"You guys are funny. Don't play terran vs toss on island= good joke."
-OrcManiac
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| 2vs2 on Lost Temple | | | Author: | | | IP: | h64-141-XXXX | | Date: | 11/08/02 02:11 | | Game Type: | Warcraft 3 | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 5, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for I_am_Nitros: 4.4000 |  | N00b 2vs2 on Lost Temple
A 2vs2... of mine... fought on lost temple... yes.. oh and of course I'd still really like to know how to put a background in... *HINT*HINT*
Mr_Frying_Pan(Red Undead) and Solkanar the meek(Blue Orc)
AGAINST
Jinhan_Jung(Teal Night Elf) and Hjjin the clueless(Green Night Elf
In this vicious battle we see the Chaotic Orcs and the Evil Undead take on the valiant ,great and overall real nice Night Elves, henceforth known as the bitch brigade when I feel like calling them that.
The sides
Frying Pan: Right
Solkanar: Bottom
Hjjin: Left
Jinjan_Jung: Right
The Early Game
Well this game started as any game involving mostly newbies would. We see first the night elves both producing a moon well and an altar of elders followed by more wells and an Ancient of War both selecting the Demon Hunter while the Undead produced first a graveyard and crypt followed by an Altar and Ziggurat, selecting the Lich. The Orcs also included a brilliant opening involving an Altar and War Mill followed by a burrow several golden jubilees of england later and a Tauren Chieftain to follow. Just to show off how gosu he is, Hjjin decides to cancel his moon well before it completes and then decides to show off how punk he is by yelling, "FUCK!" to everyone in the game. Needless to say his opponents must have been at least unnerved by this terrifying display.
Deciding to take advantage of his opponents terror Jinhan_Jung follows up his allies horrific chat antics with a Demon Hunter rush against the, allthough he didn't know at the time, still heroless undead. Arriving at corrupted blight the Demon Hunter was confused by the lack of floating dead guys. No doubt this was a cunning plan by Mr FryingPan. The demon hunter rapidly decided to take out his confused anger on an unfortunate acolyte hanging around. In a brilliant manuever FryingPan orders his l337 acolyte to slap the shit out of the silly demon hunter. Allthough the brave cultist failed in this attempt he cost the Demon Hunter valuable hit points.
Before the crazed purple thing can do any more a most comforting sound is heard by Mr Frying Pan.
"The ancient evil....SURVIVES!", Yes the lich had just popped out of his personal brothel after a long night of something. might be called passion but probably wouldn't.. since undead just aint got no parts. The Lich was most infuriated by the treating of his personal bitch and, calling his ghouls to him, decided, "IT"S OWNAGE TIME". After a futile attempt to chase the lich while being struck with blast after blast of ice and repeated sexual assault attempts by the lumber ghouls the DH decided it was high time to run his ass out of there and used his gay piece of shit worst unbalanced item in warcraft town portal scroll. However in an act of valiant bravery(or monstrous stupidity as you interpret it) Hjjin's demon hunter arrived at the scene to do what he can against the fiendish forces of the Lich. After receiving a cold reception with a blast of frost nova the demon hunter attempted to run but was surrounded and cut down by that same group of horny ghouls. All this time, Solkanar had been building his now horrendously powerful army of 5 grunts and a tauren chieftain. After a quick rest both the orcs and undead crept their naturals and the disgraced Night elves moved to creep the middle with their burgeoning huntress armies.
END OF EARLY GAME HERO LEVEL REPORT:
Mr_Frying Pan: Lich 4
Solkanar: Tauren Chieftain 3
Hjjin: Demon Hunter: 3
Jinhan_Jung: Demon Hunter 3
Mid Game
Both teams decided to make the observers decide it was probably more involving to watch 'sesame street' by spending their time creeping around and doing bad things to unfortunate creeps. By the time the Night elves had finished destroying every creep in the middle the orcs and undead had finished off the creeps around their goblin merchant, goblin laboratory and all the creeps in the top right corner. At approximately the same time the Orcs and Undead both decide it's high time they got some severely and utterly UBER gold income and expand to their naturals while the Night elves creep their naturals with wisps hanging behind ready to deliver extra sexy yellow gold to their coffers... or tree houses... or wherever they keep them. Right after this act is accomplished, both night elves decide that a keeper would make their huntress armeis much more all natural and the Undead decide that an extra sexy Dreadlord would make their army look good.
All except the orcs, who continue to pump grunts and build a grid of approximately a googol of towers around their bases, began to improve their selection of units at this point with the NE preparing dryads to go with their huntreses and the undead making a mix of banshees and necromancers. After deeming their strikeforce to be ready, the NE returned to the site of their previous disgrace to do right unto the vile undead. An acolyte sentry placed on the ramp leading to the undead base was the first sign of the mighty bitch brigade army sent to do battle. After a quick skirmish a few huntresses and some ghouls fall and skeletons appear to cover the undead retreat to their base sporting a full collection of 3 spirit towers and a black citadel. Seeing the threat the mighty orcish army of 10 grunts and their monstrous hero sets off disdaining the use of gay ass scrolls of teleport. Smashing into the fortifications the huntresses and ghouls battled to a standstill while the Keepers and the Lich unleashed their magics repeatedly. The wimpish DH's and Dreadlord sat behind the lines waiting for their oppurtunity, however after the mighty huntress army began to turn into skeletons the DH's soon had the oppurtunity to show off their gosu skills but ironically were murderized by Frost nova before killing any more than five skeletons. Seeing this Keepers decided that the Undead could have this part of the wild and ran their huge disgusting asses away and down the ramp, only to run into some very unfriendly orcish assailants who administered the sacred coup de grace unto the half horse freaks.
END OF MID GAME HERO LEVEL REPORT
Mr_Frying_Pan: Lich 5, Dreadlord, 3
Solkanar: Tauren Chieftain 5
Hjjin: Demon Hunter 4, Keeper of the Grove 3
Jinhan_Jung: Demon Hunter 5, Keeper of the Grove 3
Late Game
Rapidly getting together an army via tri crypts and tri temples the undead decided it was time to unleash some most utter and severe wrath upon the upstart Elves. Within about 2 minutes of the attack the undead were moving north to crush the expansion of Hjjin along with the orcish force which had lost absolutely nothing to the excuse for an attack by the elves. Arriving at the expansion the undead found 2 dryads to resist their advance. After literally beating the snot out of them(I think that's what the stuff that comes out of dryads head's when the die is...) the Lich gained his valued level 6. Just to be extra l337 the undead hero decides to use death and decay on the expansion and within 25 seconds there is nothing left but a large and very angry night elf force just arrived to deal with the threat. While have of the elves decided to face the attackers, the other half decided to be all sneaky and go attack the orc natural. Unknown to the elves at NO point has Solkanar stopped building towers at his expansion and now has 20+ all ready to lay total and complete waste to the poor dryads and huntresses who are unable to pull back before at least 3/4's of their force is gone.
Meanwhile the battle seems to be going well for the wand of negation equipped NE since the winner is destined to be whoever has the most breasts. But the banshees decide to take things into their own ectoplasm and begin using their dreaded master ability to gain more breasts for their force as quickly as possible. Within moments, the 10 banshees under the undead command have gathered a respectable force of 18 boobies. Outnumbered in boobage, the NE are forced to fall back where a flanking Orcish Surprise Party seals the night elves fate. More banshees called in from the undead brothel continue to add more and more boobage to the undead force and seeing how vastly outnumbered in sheer weight of breasts, Hjjin and Jinjan_Jung resign in digrace.
Yes I've waited a long time for this moment...
Le GG
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