2) MS Paint edited these pics. I want my Photoshop!

Now that those "items" are out of the way, we can get on with the report.

What can I say? I felt like writing a battle report. Fortunatly, I caught Fox^1 and Fractal_Wave, both well-known, respected people on this site (I think this is asskissing) wanting to play a game. Fractal said he had been on vacation in England, playtesting a game. He also added that his SC skills were rusty. We shall see. 

Fractal then asks for Fox to 1v1 him. All Fox has to say is "I'll get owned." So we enter the pre-game screen. Basically, nothing worth mention happens, except for Fox chose Protoss at the last second (you read right, Fox CHOSE Protoss) and Fractal chose Zerg at the last second. The map chosen is Dire Straits.

Fractal spawns at the 10:00 position with the hatchery, 4 drones, and overlord he is due. Fox warps in at the 1:00 position with the Nexus and 4 probes he gets for picking Protoss, which already surprises me because he is not Zerg. For those of you who need a minimap, I will provide you with one below this paragraph.

Fox's build went gas, pylon, gate, cybernetics core, pylon, robotics facility, stargate, robotics support bay, pylon, and also got shuttles.

As their plans unfold, Fractal and Fox make many witty, humorous comments about their builds and the map.

Fox^1: I have no idea of what im doing.
Fractal_Wave: I did... but I don't know now.

Fox^1: I forgot this was an island map.

Fractal_Wave: Drones are for the weak.

First blood comes when Fox decides to send his first corsair ovie hunting. It gets chased off by a few hydras. Fox then drops a reaver behind Fractal's minerals. Fractal sees the shuttle before the reaver is dropped, so the reaver is able to kill only one hydra before it is taken back up. Fractal's hydras then attack the shuttle, but manage to take the shuttle down to 4 hp, so the shuttle is able to go back to the safety of Fox's main base.

Fractal_Wave: I can't play, so I make jokes instead.

After saying that, and a bit more waiting, Fractal loads up 4 ovies with hydras and sends them to Fox's main. These ovies are intercepted by about 5 corsairs, but the overlords arrive at their destination and are able to unload most of their cargo before succumbing to the little neutron flares from Fox's sairs. After seeing the mass of hydras at his main (and watching 2 zelaots standing guard there die horrible deaths), Fox unloads 3 reavers he had stored in shuttles. The hydras manage to kill all three slugs of mass destruction, but the reavers do their job well and manage to kill all but one hydralisk. Fractal then burrows this hydra, and it doesn't pop out again, as it was soon covered by another two zealots. During this, Fractal is putting up a Hatchery at the 9:00 expansion.

After the bloody fight, Fox goes ovie hunting again, and finds 2 overlords near the 3:00 center exp.

After that, and another short break, Fractal drops 8 or so hydras at Fox's 3:00 expansion. The expansion, guarded by 4 cannons, falls to the zerg, with very few losses on Fractal's side, except a few ovies from corsairs' flares. However, Fractal misses a probe at the 3:00.

The next major battle occurs when Fractal decides to expand to 11:00. Fox sees this and drops 6 reavers (you read right, 6 reavers) at the expansion. If you are even a newbie, you know 6 reavers beats 10 hydras every time, but seeing 6 reavers and the damage they can cause is worthy of a pic. So here ya go. Also, since I haven't given you a minimap for a while, you get a minimap, too. (just trying to fill space)
 

Notice 5:00. Fox has put a Nexus, a few cannons, and a Fleet Beacon there. Fractal, at about this time, drops 5 cracklings there and kills the probes, then starts attacking the Beacon. Fox brings reavers to kill the lings, and just in time too. The lings die, and the Fleet Beacon is left with 51 hp left.

Upgrade Check:

Fox's Upgrades:
Fractal's Upgrades:

I show only reaver upgrades for Fox, because the only offense he has been using are shuttles and reavers.

Fractal finally gets a spire and hatches about 12 mutas and 6 scourge. He sends them at Fox's main base. The corsairs Fox has gathered up engage the mutas, but the corsairs know the dangers that are Zerg Scourge, and attack them as they try to kamikaze themselves into the corsairs. The result of this is that every scourge dies before they are able to knock some sairs out of the skies. Only the mutas remain, and are killed with relative ease.

Remember the buried hydra? Fox finally finds it and kills it with the only thing he has at his main, probes. Fox didn't lose a single probe during the murder, either.

The next battle is fought at Fractal's 9:00 expansion. With the aid of gaywebs from corsairs, Fox manages to drop all 6 reavers on the expansion and turns flesh and bone that is a Zerg colony into little piles of biomass in record time. Some mutas try to interrupt the destruction of the 9:00 expansion, but the corsairs readily assist the reavers and defend them from the muta raid.

After the death of the expansion, the reavers are loaded onto the reavers and attack the Zerg main. It also falls quickly. GG are then exchanged, and Fractal surrenders to Fox.
 

Lessons Learned:
- 6 reavers are a force you don't wanna face.
- Better air would have done Fractal much better in this game. Guardians would (or at least should) kill the reavers, as Fox never even got a citadel during the course of the game.
- Vacationing kills SC skills.

This was a BW-sux battle report. Please comment on the report so I can make even better reports later.