Drefsab's Game

He awoke to the sounds of a sink running in the background. Sitting up, he squinted his eyes open and read the clock. Only 6 AM. It was too early. Who was up so early? He grumbled and fell back to his reclining state. Just about to doze off, he was awakened sharply by jabs to his head.

“Wake up, sleepyhead. You’re going to be late.”
Drefsab didn’t look up. The jabs continued.
“Sleepyhead, sleepyhead, sleepyhead…”
The jabs increased in speed.
“Sleepyhead, sleepyhead, sleepyhead…”
The jabs were starting to hurt now.

He thought for a moment in his mind, and when he estimated the next one was due, he lurched out his hand and caught his assailant’s arm.

“Finally, got you awake. Now dress.”

Still sitting there, he stared at the darkness. He looked around, and he could detect a faint humming of a computer running in the background. Somehow, the fan of the computer had a very nice sound… almost soothing… he closed his eyes. Back to slumber.

A sharp slap caught him in surprise.

“I mean now! If you don’t, no more lovemaking! I can walk out that door right now, o mighty Drefsab, so don’t tempt me. You’ve got games to win! Hurry up! You need to win this ladder season. Otherwise, I’m leaving you. For the last time.”

He stared up at the seductive, yet commanding lady in front of him. Wearing only a bathrobe and her hips swaying ever so slightly, he groaned. It was time to play StarCraft.

He logged onto the channel “Clan ~nohunters”. Currently, there were about ten people in it, including some bots. Typing in “!allseen,” Drefsab was somewhat disgruntled by the show of what he found.

“WarLeaderJustin,” he said under his breath. “Isn’t that that crazy nut that keeps talking about me?” He thought this would be a slow morning, this one.

“Funny meeting you here, chobo-face,” came a whisper from The_Best_Chobo, as he entered and made the channel count eleven. Another person came in and made it twelve.
“Erm, who are you?” asked Drefsab.
“Ha Ha, you a fucking newbie! I love your battle reports! How much crack are you on when you write them? Geesh, do you have a life? Does that whole site have a life?”
“!whois The_Best_Chobo”
He got a message that that command had been disabled. He swore under his breath.
“So, fuck face, you want to go 1v1? I’ll beat you to the ground."
Drefsab thought about it. Did he really want to play a lamer?

“Um, yeah, that’s OK, I’d rather sit this one out.”
“YOU CHOBO! YOU SUCK! YOU FUCKING SUCK!”
He was just about to type in /squelch The_Best_Chobo when the other person who entered the channel spoke.
“Just let him play you. You’ll stuff him easily, Dref.”
“WAR/WAR,” typed in Chobo.

Arriving at the game, Drefsab watched and responded to Chobo's inquiry if he was ready. He needed to win. Or at least psyche up his mind. She was driving him crazy. He had to bring in a win. "GL, HF," was all Drefsab typed as the countdown started.

Drefsab received the race of Protoss. His nexus stood proud at the 3 o’ clock starting positions, one of the more balanced. He built a pylon, a gateway, a second pylon, then another gateway. Immediately after, he sent out his probe to gather valuable information. His probe went counter-clockwise until it arrived at the 6 o’ clock position. His enemy had chosen random and had gotten Zerg. The base looked… empty though. It contained a spawning pool, 5-6 drones, and a single creep colony. He noticed that Chobo hadn’t even started mining gas yet. What was he doing?

Suddenly, it dawned upon him. This was an expansion! With going for an expansion this far away, he should’ve also expanded to his natural!

600 minerals early on is a lot of minerals, Drefsab thought. I could probably shut the bastard down right now. But, that would just be too easy.

He sent a force of about 6 zealots to the new expansion at the 6 o’ clock. When he arrived there, that creep had morphed into a sunken colony. The Zerg opponent offered no more resistance, as his expansion fell. Drefsab was proud. He had beaten back one of the most annoying kinds of players: an expanding whore on a stick. He smirked and cleverly typed in, “Expansion DENIED.”

The_Best_Chobo: Nice hack. Try hacking more, plz, thx, gw.

Drefsab ignored the comment and continued to tech up. He now incorporated high templars for his force, and moved down to see if he could wrench the natural expansion away from Chobo. The expansion was heavily guarded by what seemed like a number of 36 zerglings and four sunkens. His heart raced as he selected each high templar and cast bolts of electricity into the air.

The_Best_Chobo: Holy shit. Damn, PvZ is imbalanced like hell.

He fidgeted at this seat. This was too easy. He must have more forces in his base. Either that, or his opponent was very stupid. He was opting for the later.

The_Best_Chobo: Dammit, you fucking hacker! Hackers are lamers!

The_Best_Chobo has left the game.

Drefsab couldn’t believe what happened. Had he just played the stupidest person? Reviewing the Overview, he agreed with himself that he had. He almost doubled the Chobo in all sections. It was a very lame excuse for a game, indeed.

Entering back to the channel, he looked at The_Best_Chobo, who was off spamming that Drefsab had hacked into a game just to get a win. Disgusted, Drefsab typed in, “I beat you, Chobo. Now why don’t you just confess to your loss?”

With that, Drefsab logged off. He didn’t feel like beating another one.

I’m not a killer. She wants me to kill. She likes it, not me. But, I’m doing the killing. All I want is a normal life. No high expectations. No more killing. I’m not a killer.

Look for Chapter 2 in a few days. Hopefully.