The map is, of course, the typical Lost Temple. Those of you not familiar with it should get out from under that rock you've been living under for the past five years. I warp in a teal nexus at 12, while Flavor lands a red command center at 6. Our two observers, T_T-Mierada and endersshadow, float their command centers over various large bodies of water. Though Flavor starts off with a typical terran build of 8 depot, 10 rax, 12 refinery, and a 16 supply factory, I prefer to start the gayness right away, and thus get a pylon at 8, gate and assimilator at 11, and two offensive pylons at 12 and 13, respectively, obstructing the construction of Flavor's wall.

As soon as Flavor's first marines are produced, they immediately start attacking one of the pylons, and unfortunately due to my utter lack of micro, my probe dies before it can create an offensive gate. By this time, at a mutual 18 supply, Flavor had completed his first factory and was working on a second, while I had two gates and a cybernetics core up and running. When Flavor's second factory finished, he started pumping vultures and tanks from both, while researching seige with his lone machine shop. I began producing dragoons and zealots as a counter to Flavor's predictable behavior. Flavor began construction on a starport just as my forge warped in, and he prepared to perform one of his devastating terran drops.

At around 50 supply, both Flavor and I decided to attack at the exact same time, as I sent a complement of dragoons, a pair of zealots, and a probe to Flavor's ramp, while he sent a two-dropship squad of 4 vultures and 2 tanks towards my main. I was able to pierce Flavor's wall before being defeated by freshly made tanks, though the loss was mostly due to my lack of micro. Flavor's drop, however, did not even have the honor of being killed by real units. Both dropships were killed by my photon whoring back at base, and not until I watched the replay did I even notice the effort.

"

I use the lull in combat to take my natural, though just as my nexus warped in Flavor tried to turbo newb me. I defended by quickly shuttling a dragoon and a pair of zealots to my cliff, successfully protecting my natural. Flavor then masses his units in the middle of the map while floating a command center to his natural, giving us an equal number of expansions. Flavor attacks my main with a scattering of tanks, vultures, and marines, and I make the mistake of sending all of my dragoons down the ramp, to have them destroyed by tanks and spider mines. Flavor attempts to advance, but by this time more dragoons with zealot support had warped in, and soon descend to destroy his forces.

Update:
By this time, I've got five gateways with three more about 1/3 warped in, while Flavor has a mere three factories and one barracks. Flavor has virtually all of the terran tech tree minus a science facility and an academy, while I have all basic structures plus a robotics factory and a citadel of adun. We're both at 1/0 upgrades, but I've got two forges to his lone armory. We've both also gotten the necessary upgrades, those being speedlots and dragoon range for me, seige and spider mine for Flavor.

Flavor soon attacks again, now with an almost equal number of goliaths, vultures, and seige tanks. This time, however, I order six dragoons to hold position at the ramp while sending speedlots down to draw fire, and the high ground advantage coupled with dragoon range allow me to successfully fend off yet another attack. With my main running dry from pumping dragoons and zealots from eight gateways, I expand to the top-left island while Flavor constructs a fourth factory. Flavor then expands to the 9 main while launching yet another attack of terran mech, which my troops easily defeat.

I gather my troops at Flavor's mineral only while expanding to the 3 main, and though Flavor's scouting dropship discovers my expansion, it is helpless to do anything. I, however, discover Flavor's expansion at 9, and attack it just in time to kill approximately 15 of his maynarded SCVs. My troops march onward to the command center, guarded by 6 goliaths and a few well-placed tanks. After a little bit of goon dancing, I kill all of Flavor's combat units, and he unwisely decides to attack with his SCVs instead of fleeing.

Update:
Both our mains have run dry, devoid of minerals, and yet we push on. Flavor has but one expansion, yet he still hungers for blood. He sends a dropship to my island, but it was not to be; this one, like the two others, is reduced to rubble by mere stationary defenses. My gateways outnumber his factories two to one, but Flavor knows not the meaning of defeat. The observers cheer, their voices full of adrenaline, with endersshadow claiming that I must be drinking gosu powerade to be controlling Flavor so well. The truth, however, is that I need no gosu flavored energy beverage to claim victory over the insolent terran scum. The shriek of metal upon metal fills the air as balls of energy seperate the humans from their metallic exoskeleton, letting psy blades slide easily into their soldiers' chests, removing the still-beating heart.

Flavor expands to the bottom-right island, hoping that this will offset his production costs. He sends all his troops, about a dozen each of tanks and goliaths, into the middle in the hopes of gaining some semblance of map control. Flavor defeats most of my dragoons near the 3 mineral only, however, when he pushes on to my main more dragoons with the high ground advantage are able to take out the rest of his forces. After this it was only a matter of time, as I had 4 expansions fueling my 16 gateways for constant production of 3/3/1 dragoons, compared to Flavor's two expansions and five factories. Though Flavor manages to fight off my initial assault after a carefully placed EMP, the second wave overwhelms him and he leaves the game.

Lessons Learned:

• Building rediculous amounts of gateways works wonders, as does expo whoring.
  
• Use cannons. Lots of cannons. Especially against a terran player who always sends a few dropships towards your base ~10 minutes into the game.
  
• Expansion denial just owns terran, since they typically expand late and slowly instead of expo whoring.
  
• Making a battlereport takes a lot of work and skill, and I now have more respect for those of you that can churn them out on a regular basis.
  
• Making my BR gifalicious is greatly satisfying. Especially since I can poke fun at the dialup users.