"One drunk Ukrainian can do anything!"-
Raging~Kozak
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| My Weird Observing Adventures (5 games) | | | Author: | | | IP: | dialup-2XXXX | | Date: | 03/18/00 10:03 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 8, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for [{o}]: 6.9333 |   |
Hi, I’m back (from recovering from the flu) Anyways, I hope you enjoy this report.
Warning: Lotsa pix =]
Table Of Contents:
Game 1: Headless_Clown vs '-()-()-'
Game 2: Headless_Clown vs '-()-()-'
Game 3: Headless_Clown vs '-()-()-'
Game 4: :~CraZy~: vs _KroNe_ and '-()-()-'
Main event-I_Hate_Medics, '-()-()-' and Reporter~USE~ in Three way FFA?
Game 1: Headless_Clown vs '-()-()-'
'-()-()-' vs. Headless_Clown, Observing is [{o}]
Map: Proving Grounds
Starting Positions: '-()-()-' - top left
Headless_Clown - bottom left
Colors: '-()-()-' - yellow
Headless_Clown - orange
(Due to the inability of the human eyes being able to see yellow on white, I have changed '-()-()-''s color to red.)
Headless_Clown started with a build order that went like this: 8 drone = Spawning Pool, 10 = Hatchery at natural. '-()-()-' had his Hatchery built at the natural first then got some gas. Headless_Clown then summoned up 6 zerglings (this was like at least 7 minutes into the game, not at all a 'ling rush) and went to harrass with all of em. Now Proving Grounds is a medium sized map. But the starting positions are as far away from each other (at the corners) as possible. Then you have to walk over bridges that lead away from starting locations and wind past all these weird doodads. So all in all, it's a pretty bad map to walk on. Now when the 6 zerglings got to '-()-()-''s base, it was probably 8-9 minutes into the game. But '-()-()-' was totally undefended. He frantically tried to put up Sunkens and rid the zerglings with his super drones but to no avail. Of course, '-()-()-' not liking the idea of dying to 6 lings which wasn't even a rush, demanded a rematch.
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Game 2: Headless_Clown vs '-()-()-'
'-()-()-' vs. Headless_Clown, Observing is [{o}]
Map: Proving Grounds
Starting Locations: '-()-()-' - top right
Headless_Clown - bottom left
Colors: '-()-()-' - blue
Headless_Clown - red
(During this game, I had a feeling of deja vu.)
Headless_Clown started with a build order that went like this: 8 drone = Spawning Pool, 10 = Hatchery at natural. '-()-()-' had his Hatchery built at the natural first then got some gas. Headless_Clown then summoned up 6 zerglings (this was like at least 7 minutes into the game, not at all a 'ling rush) and went to harrass with all of em. Now Proving Grounds is a medium sized map. But the starting positions are as far away from each other (at the corners) as possible. Then you have to walk over bridges that lead away from starting locations and wind past all these weird doodads. So all in all, it's a pretty bad map to walk on. Now when the 6 zerglings got to '-()-()-''s base, it was probably 8 minutes into the game. But '-()-()-' was totally undefended. He frantically tried to put up Sunkens and distract the zerglings but to no avail. Of course, '-()-()-' not liking the idea of dying to 6 lings which wasn't even a rush, demanded a rematch (or at least I did, I wanted to BR something =]).
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Game 3: Headless_Clown vs '-()-()-'
(During this game, I had a feeling of deja vu.... again.)
'-()-()-' vs. Headless_Clown, Observing is [{o}]
Map: Proving Grounds
Starting Locations: '-()-()-' - top right
Headless_Clown - bottom left
Colors: '-()-()-' - blue
Headless_Clown - red
(During this game, I had a feeling of deja vu.)
Headless_Clown started with a build order that went like this: 8 drone = Spawning Pool, 10 = Hatchery at natural. '-()-()-' had his Hatchery built at the natural first then got some gas. Headless_Clown then summoned up 6 zerglings (this was like at least 7 minutes into the game, not at all a 'ling rush) and went to harrass with all of em. Now Proving Grounds is a medium sized map. But the starting positions are as far away from each other (at the corners) as possible. Then you have to walk over bridges that lead away from starting locations and wind past all these weird doodads. So all in all, it's a pretty bad map to walk on. Now when the 6 zerglings got to '-()-()-''s base, it was probably 8 minutes into the game. But '-()-()-' was totally undefended. He frantically tried to put up Sunkens and distract the zerglings but to no avail. Of course, '-()-()-' not liking the idea of dying to 6 lings which wasn't even a rush, had to deal with it =].
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Game 4: :~CraZy~: vs _KroNe_ and '-()-()-'
Prologue
:~CraZy~:, as you know is pretty good. He was watching a game with me (_KroNe_ vs '-()-()-') and saw that they sucked so much that he had to make fun of em (who can blame him? They suck hard =]). So he challenged them to a handicap match. :~CraZy~: was confident going into this game. He decided to break down the opposing team's concentration by makin fun of em a little more. As comments such as "you are a gay whore" and "man I bet even [{o}] can beat you guys" derived from :~CraZy~:, the team of '-()-()-' an _KroNe_ visited the Tao-Of-Gaming site and looked up some gosu strats to attempt to beat :~CraZy~:. They also tried to download some hacks but that turned out to be a disaster because with the hacks came little horses from Trojan. That delayed the game an hour as I helped _KroNe_ and '-()-()-' to get rid of the pesky viruses. Finally, I made on the Temple that used to be Lost and we started off to a heck of a game.
The Start:
:~CraZy~: chose Terran, the race he is gosuest with. _KroNe_ stayed as random and got Protoss while '-()-()-' chose his best but sucky race, Zerg. :~CraZy~: started off with the normal 8 supply depot and 10 barracks. He is a great multitasker as I learned. It's amazing how he can still throw taunts while cloning scvs. Some taunts were "_KroNe_ likes to suck my 18 inch dick" and "'-()-()-' looks like a bra". Getting more intimidated and more frightened of the gosu :~CraZy~:, the team of _KroNe_ and '-()-()-' decided to suck more than usual. '-()-()-' actually built a Spawning Pool before another Hatchery in a 2v1 while _KroNe_ didn't do the "gosu Mark4 invented double gate on 12" starting build order. Just for disobeying the rule of doing Mark4's starting build order, _KroNe_ deserved a spanking. And he might recieve one too, as :~CraZy~: continued to be gosu and built a bunker, yes a bunker, behind the barracks to be really gosu. Meanwhile, my fellow observer, PikaFlare aka. AirBlade, continuosly typed "crazy is gosu, krone is gay, '-()-()-' is bi". Of course _KroNe_ and '-()-()-' disapproved of this kind of talk from someone who really sux so they attempted to rape AirBlade thinking it was, as the saying goes, "killing two birds with one stone". They could rid of the foul language that was directed at them. And they also could finally experience the feel of a dick (since they had none). This plan, unfortunatley for them, did not work because I used my tae-kwon-doe skills to fend _KroNe_ and '-()-()-' off and even got in a few insults as they fled to their two bisexual dads. While _KroNe_ and '-()-()-' recieved comfort from their "mom" and dad, :~CraZy~: decided to end the game for '-()-()-'...
The First Offensive, from :~CraZy~: of course. (The End of '-()-()-'?)
:~CraZy~: sent 5 marines and 4 scvs to lay the smack on '-()-()-''s, once again, undefended base. :~CraZy~:'s force entered rudely into '-()-()-''s base while the sound of :~CraZy~: screaming "I am straight and you are not" echoed in the background. '-()-()-' during this attack, actually almost got lucky, while the marine's shots were, from time to time, off target due to '-()-()-' running toward the marines saying "do you want to feel me?". As I laughed at '-()-()-''s suckiness, _KroNe_ actually mustered enough brain to try to help. He sent two zealots at :~CraZy~:'s base, hoping it was left undefended for :~CraZy~:'s main force was at '-()-()-' feeding lead to drones. Unfortunatley, this was not the case as _KroNe_'s zealots ran straight into an awaiting force of 4 marines in a bunker and 2 marine's doing the moonwalk on the poor zealots. The marines, with the help of the bunker, quickly and easily microed the zealots back to Aiur. Meanwhile, the marine/scv attack force had suffered only one casualty while the Zerg lost all the drones. The marines the proceeded to shoot at the Spawning Pool while the SCVs "attacked" (or mined) the lair. _KroNe_, miraculously, mustered enough brain again (yes, twice in under 6 minutes he does something right) and decided to help out his ally '-()-()-' by sending a squad of 4 zealots. Unfortunatley for _KroNe_ and especially '-()-()-', zealots are pretty slow without the upgrade and after a year or two, the zealots finally rid of the marines that peskily was whacking '-()-()-' out of the game. Then the zealots proceeded to slash the SCVs to death. Too bad for _KroNe_ though. He lost 2 zealots to microed SCVs. Yes that is how good :~CraZy~: is. And that was the end of the first attack.
The Second Attack: (The End of '-()-()-' for real this time?)
:~CraZy~: was steadily teching and producing units at the same time. On the other hand, _KroNe_ was only getting units while '-()-()-' was quickly teching with STILL no units or defensive structures (this guy never learns). So :~CraZy~: decided to attack again. 8 marines and 4 medics slid into '-()-()-''s base stealthily. Then, seeming like it was from nowhere, :~CraZy~: advanced his forces. Meanwhile, _KroNe_ had finally teched to templars, but instead of getting High Templars and storm to counter M&M, _KroNe_ acquired Dark Templars, also a reasonable counter to infantry but also gives map control and recon. Not to mention its really annoying to face. 3 DT slashed away at newly trained marines at the bottom of :~CraZy~:'s ramp. :~CraZy~: had a few words about this. Then _KroNe_ thought he could be clever (which he is not). _KroNe_'s DT ran up the ramp to cause havoc in the mineral line and possibly some buildings. :~CraZy~:, the gosu guy, denied this with force. 
6 marines, 4 in a bunker, 2 outside were and of course a turret were waiting patiently for the pesky DT to run into them. The DT put up a strong fight. One (whoa one) marine died as the three DT went up in blue flames. Meanwhile, :~CraZy~:'s M&M force was just coming off a killing of an attempted expansion. '-()-()-' had tried to expand while _KroNe_ got his attention but M&M stopped it with haste.
 The M&M squad proceeded with confidence, knowing that their opponent(s) suck(s) and would easily kill this first one off. And kill the force did. No help arrived from the ally of '-()-()-' and without no combat units, the Zerg died a hasty death. :~CraZy~:, the man who always makes fun of people who lose to him in 2v1, had a few words (like always).
Post-Attack: (The Calm before the Storm)
The remaining players in the game now were _KroNe_ and :~CraZy~:. Two friends forced (actually :~CraZy~: was really enjoying this) to fight each other. :~CraZy~: began to tech like a madman. He put up a starport and some more factories. 
Then after the Starport was finished, a Science Facility was built and then came the fearful SVs. _KroNe_ secured his ramp with 3 cannons and had another gateway built. He then started warping in a Robotics Facility when the storm hit...
The Storm (:~CraZy~: with the victory?!?!?)
:~CraZy~: rounded up all his forces and dragged them over to _KroNe_'s mineral only natural. An SCV quickly built three bunkers and the siege tanks transformed into their more powerful form. After the busy SCV had finished the bunkers, an Engineering Bay was built. And most of you can guess what was done with the Engineering Bay. It floated high up and over the cliff to serve as a spotter for the long ranged siege tanks. While the Photon Cannons pounded on the E-Bay, the siege tanks returned the favor by unloading their powerful Arclite Cannons on the Photon Cannons. The Photon Cannons were quickly decimated and _KroNe_ was getting pissed. A Terran guy who is :~CraZy~: (pun intended) vs. a Protoss _KroNe_ is just as unfair as '-()-()-' vs. X'Ds~Grrrr... But _KroNe_ was determined to win. In fact if he didn't win... that would make him feel really sux. So he sent a pack of Dragoons at the containment. Well, as you know, tanks own goons. So I'll let you guess what happened. That or you can look at the nice, sexy picture below.
From the picture, and previous studies, we can conclude that goons still suck vs tanks. And that showed right in this battle. While the Dragoons died, M&M were moving up the ramp and getting ready to protect the tanks. Tanks also rumbled up the ramp, sieging as soon as they first saw buildings. Building after building went down as no dragoons were sent to stop this massive force. And I think I know why. Take a look at this picture.
Great building placement _KroNe_. Anyways, the goons died a horrible death since they couldn't shoot back. The probes tried their best to rid of the forces to no avail. Finally the buildings... well the buildings just stood there taking Arclite Cannon shots. And the champeeeeeene of 2v1 is.......:~CraZy~:.
(Please don't take this game the wrong way. _Losing a 2v1 doesn't mean much... KroNe_ is a very good player. And '-()-()-'... well.... I hope you enjoyed this BR. =])
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Main event: I_Hate_Medics, '-()-()-' and Reporter~USE~ in Three way FFA?
Since I had enough Battlereports of 1v1 games (and one 2v1), I decided to start moving on. Next, a 3 player FFA was on my list. I started spamming in NoHunters (you know the channel where no one plays) "FFA NEone BR". Finally, after a few map problems, we got the game started on the map Aftershock.
I_Hate_Medics = Medics
Reporter~USE~ = Reporter
'-()-()-' = Glasses
What?? (Builds for the freaky only)
The game started off by all participants of this game doing weirdo build orders. Medics started with a supply depot on 8, as usual. But instead of the Barracks in the main, he put the Barracks at the choke of the natural. That followed by another Barracks at  the choke and a bunker to make the wall-in complete. Glasses put up a Hatchery at the natural. The Spawning Pool quickly followed, then 4, yes 4, Sunken Colonies as soon as the Hatchery finished. Reporter made a forge(?) followed by 2 cannons, the finally the normal Gateway. By this time, I'm thinking "what?"
The expanding hour (Everyone loves expansions)
Medics continously started pumping out marines from the two Barracks at the choke. He then built a Command Center as soon as 2 marines finished training. An early expansion for Terran? Personally, I've only seen that on islands. Maybe this is a new strategy. Well anyways, it was cool and I would try to remember it. A Factory was built soon after the CC started. And in the meanwhile, Marines kept coming out of the Barracks. The Zerg, commanded by Glasses, had expanded first of all the players, and now was pumping out drones to gain some more moola. And everyone knows how dangerous it is to let a Zerg power. And this Zerg was powering. Nothing but drones for a long time. Reporter, the last early expander, built his expansion at the top right starting spot, rather the natural. I would personally have made my expansion at the natural. While it doesn't have as much mineral patches as a starting spot, it allows units to arrive or depart at or from the expansion quickly. If you expand at a starting spot, especially as a Protoss, your slowass, dumb units have a hard time functioning their pea-sized brains to order themselves to get somewhere more than 7 clicks =[.
Getting Boring (Getting Boring)
I started to get bored. This game was not moving along. I needed some action to report this game. I said that, and action I got. Reporter, now having two gateways, brought a shitload of goons and DT to Medics' base. Medics' at the time, was building a CC at a mineral only close to him. Reporter quickly attacked that as the calvary came in. M&M with tank backup quickly came to the rescue, so I thought. The Terran force almost bypassed the attack of the Protoss .  It quickly turned back however and disposed of the Protoss attack easily. Unfortunatley, DT proved most of an annoyance, as it took out many SCV before the Comsat Station got to work. Most of the Protoss forces ran for cover when they saw that they were outnumbered. Then the Terran killing team climbed up the ramp of Protoss's expansion. Arclite Cannon met shields of buildings as the Protoss expansion quickly turned into rubble.  All except for the Nexus, for the Protoss, seeing that they needed to save as many buildings as possible to keep up in the resource war, attacked the Terran killing squad with all the had. There, another battle occured. Goons died quickly to tanks as the zeals died quickly to M&M and the DT died to a combination of Comsat Station, Tanks and marines as the Protoss rescue squad perished. The Protoss expansion kept getting pounded. As you know, Medics has great awareness and multitasking, so he made quite a few structures during this whole incident. Starport, two Factories and Machine Shop for each. After the Protoss expansion had died, an SCV came in and built, of course, a CC to further expand his army. Reporter then built a Robotics Facility to keep up with the other two in tech. Meanwhile, we visit a very quiet person so far. Glasses has been powering the whole time the other two armies were fighting. Now he was getting more and more dangerous and started pumping out combat units. Then, he finally got unlucky. Due to the lack of scouting, the Zerg built a Hatchery at the natural of Reporter. Reporter quickly found this out and started attacking the Hatchery just as Glasses' forces started pouring in to protect the Hatchery. Unfortunatley for Glasses, the hydras sent to protect the Hatchery came single file, each one dying before it could attack with its fellow men (or bugs) in force. And all this time, DT were being sent to Medics' base to get him more riled up.
Glasses up to his old tricks again...(A drop)
Glasses has been basically untouched this whole game and was going strong. He was up to the Spire and was getting a Hive in tech. He had mustered up around 30-50 hydras and put them into the Ventral Sacs of Overlords. The overlords approached the base of Medics. It seemed as if Medics was the wanted man during this FFA. The overlords suddenly dropped a shitload of hydras on the west side of Medics' base.  Once again, Tanks saved the day, but a bit late. Hydralisks tore through a few key buildings such as a Starport and some supply depots before the tanks had sieged. But when they did, they made the hydras pay. Hydras turned into chicken when they met face to face with the Arclites and U-388 shells. Soon enough, Medics layed the smackethdown on the hydra drop. OLs were forced to flee as Medics enjoyed his victory by shooting down a few medics for his pleasure (he hates medics you know). While this battle took place, Reporter (remember him?) took the bottom left expansion and Glasses again attempted to take Reporter's natural.
Annoyance (DT and Mutaraids are annoying)
DT continuously ran into Medics' base, pushing him farther and farther over the edge.
After a gang of Mutalisks came in to harrass Medics', Medics lost his mind. He started getting more aggressive. He started off by banging the Hatchery to hell with more Arclite. He proceeded to Zerg's base with a phrase.
The Death of Reporter and Glasses?? (Glasses look out, Medics is angry)
The phrase I dare not repeat said by Medics had scared Glasses so much that even his hydralisks were ordered to pee in their pants. About a control group of Tanks with Marine backup arrived at the natural that Glasses had retaken. The next thing I saw was a Hatchery blowing up. I pushed my mouse up and what I saw frightened me. More tanks had arrived to help out the ones that were originally made to do this mission. 
Lets say about 14 tanks took shots at hydras as marines shot anything that got too close. The hydra force diminished rather fast as the tank/marine force now with an added sv, bypassed the now dead expansion to take care of Glasses once and for all. Glasses got ready for the prominent attack and pumped a lot of units out of each hatch. Finally, the tanks reached the natural of Glasses and was rudely met by... Mutalisks. Unfortunatley, mutas die speedily to marines and thats just what they did. Seeing that if the Marines die, the tanks die, Glasses sent more and more to the attacking force. After a while, the marines finally died and the mutalisks took to firing Glave Wurms at the tanks. The tanks were forced to flee for they had no backup. The SV ran with the tanks, knowing it could not take on 4 mutalisks by itself. But Glasses was not out of the forest yet. Newly trained marines came to save the tanks and they did. Mutalisk after mutalisk died and soon there were no more left to kill. So the tanks again sieged up at the end of the creep to deal more damage. Glasses, again being struck with fear, decided to take the middle left expansion just to be safe. Guardians suddenley popped out of nowhere, to attempt to save the natural and probably the main. Guardians took free shots as marines could not get in range. Luckily for Medics, a very annoying SV stepped up and irradiated the guardians, knowing well that guardians could not hit it. Guardian after guardian went down. And soon enough, Tanks were taking free shots at the natural again. As the tanks got deeper and deeper, they saw some new meat. Protoss buildings!!! Reporter had expanded to a mineral natural just a while ago without anyone seeing. The tanks and marines took care of the expansion easily, with no losses. Then they kept moving on that way. Goliath joined the pack as storms headed toward the Terran attack force. 
Although storm killed many of the Terran units Reporter's expansion died. Due to two reasons. One, the Terran of Medics is just too gosu4him. Two, I dunno why this happened, but a hydra drop was executed on the expansion right at the time the golis came to tear buildings up. Medics quickly apologized. Then he proceeded to rip everything in the expansion apart including the hydras. And of course, there's always a meanwhile.
Meanwhile this destruction was taking place, Medics took the middle left expansion that Glasses had with SCVs(!) and made his own CC there.
A Change in Plans? (Medics, I have a surprise for ya)
At the end of the killing of Reporter's expansion, I had to pause to move my pix to another folder. That's when it struck me. Glasses was half of Medics. Reporter was half of Medics. A 2v1!!! I got back to StarCraft and I declared a 2v1. To my astonishment, Medics agreed to this without a word of protest. He was probably thinking the same thing. Ya know great minds think alike. Anyways, the newfound team of Reporter and Glasses quickly adjusted to each other. Glasses reretook the natural of Reporter. And this is the part when I started laughing. Reporter also was long range mining that expansion since he had no money to build a Nexus. That's where I said "cant get an expansion by yourselves so i guess the next best thing is to share one eh? =]".
There go the expansions.
Now remember that expansion that Medics took with SCV only? Reporter, as you know, is in dire need of an expansion. And he decided that the one Medics is holding now, is the one that suits him. So he brought about...12-24 zeals and whooped the canday asses of the SCV and made the CC burn. 
Of course, Medics is not the one to watch a CC go up in flames. Oh no. Many tanks (and I mean MANY) came to save the dying expansion. And save it did. When the Tanks seemed to be losing the battle, Golis rushed in to save them. Unfortunatley, many golis bit the dust in this battle. When I asked Medics why he didn't dance em he gave a strange response.
The End for Glasses???(again....)
This portion of the game started off by Medics moving his forces in to the natural of Glasses' natural. Medics' forces included many tanks, many marines and 2-3 SVs just to be safe. Glasses, thinking he was ready, got his 6 or so Mutalisks and took shots at marines. The marines made short work of the mutalisks so Glasses proceeded to plan B. He saw that guardians worked last time, so he decided to try it again. 
This time Medics had adjusted.
SVs irradiated as soon as the guardians started shooting their globs of snot at the marines. Soon enough, the guardian force was destroyed and the tanks got back to their old job, pulverizing the Zerg. Reporter made no move to save his new ally, probably cuz he only had about 50 units all which that are probes. The tanks ran over the natural and moved up the ramp to get the main. Glasses quickly saw his (5th?) defeat and said the magic words to stop all pain.
The End
Reporter started making up excuses about how he was watching TV and didn't have full concentration on the game. He also threw a few nasty comments at Medics. I took this as BS and so did Medics. In fact, Medics showed how he felt about those comments. He rammed up around 10 tanks and lotsa marines and took Reporter to school. Reporter left with a "FUCK YOU BITCH YOU HACK". Medics was declared the winner.
Winner: I_Hate_Medics
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All insults, comments and obscenities are all just jokes. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
I hope you enjoyed this report. Rater plz comment on what I should do next time to make my reports even better.
P.S. Some of the things (not important things, like Reporter leaving with a "FUCK YOU BITCH YOU HACK" are not true. All players were good sports...cept maybe _KroNe_. Comment plz.
P.P.S. Non-tahoma fonts in this BR. Rate accordingly.
I'll be back with a vengeance!
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