I'm not going to bore you with the preliminaries, so I'll just cut straight to the chase. Me and CrashTomSnare were hanging around in NH and we wanted to have some fun ^_^ So Crash said he would create a Pubbie game called "Nude Medic Pic" (original, huh ^_^). I joined along with a few other NH people and watched as countless peeps joined and then left and joined and then left, and were all constantly asking how they would get this "pic". After about 3 games with different random lamers constantly leaving we were finally able to get 4 good "Brood War USA" lamers to join and stay. We decided to do a 2 vs 2 with Bizzaro51~GzA~ and Mr.Smiley_=) going up against +[uNcLeDoNnle]+ and .Canadian.. And the winning team would get to see the "Nude Medic Pic" (they are so gullible =).
Just a small note before I begin with the battlereport: If you are in any way offended or hurt by completely and utterly stupid and gay build orders or tactics, then plz, for the love of all things cheesey, leave emidiately.
And with that said, let the games begin:

Well, you can see the starting spots and races from the pic above (yes, you need to wait for the pic to load, ha ha ha!!!), so I don't need to go over that with you. I don't remember who went random and such, but I asume most of them chose their race since they are newbies after all ^_^.
--> Build Orders
UncleDonnle starts out by building a Spawning Pool at his main, then in a very un-newbie like fasion, puts down a Hatchery at his Natural. His partner, Canadian, however in a very newbie like fasion, builds a Barracks, then builds a bunker below his choke and two supply depots above his choke (no wall in there).
On the opposing team's side, Bizzaro does a typical dual Gateway build and pumps out a few Zealots while his partner, Mr.Smiley builds a Spawning pool, then another Hatchery at his main and some sunkens.

Through-out the whole first, say 20 minutes of the game there was very little action, so all the players continued to go about their mary little business. Canadian kept being completely gay and was building bunkers and supply depots all over the map, and he was only building marines, that's right, ONLY marines. His partner, UncleDonnle, was not being gay and was, from what I could see, going for a lurker drop, while putting down two evo chambers for dual upgrades (although he doesn't even use them for most of the game). On the other side of the map, Mr.Smiley wasn't doing anything in particular, he was building up hydra's, zerglings and building more Hatcheries. Bizzaro seemed to know what he was doing, however, as he had expanded to his natural finally, and had a lot of Goons and Zealots.
All players continued to build until UncleDonnle finally broke the silence and dropped Mr.Smiley with about 5 Overlords full of hydra's:

His attack worked out quite well and managed to stop Mr.Smiley's mineral gathering for a while and destroyed several of his buildings. Fortunately for Mr.Smiley, he had just expanded to his natural and didn't lose too much mineral mining time.

Also, as you'll notice from the minimap in the pic above, all those blue dots towards the middle or the map, well, guess what those are.

Wow, this guy sure is Gosu, who else would think to build bunkers and supply depots all over the place?? And who else would think to build JUST marines??? Man, this guy is just full of usefull strategies. Even after he sends in some marines to attack and gets owned by DT's, he still is only building marines, he doesn't even have a comsat. Whew! And then when I comment on his Gosu playing style I get this:

Enough of that, obviously the ONLY person doing anything smart on the "Random Lamer Team" is Canadian's partner, UncleDonnle, who has just loaded up some Lurkers and is preparing to drop Bizzaro's main.

However, even UncleDonnle is a newb and instead of coming in with his Overlords from the west he sends them in from the east and straight over Bizzaro's Expo, which gives Bizzaro time to organize his goons for the oncoming asualt:

Even though UncleDonnle takes heavy damage from the goons before he can even drop the lurks, he does manage to drop about 7 before his Overlords are destroyed. And with these 7 Lurkers he still manages to do some damage but his attack is squelched before any real damage could be done

After this UncleDonnle and Canadian finally decide to do a quordinated attack. UncleDonnle starts morphing some Muta's and Gaurdians, while Canadian continues to build up his gay Marine army, and finally puts down a factory, and gets about 4 tanks.

They decide to attack Bizzaro in hopes of taking him out of the game with their massively gay attack squad type thingy.

Although it initially looked like this was the end for Bizzaro reinforcing Zealots and Mr.Smiley's Scourge are able to beat off the attack with Bizzaro only losing his natural and a lot of forces.

It's now time for Mr.Smiley and Bizzaro to strike back, they've been getting attacked the whole game and haven't gone on the offensive yet and things are looking pretty grim for them. But that doesn't deter them as they gather up forces and assualt Canadian. And actually manage to destroy him and win the game (yep).

We all watch as Canadian floats his buildings over to his partner, where he is no longer welcome because of how much he sucks ^_^ So his partner, UncleDonnle attacks Canadian's buildings and he is eliminated. Yay ^_^ The gay one is gone! However, it isn't long before the "Ultra Chobo Team" runs over UncleDonnle too.

- .Canadian. is the biggest lamer I've seen in weeks. He was discing me left and right whenever I would say something. If you ever run across him plz challenge him, then own him and make fun of him. Thx gw.
- This game was so f*cking funny I was laughing my ass off at some points, wish you all couldve been there to laugh at them (mainly .Canadian.) too.
- Obviously Dark Temps > Marines
- If you were one of the people in this game and I made fun of you in some way, plz tell me by emailing me here: yousuck@l4m3r.com because I don't give a shit ^_^
- Oh yeh! I almost forgot, at the end of the game it was funny but neither of the winning players asked about the Nude Medic Pic. Heh, I guess they forgot, otherwise I would have probably just sent them some hentai pic of Sailor Moon or something ^_^ heh heh.

This has been a:

Quote of the Day (not from this game though):