"everything about bob's penis rules"
-CynicalMagician
|
| SNOW *lotta pics!* | | | Author: | | | IP: | gateway.XXXX | | Date: | 03/10/00 11:03 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for |]agomar: 8.6667 |  |
Hello, and welcome to another |]agomar report.
Well, this is my masterpiece up to now, so far as non-text reports go. You have no idea how long
I worked on those crazy pics! That align image html sure is a pain; even after the first three
times it's still an extremely annoying code to memorize, and then I'm always left thinking that
it's all for one tiny little pic that only slightly spruces p this area of the report!
But, putting that aside, this is one of the best 2v2 games I've ever observed ( which would make
sense, since the other two were either 12 marines rushes or 24 hydra owanage ). The players were
great, the map was awesome and the determination of the contestants along with the relentless,
constantly attacking nature with which they defined their fought this war made for a truly cool
battlereport ( at least, I think it is ).
So, um, putting this decisively non-witty introduction behind me ( for some crazy stuff go to my
SC webpage ), it's on to our feature
presentation and the game that will earn me the love of 7 girls and a full grown female goat
( don't ask ).
Before the War . . .
I was hanging out in Nohunters, doing something I don't remember ( probably talking to some
friends, who knows ), zipping in and out of my game in order to paste together some of the big
collages I used on my previous report. Finally I decided not to waste my precious computer time,
and realized the rapid formation of a 2v2, just in time for my to race into the Game Selection
area and frantically type in the name.
My computer lagged.
It lagged bad.
Finally, after some minutes of agonizing, cursing, swearing and reckless profanity, I managed to
enter the match and was allowed to continue as an observer. Seeing the excellent records of the
contestants and the differing races, I quickly consented and the game was off. As the countdown
beeped down to its suspenseful close I readied myself for an intense FFA amongst the frigid drifts
of Winter Conquest, with all three races furiously battling it out onto the very end.
The snowy screen appeared, with the not-so-famed Allane touching down his massive green Command Center at 2:00 and his ally Sqi warping in his awe-inspiring monolithic teal nexus at the frigid 6:00 plateau. Apocalypse [NOW] was christened the Cerebrate of a viscious purple Zerg Swarm at 8:00, and his vile Brother in the Brood morphed in his terrifying Hatchery just below the Terran foe at 4:00. This epic battle that would be fought in the cold, outer reaches of the Kipruli Sector had finally begun.
Opening Blows
The Terran and Protoss allies ( We'll call them Team Green, or simply G ) started out on a supremely confident note. They knew from the start that their enemies were to be Zerg, and both fully understood that if they could make it to midgame on a strong note, they had essentially won. Allane (G) prepared for early infantry followed by a factory-oriented build, while his partner prepared for a similar build with strong early ground forces before teching up to the mighty psionic templar and archons that are the core of any effectice Protoss army.
The Zerg Broods ( We'll call them team Brood, or B ) embarked on a daring move. Warbringer (B) was to create and extremely early hatchery at his natural, along with another in his main, while Apocalypse (B) would cover with masses of hydras and zerglings, pursuing a more conservative build with a 7 pool sunken. If the cerebrates could pull this off, they would have an instant resource and economic advantage over their opponents, a devastating achievement, especially in the early game against foes who haven't had time to tech up to units of mass destruction.
An early scouting probe ( we'll call him Bob ) rambled into the budding Zerg expansion as the pulsing hatchery was roughly half way done, beeped annoyingly then skittered rapidly away in disqust at the growing infestation. This shocking discovery resulted in absolute chaos within team G, with both allies instantly realizing the magnitude of their peril.
Both players screamed at each other to terminate the hatch, yet both found that they not only had absolutely zero forces to spare, but in the time it would take for them to actually assault the place the expansion would already be up and running.
Allane (G) was the louder of the two, and continued screiching for his ally to attack with his non-existent forces until he finally decided to take the initiative, and launched a massive assault of two brave marines at the brown natural, which has now remained unmolested for quite some time.
Unfortunately for him, two marines don't really stand too much of a chance against two sunkens, especially when they are on the 'move' command. The first bloodshed of the war, and the Zerg had emerged victorious!
The Terran was mad. Two of his men dead, just splatters of blood already being absorbed within the ever-changing drifts. Unfortunately for him, the Commander had a denial complex, and so furiously bellowed a bitter accusation at his so-called friend:
Team Green attacks!
But all was not yet over for our Green heroes. Allane (G) vowed revenge, and as soon as two towering factories were deamed finished by his trusty peon foremam and he instantly qued three of the dreaded Terran Tanks. The Executor was deeply angered by the turn of events, and rallied his forces to engage the purple Swarm as his first three dragoons popped out of his triple gateways. At this exact same time, Warbringer (B) ordered an attack on the humans, and so it was that the spiny purple minions sauntered down from their ramp to the vulnerable ramp, just as the Toss legions were on their way. A Starport was rapidly erected in the Terran base, and a dropship soon roared up into the sky before swooping down and loading up the first tank that rolled out of the flickering facotries. The tank was deposited on the cliff just above Brown's natural, then slowly entered siege mode and rained down a barrage of deadly shells upon the hapless drones. Now the bulk of the human army advanced into the choke, with two tanks forming its core, engaging intercepting hydras and slaughtering them with ease.
Sqi's (G) noble Protoss armies finally engaged the purple Zerg Brood, which came as a tremendous surprise to both players and resulted in absolute chaos and lack of micro as both forces desperately tried to get the upper hand in the confusion. Eventually, however, the glorious minions of Adun began to get into their zone and started to slice hydra after hydra to streaks of blood upon the frozen ground, while a templar archives phased in at the Toss main. When a lone High Templar slid ominously onto the scene and psi storm scrackled hideously over the struggling Zerg masses, the battle was truly over. The Green forces cleaned up and continued on their treachorous way.
On the other front, Allane (G) was doing well. All tanks had seiged, and all defending minions had been trampled under the mighty Terran heel. The sunkens had been obliterated, and now the hatchery was under direct enemy fire. However, this was not to last for long, and the human Commander must have known his dream of an early win was truly no more has a couple overlords full of hydras lumbered menacingly over the core of his attack and dropped their deadly cargo. Not all the might of the Terran military could vanquish the Swarm, and the offensive was easily annialated. Yet from the top of the cliff the sole remaining tank still fired its deadly rounds, now heaving amassed over a dozen kills! Even this machine was dealt with, although the brown Brood suffered massive casualties, and now the entire Swarm skittered rapidly off to destroy the Commander who dared challenge the might of the Overlord.
Back and Forth . . .
Sqi (G) was now forced to retreat his legions which were just on the verge of entering the Purple ramp and smashing the relatively undefended main, and rush to save his pleading partner. The Zerg did very well, wiping out the entire human natural with heavy losses, yet were stopped by two valiant marines with support from a nearby medic. The Command Center had also been able to fly away, saving up the 400 minerals that the human Commander instinctively knew would be important to him later on. New Zerg reinforcements poured in, but the Protoss armies finally broke the snowy horizon and charged forward in a rage, slaughtering everything that dared cross their path. Both teams struggled onward, a player in each now badly wounded.
Allane (G) was mad. He had just recently discovered the top center expansion that purple had sneakingly morphed into being, and resolved to smash it into the infested ground. Quickly he loaded up a few newly produced seige tanks along with some infantry, and droppped behind the peon line at the bustling expansion. Utter destruction followed, with Apocalypse (B) being forced right off the plateau with massive casualties at zero Terran losses! This was obviously the most successful and surprising move of the war thus far, and was compunded when another dropship ferried over a lone SCV, which immediately began to contruct bunkers, turrets and later a Command Center. The Center that had been forced to flee from the embattled natural landed just on the ramp, with Allane (G) queing his brave peons to mine from the mineral patches. This action allowed for far better defenses and didn't much impede the resource flow since the natural was such a short trek away through the frigid lands.
The Tide of Battle Changes!
Apocalypse (B) was hurting very badly now, and his ally simply wasn't delivering on his promise to become stronger in the later game. The miserable purple cerabrate was forced to do relatively long distance mining after his natural was blown away by a small terran raid, and things were looking bleaker and bleaker.
Sqi (G) finally decided that he had had enough of this pathetic hoe down, and resolved to blow away his pathetic flailing enemy who had dared to challenge his might early on. The Executor gathered together his masses of zealots, supported by 'goons and templar, and ordered them to commence the long march to the enemy oupost. Warbringer (B), like the expert map hacker he is, had just recently supplied about a group of hydralisks to the morphing hatchery at purple's natural, so when the Protoss arrived they had to fight their way through legions of the sadistic spiny warriors. However, it was to no use, and all resistance was promptly squashed within seconds just as the hatchery burst out of its long morphing slumber. Even spawn broodling from the terrifying purple queens couldn't turn back the rampaging zealots, and the natural was sacked once again, again pummeling the beleagured cerebrate down to near destruction. However, the mighty brown cerebrate did a massive relief drop of countless hydralisks, and when the Protoss minions attempted to ascend the frozen ramp they were quickly slaughtered by a horrific hail of spines and acid.
Apocalypse (B) now slowly, cautiously expanded from his little refuge. He seized his natural once again, and began to replenish his treasury with masses of minerals and gas, using these to mutate a large hydra army from his skittering larvae. Allane (G) was sick of being left out of the war, and so resolved to launch a dual tank push against both ravenous opponents. Brown had been left alone to expand freely throughout the middle of the map, and so now had a tremendous resource intake, which the humans were determined to crush. A division of tanks with infantry support was planted between the two central islands, and soon the massive acrilite cannons began to rain havoc upon the vile outposts. Another tank brigade as planted by the purple natural, which soon was also being ravaged by the leviathan machines. However, Apocalypse (B) was no fool, and he ordered three overlords to load a sinister crago of hydralisks and deposit them straight upon the doomed tanks. All infantry was murdered before the tanks were eradicated, while in the central area of this planet a huge Swarm threw themselves upon the behemoths and ground them to useless scrap metal and splattered blood.
But the Terran juggernaut wouldn't give up. He loaded a dropship with a tank and 4 SCVs and flew over to morphing purple expansion just ahead of the natural, after a casual comsat had revealed the critical information. By the time the tiny force arrived the hatchery had, um, hatched in full oriental splendour, and the lone tank immediately deployed to cause some havoc. A couple hydralisks responded yet the SCVs cunningly reapired all damage while the tank fired furiously at its hideous foes. Now another 4 zerglings were burst from their eggs, yet they were quickly slaughtered, this time by a mixture of fusion blades and twin cannons. Two marines reinforced, and now the hatchery quickly exploded in a torrent of its own filthy blood.
Yet this was to be the peak of Team G's power . . . .
The Tide Turns Again!
The Zerg had endured drops, frontal attacks and stinging, humiliating defeats on nearly all fronts. Yet they had survived. And now, vengence would be theirs.
Warbringer (B) had been building up to this the whole game. In a rage that could only be produced by divine intervention from the mighty Overmind, the brown Brood ordered endless streams of deadly hydras into the great, sagging overlords, which bore down upon the top center Terran expansion and dropped their evil cargo. Needless to say, the base was ground to dust within mere seconds; not a single reinforcing unit ever arrived to battle the obvious victors.
Sqi (G), knowing that his ally's main would soon be under assault, sent some of his plentiful forces to the chokepoint, just as hordes of brown minions burst out of the dark fog of war. The Zerg Swarm was destroyed with ease, at the loss of a single chobo bunker, yet all was not yet over . . . .
Suddenly, a tremendous fleet of hideous overlords broke the horizon over the Terran main, all hanging low in the sky! The spiny brown and purple beasts unloaded their hydralisk crago, which fanned out instantly and hurled mutilating volleys of acid harpoons at the defenseless humans. The Protoss raced into battle, with this final idiotic warning from their ally:
and heroically attacked the ravenous broods, as psi storm sizzled furiously over the snowy landscape. The Forces of Adun were brushed aside with ease, and the Terran base fell easily, one building detonating to dust after the other at alarming speed. For some reason, the commander neevr raised his buildings, but then perhaps he realized it would've been useless anyway.
Finally, Allane (G) begged for mercy, pleading to be allowed to be an observer, because, according to him:
The treachorous fool should never been allied, yet unfortunately he was, and slowly the war reached its close, as Sqi (G) created his first expansion at the 7:00 plateau. The Executor sure was an expand freak . . . .
Layin' the Smack Down!
A slow process of eradication now progressed down the map to the Protoss main. First, Sqi's first and only standing expansion was targeted, with a vicious platoon of brown hydras streaming into battle almost instantly after the fall of Allane. However, even this powerful assault was defeated by brave psionic zealots standing high up upon the ramp, and now Apocalypse decided to switch strats in favour of a massive drop.
The purple economy was right back in shape now, an a great flock of overlords thundered towards the enemy main, over the expansion and straight to the back of the Teal plateau. The Hydras were dropped into battle, and utter chaos resulted, with the Praetor just barely able to push back the assault with generous and extremely lame use of psi storm.
Allane ( note no team affiliation ) was actually trying to get back into the game now, filling up his main once more, yet was blown back and away by Warbringer (B) before he begged forgiveness once more and was reduced to a single control tower and suplpy depot in his primary 'base.' Brown now burst through the ascending chokepoint of the 7:00 Toss expansion, breaking the zealot resistance and razing the entire place with hordes of cracklings and overly sadistic hydras.
A final drop was launched upon the crumbling Protoss plateau by the brown Cerebrate, which met significant success and accomplished the titanic destruction of a number of buildings before being forced back by the resource depleted Toss minions. It was only a matter of time now, we all knew that the end had finally come.
The executor knew it too, and he had some unfinished business to take care of, which he resolved to complete before his legions faded away into the night that is death. The Terran had been bombarding him with insults the whole game, and it was time to show his wrath. Quickly, he loaded a a shuttle with 4 zealots and navigated the craft through the treachorous infested terrain of the frigid map, then dropped in the four brave warriors straight upon the last remaining Terran structures! The soldiers killed them both, and Allane! was eliminated! I've never laughed louder in my entire life, despite the valiant attempts of Drefsab and Nobody to have me choke to death at their holarious reports . . . .
Somebody frame that pic. Post it on the main page of Battlereports.com, anything!
But the war still wasn't over. The Executor bravely remained standing, showing Mark 4ish grit and determination as he rebuilt his destroyed Templar Archives to produce the only unit that could at leats stall his destruction. Yet it was to now use, as streams of hydras that stretched for half the mini map's width raced up the choke and screamed into battle, their horrifying fangs gaping and dripping blood throughout the once pristine cliff. All the glorious Protoss constructs were vaporized into nothingness, and the game was finally over. The Zerg had emerged triumphant at last, and the dynamic of the long battle between the Swarm and it's enemies would be changed forever.
Long live the Overmind!
Epilogue
What a great game, certainly the best of any I've ever watched. This battle took place exactly a week ago, as I was toiling to but together that other report, "InfestedBlade's Epic Crusade." I had to keep deleting pics so I could make way for these new ones!
A couple lessons were learned here. First, always widely space your tanks so they can all fire on each other. A couple terran attacks would have been much more successful had this been done. Second, don't be afraid to tech up. If I had been playing as my favourite race ( Terran ), I would have gone straight for cruisers once I realized my tank pushes just weren't working. Third, kill an offensive hatchery as soona s you see it! That's what Team Green should definately have done, straight away. And finally, always help your partner. The Zerg played together seamlessly, they truly deserve a medal ;)
Good Game guys!
This has been a |]agomar Production
PS expect the Alliance - Part 4 soon!
| |
|
|
|
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
