I die twice, buying nothing, and the third time I respawn, I buy the deadly, but ever so … deadly AWP, and get in my lethal position.

The first few rounds, the VIP is shot down within the first few minutes of the game, so, the next round, I arm myself with a USP pistol and an AWP. Well, I don’t know the map very well, and after I get my head from out of my ass, we’ve already won the round. Great.

Next round, the game is mine. The highest scoring Counter-Terrorist thinks it’s funny to pop his head out from out of their underground respawn. It’s not funny. I bam his fucking brains out, and he goes flying back behind the metal crates, thus preventing me from getting a body screen shot of his dead, decaying corpse. Oh well.

The round after that is even better. I wasted only one AWP bullet, and I decide to go for it, and buy two more clips of my secondary. And, God, am I a genius, cause the same CT decides once again to pop his stupid head up, face me, and die like the goody two-shoes he is. Bow down before my USP, you reloading colt newbie!

Feeling a little dizzy from my kill that I got from a gun other than the AWP, I go and sit down in the tower a bit, with an AWP. I train my sights on the ladder, and surprisingly, it works. The VIP climbs up, his halfway up the ladder, and I shoot the VIP-ness out of him. No screens for this, but I swear my heart and hope to lose all my porno.

The round after that, I do what I was born to do, and camp with the AWP. Tending to the marshmallows, I notice that a few CT’s are gathering down there for some camp songs. Well, I can’t have that, no sir, so I load up my AWP and go hauling some CT ass.

Shortly after I add two fresh CT heads to my collection of many, many CT heads, a smart CT climbs up the ropes, just as I’m reloading. I manage to get one USP shot on him, but as you can see, I was caught with my Arabian underwear down… or whatever the hell Arabs where underneath their khakis. Yeah, and I got the Arab blown out of me… go fig.

The map changed a couple rounds after this, and my final stats were 5-3. Bow down before my winning record. That’s all I’m going to say, because I probably shouldn’t say more, because I already sound stupid, and saying more makes me sound more stupid.

There I go again.

-WarLeaderJustin Hope you've had a decent read ^_^!