell me to
just create. A bad idea always; I contemplate creating on one
of the maps I have designed but realizing neither of them will
play decide to stick with Blizz maps. I begin going through my
map folders looking for decent maps never played on. I finally
decide on Forsaken Valley (ahh now the sandy background is
starting to make sense) a four player broodwar ladder map on
desert tile which is played only slightly more frequently than
Medusa.
Ok, its lets
meet the map time. Forsaken Valley is a 196x128 (wider than it
is tall) land map with starting locations in the corners.
There is one ramp into each main that goes downhill into the
main. Each starting location has one natural with out gas up
the ramp from the main. There are two other expansions (one on
the far left and the other on the far right) which have four
mineral patches and a gas that are accessible by land. All
other expansions are in the valley and cannot be reached
without drop capability (floating bases etc.). In the valley
there is four more expansions with only minerals and two
expansions with both minerals and gas. This map is also know
for being insanely easy to get troops behind someone's supply
line as the minerals are just kind of in the middle of a wide
open area.
 I create the game and as usual the
first person to join is another observer. This time though its
not LionLord but rather the star of my last report uncle_a.
Our two contestants join and uncle informs us all that he
doesn't know the map. I tell him that he'll just have to wing
it and hope he doesn't screw up and float his base the wrong
way. As I start the game I_Hate_Medics chooses zerg and
JPaikman lets the fates decide which race to fight for today.
As soon as the game starts and I instruct uncle to float his
base to the center of the map, I see that the fates have
decided that JPaikman will also be zerg. Son of a.. Zerg v
zerg is about as interesting as watching paint dry. The only
thing worse is protoss vs protoss which is about as
interesting as watching paint just sit there and not dry.
uncle tries to cheer me up by telling me that at least it will
be over quick. Well we'll see. As for starting locations
Medics drew the upper right with Paikman in the lower right.
Their overlords were both sent straight to each others bases
and crossed in the middle.
 Well lets get this party started.
JPaikman's opening build order is cancelled extractor on 9,
hatchery on 10 and spawning pool on 13. I'm thinking that this
is a wee bit questionable in a zerg v zerg game where you both
know each others races and starting locations (the overlords
have already crossed) but then I'm also thinking that I suck
at this game since I've been playing for a year and a half and
still manage to lose to people who have only been playing for
a week. Now I check Medics base. He went extractor on 9 (not
cancelled) hatchery on 13 and about the latest ass spawning
pool I think I've ever seen in ZvZ. Well so much for
JPaikman's build being questionable.
 Now JPaikman's overlord reports
back to the cerebrate this peculiar build order and he
realizes that it is still open to some zergling / offensive
sunken harassment despite the spawning pool on thirteen.
JPaikman sends a drone up to the base and begins building six
zerglings at his. The drone arrives at the base but realizing
that zergling support is still far away decides not to start
anything suspicious just yet. The drone notes a creep colony
being formed but also notes that the spawning pool is still
far from completion. Oddly, despite the presence of a purple
drone on his creep Medics continues to build drones and not
save his larvae for zerglings.
 As JPaikman's six zerglings enter
the base his drone begins morphing a creep colony on the
northern side of the creep. Medics pool has finished now and
he begins converting his creep colony into a sunken. The
zerglings immediately target the structure though and manage
to kill it before any zerglings are lost. Now Medics' first
six zerglings hatch. The zerglings engage and one zergling
from each side is lost before JPaikman retreats his five
zerglings. Medics five zerglings now target the sunken while
JPaikman's zerglings split up. Two of the zerglings start
flanking Medics ones which are fighting the sunken while the
other three head for the supply line.
 JPaikman's three zerglings which
make it to the supply line are immediately greeted by spitting
drones as Medics instructs his gatherers to defend themselves.
The three zerglings manage to take a few drones with them but
are quickly overwhelmed by the twelve or so spitters. Back at
the sunken Medics' five zerglings after doing significant
damage to the sunken are forced to engage the two zergling
that are flanking them. The result is that both sets of
zerglings die leaving a 110 hit point sunken and ten or so
drones. The drones surround the sunken and losing a couple
more of their number manage to make it explode.
 While this was
going on JPaikman has sent a drone to the bottom-left corner
and began a hatchery there. Meanwhile, Medics who was
upgrading his base even during the attack has almost finished
his lair and being the Korean fanatic that he is, is going for
the standard muta/ling. While Medics finishes his fast tech to
mutalisks, JPaikman builds his economy at both bases adds a
hydralisk den and finally starts the lair upgrade. As Medics'
first four mutalisks hatch and begin searching the map for
overlords to hunt a small task force of eight zerglings and
four hyrdalisks are on their way to his base.
 JPaikman's
zergling-hydralisk force finds one sunken stationed out in
front of the base a bit. They target the structure and manage
to take it down quickly. Twelve of Medics' nearby zerglings
charge JPaikman's remaining six 'lings and overwhelm them. The
hydralisk immediately begin to retreat with Medics' eight
surviving 'lings in pursuit. The zerglings kill a hydralisk
before stopping and it looks like the other three will escape
when Medics' four mutalisks arrive. The hydralisks are still
in "move" mode and do not therefore return fire until one of
them is dead and the other badly wounded. The result is that
all four mutalisks survive and none of the hydralisks are as
lucky.
 During this attack Medics also
expands to the upper-left main as one of JPaikman's overlords
sent there to scout notes. Now JPaikman immediately begins an
evolutionary bay and a few creep colonies at his bases in
preparation for the mutalisk harassing that is sure to come.
The overlord hunting squad of mutalisks that has now grown to
six starts patrolling around the map and manages to pick off a
couple of JPaikman's non-speed upgraded overlords.
 Now these mutalisks find JPaikman's
lower left expansion which is currently defended by two spores
and a hydralisk. After situating themselves so that they can
only be hit by one spore they manage to kill it and the
hydralisk and then chase the drones to the other spore. At the
same time though on the opposite corner of the map hydralisks
which had been sent from JPaikman's main to attack Medics' new
expansion upper left pass through Medics' natural. As these
twelve hydralisks pass by the ramp into Medics' base ten
zerglings most likely on their way to finish off Paikman's
lower left expand come up the ramp and splits the hydras into
two groups. The lagging group is quickly overwhelmed while the
leading group stops and groups up. The hydralisks in the
leading group are able to kill these zerglings without further
loss.
 The four mutalisks that are still
alive lower left are now instructed to return to base to deal
with the hydra threat. The seven hydralisks which survived the
zergling assault decide that since they just killed 'lings
coming from the main that perhaps it would make a better
target than the new expand they were headed towards. Once in
the base though they find a sunken placed exactly where the
last one had been and twelve zerglings that had just been
scrambled. The hydralisk pull back after two of them die and
begin running from ten zerglings giving chase. Meanwhile about
ten more hydralisks are on their way northward to support the
others.
 When the first four reinforcing
hydralisks arrive they encounter four of Medics' zerglings
coming up the ramp. After losing one hydralisk the zerglings
are dispatched and two of the three remaining hydras are
morphed into lurkers. More of Medics' zerglings come up the
ramp but the other six of JPaikman's hydralisks arrive and
defend the lurker eggs while they morph. Meanwhile on the
other side of the map, the five retreating hydralisk have
crossed the entire map and ran straight into Medics'
upper-left expansion which is defended by two sunkens. The
hydralisks die quickly to the sunkens while I realize that the
ten zerglings which I thought were giving chase to these
hydras actually had other plans. Instead of following the
hydras into the upper-left base they turned south and were now
approaching JPaikman's lower-left expansion.
 Meanwhile back in
upper-right just as the two lurkers are finished morphing the
four mutalisks which had been taking a cigarette break during
the proceeding chaos, finally return to the main to help
defend. The six hydralisks and and two lurkers move into the
main and the lurkers burrow near the sunken. Things are
looking good for JPaikman when the hydralisks mysteriously
pull back. This allows the mutalisks and sunkens to kill the
lurkers. All of Medics' zerglings die but there is another
sunken hastily being morphed and a sunken and four mutalisks
still defending so the surviving five hydralisks
retreat.
 Now back to bottom-left Medics' ten
zerglings are able to kill several drones but eventually die
to five hydralisks that had recently been spawned there. This
time though zerglings and mutalisks manage to track down and
kill the hydralisks after they danced half way across the map.
Meanwhile, JPaikman's next attack was already on its way has
four hydralisks and about eight 'lings head north from the
lower-left to Medics' upper-left base. Once there they find
three sunkens and a few zerglings and are only able to take
out one sunken before they all fall.
 At the same time, Medics is
building a hatchery at his natural and sending about nine
zerglings over to the lower left for reasons unknown. This is
only of mild interest though because as the hatchery at
Medics' natural is merrily morphing away supported by a small
group of ten or so zerglings, a large army of JPaikman's
troops is headed straight for it. About twenty 'lings, eight
hydralisks and two lurkers charge into the natural and before
the lurkers can burrow the hatchery is canceled and Medics'
troops fall back. JPaikman immediately pushes into the main.
The resulting battle is quite chaotic. JPaikman's troops move
to the north of the base so they will only have to fight one
sunken but the lurkers burrow late and Medics has twelve
mutalisks and eight fresh zerglings to defend. The zerglings
all die but the mutalisks overpower the hydralisks and then
finish off the lurkers. With his remaining zerglings Paikman
attempts to suicide the spire but only gets it down to 129 hit
points.
 Meanwhile those nine zerglings in
the bottom-left decide to make themselves useful and attack
JPaikman's base there. One lurker burrowed by the hatchery
fries the zerglings before they can kill anything however. Now
during all this confusion of constant attacks JPaikman has
built a hatchery at the far right expansion. Unfortunately
mutalisks which have been patrolling this for most of the game
find it and kill it before any minerals can be gathered there.
About sixteen lings are also sent into this base to make sure
the expansion stays dead. As the zerglings are leaving this
base they encounter a string of hydralisks heading northward
from JPaikman's main. The first few hydralisks are separated
and killed but the rest take care of the zerglings quickly.
The mutalisks try to go in and support the zerglings but
seeing that it is hopeless pull back losing a couple of their
number.
 During all of this I am forced to
tab out of starcraft to transfer some screen shots. When I tab
back in I hear, "Your forces are under attack." My
forces are under attack!? I look to the center of the map and
see that sure enough that back stabbing little mo fo has built
an scv which is now busy cutting away at my base with his
little fusion cutters. I immediately begin production of my
own scv. Unfortunately, I am distracted by the game and
uncle_a is clearly hacking so my scv is killed. I lift off my
base and continue to watch.
 Now I notice that Medics has
advanced to hive and presumably cracklings while JPaikman has
just begun work on his queens nest. I also notice that Medics
has not upgraded his troops at all while JPaikman is 1/1. To
replace the hatchery lost at his natural, Medics now begins
morphing another one at the natural to the upper-left base.
Now the same attack force that was cut off in transit as it
passed the far right expansion has finally arrived at its
destination: Medics' upper-left base. The attack force now
consists of twelve hydralisks a couple of lurkers and a few
odd 'lings. They cut off a couple of drones which were being
Maynarded to the hatchery at the upper-left natural and then
move in. Defending they find three sunkens and a few
hydralisks (Medics had recently built a den at the upper-left
base).
 Medics begins pumping hydralisk out
of both hatcheries at the expansion but his troops are still
not upgraded. The result is that Medics loses all three
sunkens about ten hydras and a few zerglings while JPaikman
loses almost nothing. Now though a large muta/ling force of
about ten mutalisk and sixteen lings which were preparing to
attack JPaikman's main finally arrives. Once again all the
zerglings die to lurker and hydralisk fire but the mutalisks
survive unscathed and kill the last lurker with the help of
overlords.
 Now hydralisks and
zerglings which are gathered outside of JPaikman's lower left
expansion intercept a late ass Maynard transfer. On the other
side of the map an identical late ass Maynard transfer is
being conducted by Medics but his goes unharrassed as JPaikman
no longer has troops on that half of the map. Medics now
gathers hydralisks, zerglings, mutalisks and overlords outside
of the lower-left expansion. JPaikman now frustrated at his
inability to carry out a successful attack and realizing that
both his mineral gathering sites are running low, concedes the
game. Does he leave the game? Of course not.
 Uncle_a now gets really confused
and eventually admits that the entire time he thought JPaikman
was white. Arrgg, this guy makes LionLord look good. Back to
the game though, I_Hate_Medics attacks with his twelve
mutalisks, twelve hydralisks, about 20 some odd lings.
Defending the base they find four spore colonies, three
lurkers and four hydralisks. Well the mutalisks are quickly
shot down by the spores while the zerglings die even quicker
to the spines of the lurkers. The twelve hydralisks manage to
kill one spore, two of lurkers and all four of Paikman's
hydras before the overlord falls to spores leaving the
remaining hydras at the mercy of the last lurker.
 JPaikman just refuses to die. Why
is he wasting our ti... Suddenly I notice a huge purple
splotch headed northward out of JPaikman's main. Twenty four
hydralisks are on their way to wreak havoc on Medics' main.
Meanwhile at JPaikman's last functional expansion five
guardians have been morphed and are proceeding to rip through
the base. A few hydralisks scrambled at this expansion manage
to take out one of the guardians but that is the last bit of
resistance offered to save lower-left.
 Back at Medics' main the
twenty-four hydralisks have been reduced to eighteen by the
defending forces of a sunken, eight lings and a hydralisk. The
remaining eighteen quickly tear down the hive, greater spire,
queens nest and spawning pool. JPaikman has run out of cash
now though and is long distance mining with what drones he has
managed to save. Medics has been reduced to his bases at the
upper left main and the upper left natural and can only make
hydralisks. The hydralisks immediately leave upper right after
taking out the last structure and head towards upper-left.
JPaikman starts morphing a hatchery at the far right expansion
with hopes of getting back in the game.
As the hydralisks arrive at
the upper left natural they find a few hydralisks, still 0/0
and two sunkens defending it. The hydralisks take more losses
but the eleven surviving hydras begin to level the expansion.
Eight more hydralisks come in from behind them from the upper
left main but they file in one at a time and are killed
without taking a single one of JPaikman's hydras with them.
Now it is I_Hate_Medics turn to concede the game. Unlike
JPaikman he actually leaves it though.
Thoughts
on the game: I still think mutalisks and zerglings beats
hydras and lurkers on a map like that. If medics had kept up
on upgrades I think he would have won. Of course he might have
needed the gas for his mutalisks. Of course I don't know what
I'm talking about. Never give up. It actually won JPaikman a
game this time. I think I_Hate_Medics still had a chance at
the end if he realized how bad JPaikman's economy was he may
have stayed in and just tried to hold the upper left main and
then countered. I also think was a really good game. Good job
guys.
Thoughts on the map: A lot of people don't
like this map because the ramp is inverted which makes it a
lousy choke to defend. This tends to turn it into more of a
rush map despite its size. People also complain that you can
fit an entire infantry division behind the supply line. Other
quirky things about the map is the large quantity of mineral
only expansions (eight) and the whole valley thing. I still
like this map precisely because of all these things. Its not
temple. Get over it. I think people should learn how to play
on more than one type of
map.
| |
 |
 YES! JPaikman finally won a
WilliamWC3 reported game. All has been forgiven. He can show
his face in nohunters again. Ah but only if the story ended
there.. (you were wondering about the sudden change in
background)
About sixteen hours later and the
night is still young, my roommate and I are back in the
channel. Lo and behold our new friend I_Hate_Medics is in
here. Before I even realize what's going on my roommate
publicly asks Medics for a rematch. What is he thinking?
Risking his only win in a WC3 report ever in a rematch, is the
man a fool? It certainly seems so as Medics' one word reply
speaks volumes: "revenge".
We meet in channel ruby and this
time despite all my moaning and groaning the map is decided to
be rivalry. I create on one of the several hundred observer
versions of the map I have collected and start the game. This
time no other observers. Just JPaikman, I_Hate_Medics and I.
Medics selects terran as his weapon of choice and JPaikman as
usual goes random. Medics, the terran commander, finds himself
in the north-west corner of the map while JPaikman gets
protoss in the opposite south-east corner.
 This game begins with two more
unusual builds. Medics begins with a depot on 8 a refinery I
think about ten and a barracks close to 12. JPaikman wins the
unusual build contest this game by going pylon, gateway,
pylon, assimilator, nexus at the southern expansion,
cybernetics, robotics facility, robotics support bay, zealot.
Sure this gives you a late zealot but if you like to tech like
a whore while expanding like a whore simultaneously then it
can't be beat.
 Medics meanwhile realizes that his
opponent is protoss (it would have been cute if he had gone
refinery before rax against zerg) begins construction of two
factories. His first scouting scv attacks a probe that is just
milling around before getting drawn into the supply line and
almost killed. The scv retreats but comes back shortly
thereafter for a second look. He is killed almost immediately
by another idle probe. This scv does however send back
important information about JPaikman's build. I_Hate_Medics
realizes that despite his ass late barracks he still has the
opportunity to offensive bunker JPaikman.
 Medics sends an scv and all of his
marines(two) to JPaikman's base. It would have worked too
despite the zealot that was half finished now except the scv
got too far ahead of the marines and began wandering through
the maze of pylons. Somehow two probes manage to trap the scv
in between the nexus and the cybernetics core. The remaining
two marines try attacking the supply line anyway but a zealot
finally popped out and with the help of the probes themselves
the marines are taken down.
 Medics' first two vultures just
popped though and are already on the way to Paikman's base.
The first two vultures dance with Paikman's zealot for a while
at his ramp before the zealot finally retreats to the supply
line. By now though two more vultures have arrived and the
zealot dies quickly. The vultures immediately go behind the
supply line and start blowing up probes. Now a reaver comes
out of the robotics facility and a shuttle which had been
hovering overhead scoops it up quickly. The probes flee to the
southern expansion and the vultures follow. A reaver full of
scarabs is there waiting for them though and after several
explode the rest retreat.
 Now, the terran commander expands
to the north-east main and sends his first two tanks to start
seiging JPaikman's expansion. The protoss executor tries
dropping the reaver next to the one sieged tank but an
unsieged tank and five vultures manage to kill it before it
does serious damage. All the troops now charge into the
expansion and it falls quickly. Medics tries to push into the
main now but JPaikman has several dragoons and another
reaver.
 Seeing that he can't push into
JPaikman's base just yet, Medics expands again this time to
the south-west main. JPaikman attempts a reaver drop at the
north-east main and succeeds in killing a tank, a marine, a
vulture and a couple of scvs before losing both reavers to
more sieged tanks. Medics' tank push proceeds slowly as do
most terran v protoss pushes until he finally just amasses
tanks and sends them in unsieged. JPaikman's dragoons start
collapsing and finally the expansionless 'toss is
overrun.
Thoughts
on the game: Wow, JPaikman got owned.
Thoughts
on the map: This map is a lot like temple in the early
game but can get quite interesting late in the game with all
the bridges and points of entry things you have to consider.
Some people say terran has a rough time of it on this map but
I think they are alright. No islands for 'toss to turtle up
on; few ledges to hide guardians and carriers; and I love
watching protoss ground trying to cross one of those bridges
into a well defended terran
base.
| |
 |
 Oh dear look what JPaikman has gone
and done now. He has ruined his only chance of winning in a
WC3 report. He just barely won the first game and got owned
badly in the second. Is there any chance he'll win the tie
breaker? Read on my friend.
In between the second and third
game there is yet another map dispute. This time I refuse to
let them play on temple or rivalry. I go through all of the
ladder maps twice and finally acropolis is agreed on.
Acropolis is a six player land 192x192 ladder map on jungle
tile. There is one starting location at the top, one at the
bottom and two on each side all evenly spaced. There is an
island expansion in each corner and a raised jungle expansion
on each side of the map in the middle. There is also several
small expansions and one big expansion in the high jungle in
the center of the map. The choke to each base consist of a
ramp down from the high jungle, then a bridge and finally a
gate formed by temple which units but not structures can be
placed on. ahh look at the map.
I created and this time Medics
decides to switch back and go zerg. JPaikman, not wanting to
take any chances with another zerg v zerg game changes his
race at the last minute to terran to ensure his favorite match
up. As the game begins I find JPaikman has drawn the 10:00
spot with I_Hate_Medics in the far away 4:00 spot. Before the
game can even start, Medics begins complaining about the zerg
vs terran match up.
 Medics goes surprise, surprise
early gas while JPaikman does a one barracks, second command
center, two more barracks build and then begins teching to
science vessels. The zerg cerebrate meanwhile starts upgrading
his base and then adds a second hatchery and a hydralisk den.
About the same time as JPaikman's command center reaches the
upper-left island, Medics begins morphing a hatchery at the
6:00 main.
 The size and unfamiliarity of the
map seem to cause scouting problems for both players as both
zerglings and scvs alike are frequently seen wandering through
various parts of the map apparently dazed and confused. Medics
finishes his tech up to lurkers and burrows two of them just
up the ramp from his main. He is also busy developing his 6:00
expansion where he builds a couple of evolutionary bays to
actually get upgrades this game. At about this time he also
sends another drone out and builds a hatchery at the 8:00
main.
 We finally get to see some action
when five zerglings which had been running from base to base
come stumbling into JPaikman's main. Amazingly this small
force is actually able to kill a siege tank which had been
very poorly placed before the zerglings die. JPaikman has now
finished his three barracks and his tech to science vessels.
His expansion in the upper left is running smoothly and
another command center is being built there presumably for
floating to another island.
 Now when the first science vessel
pops out, two siege tanks twelve marines and the vessel move
out into the center of the map. Almost as soon as they are up
the ramp one of the many zerglings Medics has sent on scouting
missions runs into the terran party. The zergling dies quickly
but not before it transmits the movement of terran troops to
its cerebrate. Medics sends four lurkers and about ten
zergling that had been guarding the choke at the terran squad.
The lurkers attempt a push into the infantry while the
zerglings take hits get in cheap shots at retreating marines.
Four more marines and four of those sexy medics our zerg
friend is so keen on arrive and prevent this harassment from
doing serious damage. The tanks siege now and with the science
vessel to give them sight the lurkers are forced to
retreat.
 With the science vessel to show
that the lurkers have left, the terran infantry pushes
forward. They move down the ramp across the bridge and into
Medic's main. Some of the m&m finds some zerglings
cowering in a corner. The zerglings realizing that they are
trapped charge the troops and surprisingly kill two marines
despite medic support. I look at Medics' base. I see a queens
nest and a hive. Ahh the little zergies are on crack now. This
ought to be interesting.
 It occurs to me now what the
zerglings were doing in the corner. They were hiding, trying
to flank the terran squad. there are four lurkers hiding in
the northern corner which have not been discovered yet. Medics
now sends about ten hydralisks and fifteen zerglings at the
terrans from his base while bringing the lurkers down from the
north. Unfortunately he underestimated how quickly his troops
would die to the m&m and unseiged tanks as all of the
hydras and 'lings were dead before the lurkers finished
burrowing. The lurkers barely got a shot off before they too
died to the terran army. Now another science vessel has
arrived and both have begun irradiating hydralisks and
overlords.
 Eight hydralisk charge but they
lose horribly to the two unsieged tanks and twenty or so
marines that are gathered in Medics' base now. The tanks
finally seiged and immediately cracklings begin pouring in
from all directions. The cracklings try suiciding themselves
on the tanks but the marines are killing them too quickly. As
the infantry gets lured into Medics' base they lose a few
marines to lurker spines but the last couple lurkers finally
fall. JPaikman's two tanks are sieged in the base now and the
science vessels fly freely over it.
 Just as cracklings
finally take out one of JPaikman's original tanks, two more
arrive. JPaikman irradiates his own science vessel and uses it
to kill off drones. I_Hate_Medics, sick of this nonsense,
concedes the game despite his remaining expansions.
Thoughts
on the game: Zerg v Terran is rough especially on a big
map where early 'ling harassment is difficult. I think that
Medics should have used his lurkers when he had them. He scout
JPaikman several times so he probably knew that the terran was
behind on tech for a while. If he wasn't going to use his
lurkers he needed to tech to something else quick. And not
just cracklings. Defilers would have been nice, or queens or
even guardians. Of course science vessels eat all those things
for breakfast. By his own admission he didn't macro very well.
Perhaps more troops at the right time would have helped. It
also might have been worth it to lose his main and counter on
JPaikman's base. Its usually not worth it to attack a terran
where all his troops are. M&m grows stronger in
numbers.
Thoughts on the map: Acropolis is a
pretty cool map though it is a little big for 1v1s. It can be
fun in 2v2s and ffas though I personally prefer maps which are
less
symmetrical.
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 uh William? I mean I know its cool
that you like to do these battle reports and all and you
wanted to fit in a few extra background tiles but the series
is over.. Well yes the story could have ended there but it
didn't. We were sitting in the channel discussing the three
game series and how much the last game sucked for Medics when
some little devil took over my fingers. I'm not sure where he
came from but he got in my fingers and made me type one short,
simple and evil phrase; "best of 5?" Well it took a little
while for the two to realize what I was referring to but when
they finally figured it out they quickly agreed. Well Medics
somewhat more quickly than JPaikman.
I already knew from the last map
dispute that I would never get these two to agree on a
different ladder map so I suggested creating on a Math.random() map and
surprisingly, after I explained what this meant, they agreed.
I guess the evil you don't know is better than the evil you
do. I went to my broodwar map directory placed my mouse over
the scrollbar and closed my eyes. When I am reasonably
confident that I've managed to pick a map I open my eyes.
Hmmm.. Orbital Gully. Never heard of it. Well while our
contestants tab out to have a look at it lets get a closer
look ourselves.
It is a
four player 128x128 land map on space tile. The starting
locations are at 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 and 10:00 and each starting
location has a quasi-natural in the clockwise direction. There
are also two expansion in the center and each has two gas
mines. All expansions and mains are on low platform while the
rest of the map is on the just plain old platform level. There
are two ramps into each main, one ramp into each natural and
two ramps into each center expansion. There are also more
whirling doodads than you can shake a stick at.
When the two players have finished
examining the map, they both agree to it. I_Hate_Medics
decides to go back to his trusty terran while JPaikman decides
that against a terran he had best random. When the two share
vision with me, I see that we are in another same race game.
This time two terrans will battle it out to the death.
JPaikman draws the 7:00 spot with Medics in the near by
4:00.
 JPaikman knowing his opponent is
terran goes early gas while Medics who doesn't yet know what
his opponent is gets gas early anyway because he always does.
After this though their build orders diverge. JPaikman pumps
marines continuously out of his one barracks while
constructing a factory, a machine shop and then researching
siege mode and training his first tank. Medics meanwhile stops
marine production early while building two factories and he
builds two vultures out of his first factory before
constructing a machine shop.
 Both players send out their initial
attack at about the same time and the two forces meet at the
top of JPaikman's ramp. Medics' troops consist of six marines
and two vultures while JPaikman has about ten marines two scvs
and one siege tank. Medics' grenade launching bikes cut
through the infantry pretty well but the two scvs actually
manage to help turn the tide in the battle and JPaikman's
forces win the first conflict with one tank, two scvs and four
marines surviving. The troops immediately push forward to
Medics' northern ramp where one of the scvs begins a bunker
while the tanks sieges up. A couple of vultures a marine and
an scv of Medics attacks these troops while the bunker is
being built and manage to kill the last marine just as the
bunker finishes. Now that the tank is unsupported a vulture
gets up next to it plants a spider mine and than scurries out
of there. Though the tank isn't killed by the blast it is
badly wounded and is then forced to endure the humiliation of
losing to one vulture.
 Now Medics begins a command center
at the 1:00 main and a starport at his base. He also adds a
machine shop on to his second factory to begin tank production
himself. JPaikman meanwhile is already sending a second attack
force out. This time it consists of four marines, two tanks
and an scv and is headed for the southern ramp. Five vultures
find this force and start en route and start pounding away at
the tanks before they realize their ammunition would be better
used on the infantry which has gone ahead a bit. They pop the
marines quickly and then "be out" while the first wraith shows
up and chases the tanks all the way back to JPaikman's base.
The scv in the mean time got lost in some doodads and ended up
making it into Medics' base long after the battle was over.
The scv sat there idly for some time undetected before it was
finally killed.
 The first wraith is now joined by
another and together they begin harassing JPaikman's troops
which are not within missile turret detection range. Scvs and
medics are able to keep the wraiths from doing any damage
however and they eventually retreat. Meanwhile though a tank
and a couple of vultures are stationed at JPaikman's eastern
ramp while a marine is stationed to guard the western ramp. A
couple of JPaikman's siege tanks which were being sent out of
the base flatten this marine on the western ramp while a stray
marine of Paikman's is splattered near the eastern ramp
alerting JPaikman of the siege there.
 JPaikman now
gathers five tanks, seven marines and two scvs on top of the
western ramp to his base. Three wraiths find these troops but
one runs out of cloaking energy and is shot down, and a comsat
forces the other two to retreat after JPaikman loses a couple
of marines. Now the five tanks quickly push forward and manage
to all siege in a nice line formation so that they are all
within range of the tanks. When they siege up Medics
containing force consists of three tanks and a couple of odd
marines, wraiths, vultures etc. JPaikman's five tanks siege
within range of two of Medics' tanks and one of JPaikman's
tanks is killed immediately. The surviving four blast away at
a vulture which happens to be in the area. In the second round
of fire JPaikman's tanks are cut down to three.
 But now, nine of JPaikman's marines
charge into no man's land to attract fire away from the tanks.
Three wraiths and a marine of Medics do likewise. JPaikman
comsats quickly and the result is the loss of one tank, one
wraith and a marine by Medics and the loss of three marines by
JPaikman. The other two wraiths retreated at the sight of the
comsat. Two more marines die as they charge Medics other tank
that is within range of JPaikman's tanks. JPaikman's four
remaining marines manage to kill this tank but the combined
fire of the third tank and Medics' two cloaked wraiths that
have returned manage to destroy these marines. The three
surviving tanks of JPaikman's which now lack air defense
unsiege and return hastily to base.
 In the meantime Medics has gotten
his 1:00 expansion online and has constructed another starport
there, as well as a third factory at his main. JPaikman is
still determined to take out the containment though and he
sends four marines, four medics five tanks and an scv straight
at his western ramp. Medics has one seiged just on top of the
ramp and another tank almost a whole tank range back. Medics
also has a couple of wraiths in the area. JPaikman loses on
tank going up the ramp but Medics tank also falls and a comsat
chases off the wraiths for a short while. Now JPaikman's
forces charge the second tank. This time though the combined
assault of the tanks and the two wraiths which have returned
again manage to cut the number of marines down to
three.
 Fortunately the wraiths are out of
energy and the one marine with three medics is able to sustain
indefinite wraith fire so the fighter pilots return to base.
JPaikman's three medics, one marine, one scv and three of his
siege tanks move towards the southern ramp while his fourth
tank mysteriously wanders off towards the northern ramp of
Medics base. The solo tank is quickly overwhelmed by several
of Medics tanks while the southern group manages to kill
several spider mines before they can detonate. Just as
JPaikman's troops reach the ramp six wraiths arrive and kill
the one marine. The wraiths then target the tank as they, the
medics and the scv begins retreating.
 All three tanks die just as eight
marines of JPaikman's arrive to reinforce. The six wraiths
engage the marines killing several of them but losing most of
their number. Now though four unsieged tanks, a vulture and a
couple more wraiths come down from Medics' northern ramp and
finish off the marines. Now JPaikman says gg and of course
doesn't leave the game. I_Hate_Medics who has learned not to
take JPaikman's gg's seriously adds another starport and
expands to the 11:00 natural.
 Medics now sieged tanks below the
ramp in JPaikmans base and begins the push. He uses wraiths to
fly ahead and assassinate tanks and help kill marines which
charge his tanks. JPaikman gives ground as slowly as possible
even lifting buildings occasionally to keep himself alive but
he is running out of time. Now one of Medics' tank finally
takes advantage of one of the peculiarities of this map and
sieges by the western ramp where it can pound away at almost
all of JPaikman's base. JPaikman is now completely hemmed in
and his last tanks soon falls. A couple of Medics' wraith
pilots still not happy with the situation, decide to fly in
and target JPaikman's last missile turret and go down in a
blaze of glory. Despite this loss JPaikman's base is soon
razed. (woohoo spelled it write this time!)
Thoughts
on the game: This game was really exciting. There was a
lot of good terran strategies used. I think the most importing
thing you can get from this game is how powerful wraiths are
against an all ground terran.
Thoughts on the
map: There were some accusations of imbalance etc. about
the starting locations after the game. The fact that you start
out below everything else is kind of ridiculous but I still
think its a pretty cool map. A good alternative to forsaken
valley if you think that map is too
big.
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So it has all come down to this.
One game to decide once and for all who will be the victor and
who just plain sucks. Five games, all that death and
destruction all leads to the one final chapter. Yes folks,
this one truly is for all the marbles.
Well the map dispute which was now
getting quite predictable began this time with JPaikman
insisting we play on Temple. I was about to concede when
surprisingly I_Hate_Medics stepped in and refused to play it
saying that he hated that map. In order to avoid another
Rivalry game I quickly suggest another random map. They agree,
I close my eyes and we're off.
The map, Wasteland is a 128x96
(wider than it is tall) four player broodwar land map on
desert tile. The starting locations, just like Orbital Gully
are at 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 and 10:00. There is one expansion in
between each main and there are no ramps or particularly
narrow chokes between any of the mains or expansions. There is
high ground surrounding each main and expansion and there is
high ground in the center which has two expansion on top of
it. None of the high ground is accessible without
dropping.
I_Hate_Medics and JPaikman join the
game and after they both check to see that the map is to their
satisfaction I start. Medics decides to go terran again
JPaikman once again sticks with random. When the two share
vision with me I see the terran commander Medics at the 10:00
spot with JPaikman drawing the zerg at 4:00 on the far side of
the map.
 JPaikman knowing that his opponent
is terran, sets his mind on lurkers early. He goes extractor,
spawning pool and the lair upgrade as soon as possible, adding
a hydralisk den while the upgrade is going. During this he
tries to beat his teching like a whore strategy of game 2 by
only building two zerglings before he finishes lair. Medics
meanwhile, quite amazingly builds two barracks before his
refinery and for the first time in the series trains a marine
before gathering at least 100 gas. While this is going on much
to JPaikman's chagrin, Medics' scouting scv manages to kill
one of his drones before the other zerg workers can ignite the
terran vehicle.
 The first attack is begun by
Medics' with five marines. They head eastward out of the base
towards JPaikman's encountering and killing a few zerglings in
the middle of the map. This warns Paikman of the incoming
squad but he isn't afraid with his sunken defending all the
important structures. Unfortunately this map has no choke and
the marines manage to walk all the way around the sunken's
range and behind the minerals beyond the reach of the
subterranean tentacle. It looks like this game may be cut
exceptionally short. Fortunately for our protagonist though
there is a gap in the mineral patches and all of his drones
and his one hydralisk is able to get through and quell the
marine uprising before too much economy is lost.
 Not long after
this JPaikman's first lurker finishes morphing and begins
heading across the map. In Medics' base he has about six
marines, three barracks blinking away and a busily churning
machine shop. The lurker encounters some marines at the
outskirts of the base and burrows. After a couple die a comsat
shows the beast. The lurker unburrows and charges towards the
only factory which is located at the southern edge of the
base. The marines follow but the lurker still has half its hit
points left when it escapes under the sand. Medics doesn't
have enough energy for another comsat so he sends an scv to
build a missile turret right next to the factory.
Unfortunately the scv building the missile turret explodes
before he can finish. The marines are then ruthlessly
shredded. Medics now comsats but he has no marines left. His
machine shop has stopped whirling but the factory is not
active. The lurker would shred any tanks made by the factory
as soon as they came out. Checkmate. Two more lurkers scamper
into the base and start pushing to the mineral line. Medics
concedes the game and then watches passively as his base is
overrun.
Thoughts
on the game: Wow, JPaikman won! Amazing. He took a pretty
big risk by not making any troops early so he could tech to
lurkers really fast and it paid off. In zerg v terran you have
to make strong moves in my opinion. Wow, JPaikman
won!
Thoughts on the game: This map is pretty
cool, no choke makes it a bitch for terran and its pretty
small. I think it has rush map written all over it.
What!?! All this was building to
that. A three paragraph lurker rush? Excuse me while I go kill
myself. Well at least Jose won the day. From now on no one can
say that JPaikman has never won a game. Here's proof. So show
the man some respect for God's sake.
Lessons Learned1. Hydralisks
rule!!
2. WilliamWC3 has way too much free time on his
hands.
3. Five games should be in five separate battle
reports because it will never load right this way.
4.
These lesson learned sections are getting kind of dumb.
Game Statistics# of back stabbing
observers: 1
# of pictures that did not load correctly
on your computer: all of them
# of times Picture
Publisher 8 asked me to register it: 2,034
Jose
actually winning in a WC3 battle report: priceless
Special ThanksSpecial thanks go out to
Ricky Martin for his inspirational music, the guy who invented
Velcro and the manager of food services at Washington
University.
Bonus PointsI award Bill Gates
-21,245,234.13 bonus points as interest on his already large
sum of negative bonus points.
I award anyone who
thought the world was going to end at the the millenium -20
bonus points (another -20 for anyone who just said the
millenium isn't over yet).
I award JPaikman,
Jose_the_Monkey, 125 bonus points for finally winning a WC3
report.
DisclaimerNone of the previously described events are
true. All of them were manufactured by the Central
Intelligence Agency to distract you from foreign policy
decisions. You do not believe this however, and if you think
on this disclaimer again you will keel over and die
immediately. Thank
you.
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Author's NoteFirst of all, yes I do have no life. That
out of the way, I've been working on this damn thing for almost a month
now so I hope people can actually load it on their computer. I'm sure it
will take several refreshes even on a pentium III with a cable modem so be
patient. Also I use five different fonts in this report which I'm sure not
all of you have so you can download those here. Just copy
them into your windows\fonts directory. I don't know when my next report
will be be but none too soon I can assure you that. Maybe I should pretend
to retire to generate some more comments... Well I'm outta here.
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