So Anyway...

I go by the handle SiX5532ONE, and this is my second report. I chose to report under this name because I've been using it in Brood War so long that my friends call me Six no matter what handle I choose.

This is a curse in many respects, as I am often forced to endure such lame-brained comments as "Hey, wouldn't 654321 make more sense?" and "Hey, Number Guy :O" (to which I reply "No" and "Er-Der-Der-Der", respectively).

I was never one for introductions, so may I dispense with the pleasentries and present to you...

Introduction

DISCLAIMER: I found this game funny. However, it is pretty newbish, and I'm reporting it out of a sheer desire to see a new WC3 report on this website.

The game-type was Two vs. Two with random partners.

• Team 1: SiX5532ONE, random Night Elf at 12 and BileDriver, chosen Orc at 9.
• Team 2: DarkLichKing, random Humans at 6 and Chingon007, chosen Orc at 3.

The map was The Lost Temple:

The Game

Click here to skip to the action.

I start off with my normal NE build: 3 wisps on the mine, 4 enqueued, an altar, and a moon well positioned at the foot of my base. As soon as I start my well, BileDriver announces his intentions:

Now when it comes to creeping, I'm a true believer. There are a few principles that I think apply concerning the rush in WC3, and they are pretty god-damn obvious:

• First: You should always be able to stop a rush. If you can't, you need more practice. However, this is complicated a bit in random 2v2 because you have to rely on your partner for help, and your partner may suck ass.
• Second: Creeping gives you an advantage in experience and economy, so you're open to faster teching and better hero usage.
• Third: Never rush on Temple unless you are playing gay orcs with towers and grunts (and I don't consider Hero harrassment a true rush).

Since my partner is so adament about the whole affair, I build for a cheesy and imbalanced NE Huntress/Archer Rush. This used to be the only build I really knew in WC3, so I have the whole thing pretty polished. It eventually earned me a hot chick as my ladder icon, but since I didn't have the self-esteem to admit to myself that my online alter-ego was a female, I started randoming all the time. I digress.

So anyway, I figured that my ally was most likely a turbo-newb, so I decide that the best way to win is to keep the team alive and prevent him from getting his ass kicked. It's called Solidarity, Baby!

BileDriver starts his build with a single burrow, en queueing 7 peons.

I round out my initial build with an Ancient of War and two Moon Wells (in case I get rushed), while BileDriver continues to play WC2, building a Barracks and a War Mill before laying down his altar.

Feeling a little uneasy by the time my Demon Hunter comes out, I scout to 3 to find the other chosen orc sitting in his base with a Blade Master and a grunt. I don't feel so bad, as the Demon Hunter with three moon wells and an archer is an easy counter.

BileDriver feels the weight (or do I mean wait?) of his tragically slow build as his altar completes. He now has 2 production buildings, but no supply left to sustain either his hero or a single grunt.

Rush Rush Rush...

I should also point out that he chooses to upgrade spiked barricades. We all know how valuable that is in an offensive assault. As his shiny spiked burrow completes, he trains a grunt and a Farseer (Not that it matters too much at this point).

Waiting for the impending rush, I take my Demon Hunter and 2 archers to the gnoll creep at my entrance to the temple. By this time, I have a hunter's hall upgrading my attacks and a second Ancient of War building. I continue to creep through the temple, building Huntresses all the while. I level up on the second creep, and opt for evasion (my level 1 spell being immolation).

BileDriver starts a Watch Tower, and sets out for his massive assault with his Farseer and 2 grunts. Shaking my head, I map alert to the temple where I've already begun to creep, but he just continues to the 6 main:

As BileDriver enters the 6 main, I find myself under assault by our opponents' forces, consisting of a Blade Master, a few grunts, a Paladin with Divine Shield turned on, and a gaggle of gay footmen. It's funny how this always happens when I'm creeping.

I rush in as the underdog with only my Demon Hunter, 2 hunts, an archer, and a half built Ancient Protector. For once, I am thankful for my partner's retardedness as his attack on DarkLichKing's main warrants a town-portal.

Let that be a lesson to you: check for your opponent's forces before using a town-portal. DarkLichKing could have easily sent BileDriver running to mommy with a simple call-to-arms.

With the human out of the picture, my worries are eased. As Chingon007 attempts to ruin the siding on my new Hunter's Hall, I focus fire on his Blade Master. The attack provokes another town-portal, and the Blade Master escapes with his life and little else.

Today We Kill, Tommorrow We Die

At the 6 main, DarkLichKing struggles to fend off the awesome strong-arm that is BileDriver, casting his Divine Shield at about 68 hp. He kills a grunt, and then focuses on the Farseer. Swearing on the name of Uther Lightbringer, the noble paladin strikes the Farseer's skull, causing an instant brain-hemmorage accompanied by a violent and uncontrollable bowel-movement. The stench is too great for his trusty wolf to bare, and beast and master fall to the earth in a melancholy embrace. The Farseer is slain.

But just then, DarkLichKing's Divine Sheild wears off, and his intestines become Alpo for the remaining Spirit Wolves.

It occurs to me that I am surrounded by assholes, what with the shenanigans and goings on. Being the clear leader of our team, BileDriver issues a command:

I race to the 6 main, setting my rally point just outside of the 3 natural, roughly halfway between my base and his along the safest route. Seeing as my fealess leader entered from the top, I decide to flank the position. You know, to mix things up?

Moon-glaves slash through the footmen's armor, and all are slain. The Paladin's Divine Shield expires, and he is killed again as my Demon Hunter's immolated blades pierce his stomach, causing his screams of pain to be suddenly silenced by an eruption of boiling vomit that shoots out every available cavity in his skull.

Now, I target the innocent civilians, who arm themselves at the local town hall. All of this happens as Chingon007's battle-weary Blade Master and Grunts arrive on the scene to aide their forlorn allies. Deciding to momentarily pause the ritual massacre of all things militia, I target the Orc hero. My Demon Hunter moves with uncanny precision, slicing once at the feet of the Blade Master and bending back with another thrust, decapitating him before his body hits the ground.

It isn't too long before my forces are overwhelmed at the hands of hungry militia and savage orcish grunts. I the militia fiendishly hack away at the Demon Hunter, ultimately forcing a necessary town-portal at roughly 40 hitpoints. I escape with 4 huntresses, and am able to rejuvinate with a dip in the moon well.

DarkLichKing is amused by my retreat, but I shake it off. It's go time, baby! With another huntress and 3 archers waiting at the rally point, I quickly set back out to finish the assault.

My army lays waste to everything in sight, including the peasents, militia, grunts, and a couple of towers that Chingon007 decided to erect for some reason. The Blade Master is brought down once again by the focus fire of my huntresses like Hugh Hefner at a Lilith Fair concert.

And with this, DarkLichKing begrudingly concedes (Actually, I had to kill his Paladin again)...