Act 2 : The Fall of Captain-Buttram

Upon killing the lurkers, TerranGod immediately orders a counterattack. He gathered his +1 attack upgraded marines [ this is bad. Against lurkers, you should get +1 armor. ] and a few tanks to begin clearing out the containment, using a newly built science vessel as a detector. Meanwhile, his wraith harrased peons at the upright expansion.

Captain, realizing the most cost effective way to combat terran is through containment, sends 12 hydras to help stop TerranGod from advancing on top of his ramp. Unfortunately for him, TerranGod nicely spread out his troops in a semicircle beneath the ramp, killing everything in a nanosecond. Nevertheless, Captain attempted containment again, this time a small distance away from the ramp. After his Hive finishing its morphing process, he tried to expand to the downleft expansion spot.

TerranGod wasn't done owning this pathetic newbie, however. Since his main had just dried up, he continued the onslaught towards Captain's base. After taking care of the containment, losing only 1/2 a marine and completely decimating Captain's new expansion, TerranGod quickly pressed on to kill Captain before adequate forces and defences were built. A quick scan in Captain's main revealed that he had roughly 4 control groups of lings and hydras, nothing a marine and medic force can't handle, right? Before he attacked, he built two Command Centres to gather precious minerals, one at the newly destroyed expansion and another at the center of the map.

Captain's initial 12 zerglings that he sent were quickly torn into pieces. Knowing that he has to defend this attack or die, he used the same tactic that TerranGod used earlier; killing units as they come down the ramp. As luck would have it, Terran God moved his troops slowly, not as a whole mass. Therefore, even though he d-matrixed and sieged his tanks and stimmed his marines, he still lost quite a few units. However, this still wasn't enough to stop him.

In short, pic #1 : TerranGod's first few units getting owned by hydras and zerglings. Pic #2 : The rest of his troops coming down from the ramp and killing the zerg forces. Pic #3 : His army that survived. Roughly half died. The zerg had no upgrades whatsoever, while the terran infantry had only +1 attack.

As you can see, Captains troops got totally owned. His main was now completely open to assault. But, if you are observant, (which I guess you're not since you're not as gosu as me) you might notice that Captain's troops at his upright expansion did not retreat to defend his main. What last trick might he have up his sleeve?

Deciding that it will be useless to defend his main, Captain instead sent his remaining units from his expand to attack TerranGod. It wasn't much; roughly a dozen hydras and half as many zerglings marched towards TerranGod's base. On their way, they came upon the Command Center at the center expansion, and destroyed it with ease. Then they continued to TerranGod's main.

What was TerranGod doing all this while? Well, he ignored the units, and continued killing the zerg base, hoping that his marines at home could take care of the threat. How much did he have? A grand total of 6! Man, his macro is so damn gosu. Anyways, his supply depots in his main were placed in such a way that they formed an artificial choke. He then proceeded to use vultures to mine the area. Actually, this tactic works well against melee units, but unfortunately, since the hydralisks were forced to clump together and not spread out, any mine that revealed itself was immediately destroyed without even harming a single hydra.

Captain had rehatched a Spawning Pool at his new main and pumped a couple of zerglings. These he sent to the previously untouched bottomleft expansion. After taking care of the SCV's mining, they proceeded to attack the CC until it was in the red before TerranGod, in his lust for blood, realized what happened and lifted it off. Captain then sent his lings to help his hydras kill TerranGod's main. It has now become a race of who can raze the other's buildings faster.

It was TerranGod's lucky day. The sheer power of stimmed marines and tanks brought down Captain's main before his one was destroyed. After the lings that attacked his expansion were out of sight, he landed his Command Center and produced an SCV. Then, he brought all his war torn units to attack Captain's upright expansion. Alas, he does the same mistake again. He doesn't attack-move his units as a mass, and thus he lost a few marines to zerglings before the rest arrived. However, he just shrugged off the loss and attacked the zerg infestation with 4 tanks, 1 vulture, 3 science vessels and roughly around 10 marines & medics.

Hmm. He microed quite a bit in this battle. Remember his burning Command Center?

Repair plz.

Repair plz.

Good Job.

Ah... =) Finally, the part where the true gayness of these players really shine. Captain, having lots of mineral in the bank, ran as many drones as he could and began building hatcheries at many of the expansions spots. His remaining troops are no match for TerranGod's stimmed marines. On the other hand, TerranGod, did the most utterly disgusting homo pathetic thing ever. Zerg ground units were pouring from all sides into his base. So guess what he did. He lifted off his Science Facility and hid it in corner like the wussy he is.

Well, my friends, here is where the report comes to a premature end. Soon after this, both of them exchanged GG's and vision before I could stop them. Therefore, I declared this match a stalemate. Both players had a good chance of winning... if TerranGod attacked with his forces quickly he would've won, but likewise if Captain used his troops cost effectively and kill off TerranGod's units, he will sooner or later get air and rape that gay facility. :|

The winner (in S Club 7 style) :

Nobody.

I hereby swear that everything in this report really did happen and completely true. Except for the part where I own them. These guys can own me any day of the week. Oh yeah. And I except the part where I wrote the disclaimer too. :P