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"I own ..(Myst).., no wait I don't."
-Frozen~SCV


1v1 wc3 style
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Author:TastyCake
IP:A010-000XXXX
Date: 04/25/02 02:04
Game Type: Warcraft 3
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Report Rating: 7.0, # of Ratings: 1, Max: 7, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for TastyCake: 7.0000

Alright, this is my first report, and like just about every other BR, it was done in the wee hours of the morning.
I was bored as hell, so i thought about everything i could do. Go to bed? No.....Go drive around the rotary until i get sick? nah.... write a love letter to Martha Stewart? hell no..... so that left me with only one option...... go play some WC3.


If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

I started up the game, hit the 'Play Game' button, and was matched up with a delightful fellow that went by the name of Azeroth who went Orc, and myself, TastyCake, who went with the oh-so-sexy Nightelves.


We were sent to the map of Lost TempleIf Oranges ever evolve to the point which they are blue, will they 

still be called Oranges? , and i was given a hella sexy Tree of life at the 9oclock, and i plopped 4 of my wisps into the gold mine, and sent to start on a Moon Well( Supply building, now able to restore health/mana of any close by unit). I sent another wisp to gold, started on my rax, decided i needed some lumber so i made 2 for wood, then set another wisp to build my Altar(Used to summon heros or bring one back to life).

Now i was itching to see what Azeroth was up to, so i sent out a wisp to scout around, so i bade him farewell on his merry way clockwise around the map.

While my wisp was busy scouting around, my altar and rax had finished, so I pumped out a few Archers, and for my hero, i choose the DemonHunter. Hes mighty sexy....i mean uhh,hi

I had 2 Archers at the moment, and more on the way, so i set the rax waypoint to my hero, and off they went to secure an expansion.For some reason, my keyboard smells like almonds...



Now while i went off to secure the gold mine to the north of me, my wisp was slowly going around to map, searching for Azeroth and his green-skinned Orc Horde.
I found nothing at the 12 oclock, or the 3 oclock, and my little wisp was approaching the 6, knowing what he was to find.

And so it happened poor willy the wisp stumbled right into the base of Azeroth, and was killed by a lone grunt. Now even though the death of willy brought me to tears, his sacrifice did allow me to see his rax and a coupleof orc burrows.... but no troops......i didnt like the looks of that. Either he was a total newb, or he was out causing trouble.

And my fears were well founded, because while i was killing off the last of the creeps near my second gold mine, Azeroth decided it was a nice time to attack. His hero was the Farseer(spellcaster Hero, weak but has nice spells), and included in his spell list is a spell that can summon spirit wolves. He summoned a few spirit wolves, and had a grunt or two attack my nearest Moon Well


So i ran back as fast as i could with my DemonHunter and now four archers, and chased him away with some nightelf goodness.

Look at him run! HA!



All is now quiet, so i set about setting up another Tree of Life near the new expansion to start getting a better income rolling in. Ive teched up to huntresses now and im pumping them out along with archers, and my upgrades are nearing 2-1, so i decided to go and check out what Azeroth is up to.
But i never get the chance to reach his base, because on the way there i pass a grou of grunts and are heading towards my base, so i turn around and manage to chase them off without too much damage, only losing a single Moon Well.

does anyone else find pole dancing midgets attractive?



So i set about rebuilding my Moon Well, when i hear the dreaded 'our base is under attack', and i look up to see my expansion being attacked by the grunts i drove off with added numbers..... so i charge onward with my force of now 5 huntresses, and 6 archers.

you people are so stupid you make my ass twitch....

But im too late, and i get there after my Tree is gone :-(, but i do manage to kill most of them, and have a bit of peace.... for the time anyway.

So now i take my force out to strike a blow to the evils of the Horde(a dramatic phrase which means im going to attack), and head towards where his expansion is thought to be. And im in luck, with a low troop count due to the battle i won at my expansion, his was guarded with hardly any resistance. I have fetish a with jello... does that make me a 

bad person??
Alright, i had two choices: push on into his base, or wait a bit to strengthen my numbers. Well, the lazy bird doesnt get the worm and whatnot. So with whatever saying creams your twinkie, i pushed on into his base.

My troops run up the ramp into Azeroth's base, and run into an assorted bunch of grunts and Raiders(Orcs that ride wolves. Fast,siege Damage, and can throw nets to hold down troops.Enough said). My archers and huntresses start to get pushed back due to attacks from the orc burrows(food source that allows you to load peons into, causing it to attack) and raiders.
When all looks glum, your favorite unit and mine, shows up to turn the tide.....the balistae! And for some reason, Azeroth decides NOT to attack the siege weapons, so while occupied with my fast huntresses, my siege units are ripping his men up.

Look ma! im a winnin'!


So with all of his men gone, i destroyed the remaining buildings, assuring my victory.....


Phew! done......i hope that everyone enjoyed that... making these things take alot longer that most would think heh. I hope that the eyecandy is good enough for those without this great game, and hopefully this report wasnt uber-sucky being my first.

Well, until next time......


Moo!!


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