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-Mark4


The Adventures of Mark4 and Hawk: Jack9 and Kidd, King and Queen of Spamelot
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Author:Monty Pylon
IP:gateway.XXXX
Date: 03/30/01 08:03
Game Type: Other
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Report Rating: 6.0, # of Ratings: 2, Max: 6, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for Monty Pylon: 6.0390
Greetings to all my fans at BR.com. I have fun and interesting things to bring you with my newest fan fic. This one is dedicated to the one and only Jack9 and his replays. Kidd and his bullshit and the finest superheros known to man. There are also cameos by some of your favorite BR.com personalities. Hope you enjoy.


Na na na na na na na na Mark4
Na na na na na na na na Mark4
Mark4 Mark4
MARK4


The Adventures of Mark4 and Hawk: Jack9 and Kidd, King and Queen of Spamelot



The sunny day over BR.com grew cold and cloudy as evil raised its head. The airwaves were now packed full of transmissions of terror as endless bounds of replays and spam posts crammed every nook and cranny in BR.com. The good citizens of BR.com were helpless to stop such evil and could not go about enjoying the regular posts that these spam posts had blocked. Commissioner Vegas saw that the situation was grim and knew he needed to call the tag team of might and right, known as, Mark4 and Hawk.

The call was sent, but sadly there was no response. The commissioner was very confused and did not know what had happened to the dot com dyad. Little did he know, but both were at the superhero convention at Drefsab's new site and they knew little of what corrupted their home sweet home. Meanwhile, both Kidd and Jack9 celebrated their success and planned to finish their plan by destroying the few that stood before them. They were well aware of the convention and planned to destroy the whole spectrum of super-friends. Mark4 and Hawk would go first and Kidd would finally have his revenge against Drefsab who had embarrassed him so long ago.

"This plan of ours is brilliant. Soon, the site shall be ours and the super-friends shall be no more."

"All I care about is destroying Drefsab. He will pay for what he did to me all those months ago."

"You never did tell me what happened between you two."

"It's personal, I don't want to talk about it."

"If you get it off your chest you'll feel better."

"I said I don't want to talk about it!"

"No need to get nasty with me I just asked if you would share."

"Well I don't want to share okay, and I am not getting nasty with you!"

"Then why are you yelling a me?"

"I'm not yelling at you, I just don't want to talk about it right now."

"Fine, but sooner or later you are going to tell me."

"Well now is not the time, am I making myself clear?"

"Yeah, very clear. Bitch."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Let's talk about something else."

"Fine. What is the plan to eliminate the super-friends?"

"At Drefsab's site, I have planted a bomb that will destroy both them and the site. Mark4, Hawk, Drefsab and all the others will be gone and we will have free reign over the site. Nothing can stop us now, in one hour, the super-friends would be super dead."

The two let out a loud and evil round of laughter as they waited for their plan to unfold. Meanwhile, the super-friends had finished yet another busy meeting and the group was about to part ways and defend truth, justice and the American way. For Mark4, Hawk, Drefsab, Badtz Maru, Wang and Cynical Magician, they were given the task to clean up.

"Holy landfill Mark4, were in a mess!"

"I know Hawk, but with our super powers, this should be a piece of cake. Wang, could we have some cleaning music?"

"Sure thing Mark4."

Wang was one of the original super-friends and had the power of bass to his credit. His suit was equipped with sonic boom boxes and he thrashed his enemies with the metal sounds of Metallica. The soundwaves these boom boxes emitted were strong enough to level a building. For now, they were low enough to provide concert sound at a low, low price.

"Hey CM, could you take care of the trash?"

"No problem, I shall create a vortex that will suck the trash into oblivion."

CM was known as The Cynical Magician. He was five hundred years old and had practiced the ways of the black arts. He did not remember all of his spells correctly, but he could conjure up a few good explosions. Even if he didn't want to.

"Stand back everybody, I am opening the vortex. Cortex, morlada, abrada, ala peanut butter jelly sandwiches."

"Hit the dirt", yelled Mark4.

BOOM!!!!

From his hat came a huge fireball that vaporized the trash on impact and tore a hole in Drefsab's couch. CM had also revealed the bomb that had been stuffed inside the pillow. The fire did not destroy it and they could see it counting down. Quickly, Drefsab grabbed the bomb and through it into CM's hat. The bomb exploded, but the hat held its ground. Once all had settled, Drefsab handed the hat back to CM.

"Good thinking Drefsab, but how did you know that hat would stand the blast?"

"With all the explosions coming out of CM's hat, I figured it had to be indestructible."

"Who do you think planted it?"

"I'm not sure Mark4, wait the bomb case has some writing on it."

"Jack9 and Kidd were here."

"So it was them, we have got to warn our sites that they are on the loose. Who knows what they will be up too."

"Good idea Drefsab, Hawk and I will call BR.com right now."

Mark4 tried, but found that the signal was jammed. Sensing trouble, the super-friends went for the genius known as Dr. Awesome. Besides being a doctor, he was also a really cool guy and always gave them cool weapons to play with. The team arrived and Dr. Awesome was waiting for them.

"Where have you guy's been? I have been trying to reach you for hours."

"What has happen?"

"Kidd and Jack9, that's what happened. They have polluted the air with their spam signals and have jammed all communications."

"They must be stopped, but how can we find them?"

"I was able to send a carrier signal and trace the source of the transmissions. They have set up their satellite on top of Mount Strifeshadow. You must hurry before they become too powerful."

"You heard the doc, let's move out!"

"Before you do, take this Fractal Wave cannon."

"What does it do?"

"It shoots out quotes and the victim is helpless as he laughs."

"Thanks doc, you are so awesome."

"Well I try to be."

The super-friends headed straight for Mount Strifeshadow with pain on their mind. Wang adjusted his boom box to the "ass whoop" bass and Badtz Maru charged up his penguin power. The Mark-mobile crested the top of the mountain and saw the twin terrors overlooking the horizon. The squad jumped out and prepared for battle.

"Mark4, Hawk, Drefasb the super-friends? How could you survive?"

"It will take more than one bomb to kill us Jack9."

"I see, note to self plant two bombs next time. It is no bother to us that you are here. You see, your friend Drefsab has a habit of pissing people off. We have a few friends of our own, you may know them as…THE CLAN OF THE DEAD."

The clans jumped out from behind the bushes and looked ready to turbo newbie the super-friends. Mark4 pulled out the Fractal Wave cannon and began to lay down some serious one liners.

BAM…."Steve's attempts to mind control an interceptor prove futile..."

BAM…."Ronin~ has been sending his factory across the map and
constructing machine shops at random places to amuse himself,
because he is a imbecile."

BAM…."Mark Vegas is NOT Johnny Vegas' bastard son."
BAM…."Muhaha!! I am Evil Eye Laser Man!"

BAM…."Canada > YRM"

BAM…"Rock beats scissor, but cruiser beats zergling"

BAM…."Starcraft is a great way to determine the overall value of people and
the country they live in"

BAM…"Fractal_Wave: YES, Quote me! Quote my ass upside and down. I
wanna be the site quote whore. You rule. "

With that last quote, the whole clan was sent laughing to the floor. With their enemies incapacitated, the super-friends began to go praying mantis on their ass. Mark4 and Hawk broke it down old school as Wang unloaded with some pumped up One, Enter Sandman and For Whom the Bell Tolls. CM used his magic to flame roast a few clansmen and Badtz used penguin power to put the CoD on ice. Without backup, Kidd and Jack9 were alone and outnumbered.

"Give it up, you can't win."

"We will fight to the last."

"Then you give us no choice. Ht them with the cannon."

Mark aimed well and fired two shots.

BAM…."Hell is a very big place. Big enough for me to send his entire army
there."

BAM…."Siege. Unsiege. Move. Siege. Fighting that waskly D-Web."

The shots bounced off the two fiends and the super-friends could not understand.

"Why did it not work on them?"

"Have you seen our posts? Do you really think we have a sense of humor?"

Jack9 hit a button and his painfully boring audio echoed across the mountain. The super-friends were brought to their knees and they began to loose consciousness.

"Holy organism Mark4, we're really fucked!"

"Don't worry Hawk, I will conjure up a tornado to sweep them away. Marlada, ocknor, beta, ala peanut butter jelly sandwiches!"

A dark form appeared above Kidd and jack9's head and the duo was trapped as their fate descended upon them.

"JESUS CHRIST IT'S A COW!!"

Yes the bovine bomb landed square on its target and the two were out like a light. The super-friends recovered and hauled them to jail. Another fight won thanks to the super-friends, Mark4 and Hawk.

Na na na na na na na na MARK4



























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