A Mercenary Born: Part II
It's Pr0be again! But this report will be better, it has huge cool pics, a background, and more text than ever! Yay! OK, if you haven't read my last report, please don't do so now. I'm hoping people will forget about it. Well, I'm going to stop stalling now and go on to the report, so get ready. Now.
After the last mission on Halloran, we didn't make enough money to buy anything good. Also, nothing good was available on the Free Market. I decided to take the Posse back to Halloran and do a few more missions for a nice fat paycheck.My employer is Transpax Corporation, they're pansies. Trust me.
 It seems I need to defend an Oiling Rig, this is the first of about three missions of this type. I take my Wolfie, stick Gator and Shredder in Cougars, and put Hannibal in our salvaged Hellspawn. Our mission is to boldly go where no man has gone, wait, no our mission is covered in the next pretty picture to ogle.
 I'm in my trusty Wolfhound again. I love that thing. I scrapped its crappy Medium Pulse Lasers in favor of Extended Range (ER) Medium Lasers. They have more range, do more damage, produce more heat, and fire a lot slower. But they're better, trust me. I kept the X-Pulse Large Laser, it's one of the pimpest weapons in the game IMO. In MW there are three types of weapons, Lasers, Missiles, and Guns. Lasers fire fast, don't require you to lead the target, do good damage, and produce lots of heat. They don't need ammo. Missiles take ammo, and come in three flavors; LRM, MRM, and SRM. LRMs are Long Range Missiles. They can lock on, and they fire super far. SRMs generally can't lock on, unless you buy Streak SRMs. These babies lock on, and kick ass. SRMs are Short Range. MRMs are the middle of the pack. They can fire longer than SRMs, but shorter than LRMs. You can buy Streak MRMs too. They generally fire a greater amount of missiles, so they suck ammo like nobody's business. Enough with retarded explanations! On with the boring BR!
Alright, I set off towards Navpoint Alpha at full throttle, which is about 90 kph in a Wolfie. Not bad. The only thing there are a few shitty Patrol Boats and Barges. They quickly die horrible burning painful deaths. I keep going to Navpoint Beta, where Condor and Harrasser Hovertanks are engaging that 500k Bonus Oil Platform. I run into the base, and smash the Condors with my feet o death. Then I dash back down to the shoreline and pick off the Harrassers with my Lasers. Next I get a message that a Carrier is inbound and it's launching fighters. Damn. It turns out the fighters are Nighthawks, fast little buggers that fire LRMs and then outrun your lasers. My allies, due to insane AI targeting skills, take the annoying things down. One blast from a Small Laser can take them out, they seem to use toilet paper for armor. Now our buddy the Reynolds comes out. He's a ship, a big ship with shitty weapons.  I methodically circle around him, taking poor screenshots of the action, and trying to fire my weapons on the joystick while controlling my torso twist and throttle. I easily took him down, and the mission ends.
 As you can tell by my poorly edited picture, (My editing tools=Paint+Photo Editor) I now have 13 million to spend. Also, I got a mention in the news, w00t! Steiner likes me now, which is OK I guess, and my nobility has gone up. Nobility? We're a coldhearted merc group, we don't need no stinkin nobility! I expect the Posse to assassinate their mothers for a few hundred C-Bills. Bah. Our Unit strength is kinda low, probably due to the fact the Posse owns 5 light mechs. Hmmm. Instead of buying new stuff, I take another stupid Halloran mission. This time, I'm escorting losers. Peachy. I drop down with my lance, and I'm following these slow artillery tanks around. My objective is to take them to Alpha, and then Beta. They are really annoying, and I'm afraid I'll step on the stupid idiots. Here's a huge ass collage to show the action.
Wow that's a big pic, eh? Alright, we make it to Alpha safely, and then at Beta we run into some crappy tanks. The Artillery panics, and stops. I yell at them to keep going and I take out the tanks super fast. Now we have to hold their hand and walk them to Gamma. WTF, it said Alpha, Beta, you're done. The Posse reaches Gamma, and mechs ambush us. These too are easily smashed with my uber Wolfhound. I have to take my time though, because I nearly step on the losers many times. The Artillery pisses its pants and freezes until I order them to keep going on pain of death. Now we have to go to Delta, and I'm getting ticked off. The same thing happens, but I don't step on my dumb little convoy. Next we have to go to a base, and we reach it easily. They tell me to repair, but my mech doesn't seem to fit in the bay. Figures. Later I learned that you power down outside the bay and they bring you in for repairs. Oh well, I keep going. It seems the base is under attack and the convoy needs to enter a dropship. The dropship could defend the base on its own, it has really powerful weapons. Anyway, I take out the attackers, and the dropship blasts off.
Oooh, pretty picture. Had enough of my report yet? Too bad! I take yet another defend the harbor mission. There are three, and this is the second. It seems the Pirates are still bugging Transpax, and if the dumb pirates would just hire me, they could get the job done. It goes the same as the last one, only this time enemy mechs come in. Luckily, we get our own air support from Stilettos, which I got a picture of. Yay! Two carriers come, the Arlo and the Harrington. Sadly, the Arlo died before a picture was taken of it. The Harrington quickly met the same fate. I make more money, and hire Scrapper and Claymore. Hannibal manages a half-lance of himself and Claymore, while Scrapper takes Hannibal's old spot in my lance.
For every mech you take on a mission, your drop fee goes up. Bigger mechs cost more too. I'm only taking one lance of light mechs, so the drop fee is light. In my other game, taking two lances of Heavies can cost over a million. Yowch. I start out in a forest, and my radar picks up some Calliope Turrets in the distance. Luckily they can't see me. Calliopes are nasty turrets, capable of ripping you open. For this mission we're skirting around the turret grid and entering through the back door. In SC Terms, an Arb just warped in 20 goons behind your wallin. GG. What followed next has been described by me as the Battle of the Bushwacker. I like Bushwackers, don't get me wrong, but this one pissed me off. HE WOULDN'T DIE! We killed a few Chimeras (not flying dragons), and about a million light tanks, but this stupid mech wouldn't lay down and die. Here's a huge ass pic to show the action. (Surgeon Pr0be's Warning: Users should not view this pic if they're prone to seizures, or are currently pregnant. Thank you.)
Whew, and to think I've got an even bigger one up my sleeve (if Pr0be's have sleeves.)Alright, during this battle, I sniped the Generator and took it out. Then I put the smack down on everyone, including the Bushwacker, and blew up some fuel tanks. Fuel tanks piss me off, usually they blow up when I go anywhere near them. But this time I sniped them from far away! BWAHAHAHAH!
When the Wacker finally died, it was missing its Left Torso, Right Torso, and Right Arm. The only thing not in the red was its head. Red means almost no armor left, blinking red means you're hitting electronics. As of today, I am still puzzled as to how to hit a mech's head. 99% of the time if you think you're gonna hit its head, you're not. OK, we finally beat the mission. I get a new mech, guess what it is? C'mon guess! I'm mostly stalling here to fill up a big ugly blank space while you scroll down to see what my new mech is.
That's right, a Bushwacker. This baby is packin' a Gauss Rifle, second only to a Clan Gauss Rifle, second only to a Heavy Gauss Rifle. Ok that's a lot of seconds, but who cares. Let's divert our attention from that awe-inspiring weapon to the small figure in the lower right hand corner. See him? The guy with the guitar? That's Sancho, our resident Mexican. Recently we interviewed him for this BR.
Pr0be: So, Sancho, why do you always hang out in our Mechlab?
Sancho: No hablas English. Me llamo Iguardo.
Pr0be: TRANSLATOR! What the hell is Sancho saying?
Translator: Sir, his name is Iguardo, and he doesn't understand English.
Pr0be: You're fired! His name's Sancho! Sancho, how long have you played your guitar?
Sancho: ME LLAMO IGUARDO! ESTOY MUY ENOJADO!
Pr0be: Yes Sancho, I enjoy tacos too. I'm sorry but we're running out of time, I have to cut this interview off.
Ahem, OK. Enough of Sancho for now. Back to the pimp mech! Ok, it's got a CSTRK6, a ERLL, a GR, and a CSTRK4. Confusing yes? I've already covered the Gauss Rifle, and the Extended Range Large Laser is a beefed up Medium Laser (duh). The CSTRKs are the Streak SRMs mentioned before. This mech owns, really hard. See the heat bar? Heat is bad, to get rid of it you get more heatsinks. I like to run my mechs hot, at about 50% heat efficiency. This mech is running at 75%, so it won't get much heat. It's also not carrying any heatsinks to get rid of, so I can't change it. No more fried eggs in the middle of missions I guess. Damn.
 I decided to finish off the Halloran missions by taking the last one. Transpax is evacuating, and they need me to cover their pansy asses while they run away. Upon entering the mission, a guy gets on the comm channel. He introduces himself as Corporal third class Schmidley, and he has a whiny, stuttering, Southern accent of a pimple faced seventeen year old working at a gas station. No shit. I want to blow him up, but I decide against it. No need to put a damper on the paycheck. This mission goes the same as the last two, only we don't get air support and no carriers come in. This time, mechs attack, but they aren't very powerful mechs, and are quickly swatted. The Uziels are OK though, and I can't wait to salvage them and use them for the Posse. Some bitch named Dragonfly messages me that I'm gonna die cause I ticked off some Admiral. I shoot her shitty helicopter down and she screams. Hehehe. This mission is quickly over, it turns out Transpax didn't need to evacuate cuz we saved their hides. Oh well.
Ok, this report is almost over. I just need to cover the Solaris Arenas. The neat thing about Solaris is, transport to it is FREE! Yay! There are three arenas there, with four weight classes each, Jungle, Factory, and Coliseum. You can enter Light, Medium, Heavy, and Assault class mechs. At first, you can only go to Jungle-Light. Beating it opens Jungle-Medium, Coliseum-Light, and Factory-Light. I will cover my Jungle-Light Battle. In arenas, you can dedicate your victory to Steiner or Davion. I picked Davion because I need more points with him. 
I enter the battle in my Wolfie, and dispatch my first enemy. Next I head towards the hot tub, where everyone is hanging out. Omg. A flea. Someone is piloting a flea. Dumbass. I'll let you see for yourself.
I blow the flea's leg off for the fun of it and then take him apart. Next I turn on the last guy and destroy him. This wins me the match. For every kill, you get 200k extra money, so I had 3 kills netting me 600k. I notice that my money is off the scale, so I buy a couple new mechs. The first one, a Thanatos, is ok. I give it to someone else. The other one though....
A Black Knight. Oh yeah. It can only mount lasers pretty much, so I stick a few PPCs on. PPC=Particle Projection Cannon. Think of a Psionic Storm Laser, or Psi Storm in a bottle. They can fire farther than Gauss rifles, and they totally screw up electronics. If you get hit by too many your mech overheats and shuts down. Awesome. Sadly, during the testing of our PPCs the resident Mexican, Sancho, was vaporized. We hired Paco instead. He plays a banjo and is our resident Spaniard. See him? Good.
Well, this is the end of my BR, I hope you liked it. I'll do another one pretty soon detailing more missions, the kick-assness of my Knight, more Solaris games, and an interview with Paco the resident Spaniard. Please comment! Suggestive criticism, advice, death threats, OMG I LOVE TEH REPORT, and flames welcome. Except flames. And Death threats.
Pr0be, Commander of Pr0be's Posse, signing out.
-Pr0be |
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
