For the last two months (more or less), Zenovia and I have been practicing the heck out of two dances: the Waltz and the Tango. Countless hours have been spent sweating, stretching, doing whatever we can to make everything look as sharp (Tango) or graceful (Waltz) as possible. Long nights, early mornings, and it all comes down to what's most likely going to be about 3 mintues on the dance floor.

Zenovia and I make it to the far corner of the ballroom floor. We decided beforehand that this would be the best place to start our Waltz. Unfortunately, two other couples chose the exact same place. Glancing over at them, I position myself where Zenovia and I'll have the least amount of problems in terms of running people over (there have been tales of full on collisions at these professional competitions, and when you have four bodies giving it all they've got slam into eachother, the results ... well, let's just say the results hurt. Hurt a lot. Like, ow.).

We get into position as the announcer finishes off reading the numbers of the competitiors. Snuggle close, keep the head up but tilted, point the left foot as it'll be the first one stepping, stand tall but look like you're getting close to her, don't mess up don't mess up don't me--

The music starts. No time for love, Dr. Jones. I'm able to hit the second measure off and running as I lower and push Zenovia off into a explosion where we lean against eachother and strike a rather nice pose with our free arms. This gives me the momentum to catch my partner and fling her out into the line of dance, where we begin to work it down the floor. I'm glad that I placed myself away from the other two couples, as I see us pass them in the corner of my eye.

My main focus can't be the other partners, though. That sort of thinking leads to screw-ups, and it shows as I try to resume body contact with Zenovia and don't quite make it when I'm supposed to. Crap. It's a recoverable mistake, but the judges undoubetly see it. Damn judges have eyes like a hawk.

We continue to go through our Waltz, a pre-set routine that was originally made by ourselves as a demonstration of higher-level steps (we like to show our students what they're going to be able to do in a few years). Things begin comfortably with Bronze steps, then work their way up to Silver, then go all out with Gold. All the lines appear to hit, with the only real hitch seeming to be the fact that whenever I break away from my partner, I can't get back into contact with her when I'm supposed to. Crap crap crap. If the judges didn't see it the first time, they probably caught it when I did it the 4th time in a row. Crap.

The music fades just as we prepare to restart the routine from the beginning, and I roll out my partner to bow. No time to relax, however, for its time to get into position for our Tango. I take Zenovia in my arm to the other side of the floor, and perform a nifty little roll out that gets her from one side of me to the other. Gears now must shift from graceful, beautiful, I Love You, to I AM GOING TO COMPLETELY DOMINATE YOU IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE RARRRR. We get into our position, the music starts, and we're off. The first 15 seconds of our routine feature both of us doing the exact same thing. I'm 6'1" and pasty as all heck while she's 5'8ish and dark, so it adds a nifty little duality bit to the whole thing. Zenovia technically gets to start this one, and she also gets us on the second measure in (oh yeah, no time to waste standing around here). We hit everything with sharpness and in tandem, getting into promenade position and prepared to actually dance.

When doing my walks in tandem, I get to eyeball my competition a bit:

THE FOUR FROM SANTA BARBARA: There's two party girls that used to work part time in a Santa Barbara studio when I started working for Redlands. Fun loving gals, but with unknown (new?) men, and so I worry very slightly about them.

RAMON/TINA: Another local couple, but these guys I fear. Ramon doesn't appear to ever do anything too too special, but that just means that he's dancing solidly (if he's not doing anything special, that means he's not doing anything bad either). Tina appears to have a solid background in ballet. In previous exhibitions, she uses lifts and lines that make the crowd's head spin. She's also dating her studio's dance director (I think), so she gets a lot of practice with really good, solid men. Meanwhile, my partner has taken a vacation from competing with her regular smooth partner to make some ex-nerd look good. Uh-oh.

UNKNOWN DARK HORSES: There's also a couple who I've never seen before out on the floor, which either means they're real new, or from out-of-state, or both.

The Tango continues, and I start to really get into it. I'm apparently always cheered on for the animation in my face, and Tango requires a fierce look about oneself. Most other people (especially new ones) put this blank, pseudo-angry look on their face, but not me no sir. I'm out to eat Zenovia alive. There's a lot of cheering going on during this thing, and I assume some of it is directed at my face.

Halfway into our routine and we pass our studio's table. Our Tango was created by our studio's dance director, who declared as she was showing us the routine, "I put this thing together so you guys will WIN." GEE THANKS, NO PRESSURE THERE. We go flying by in shadow; my partner's in front of me, but now we're facing the same direction. This, when not done properly, causes her to step on me (a LOT (OW)). Fortunately for me, I hold Zenovia properly and move out of the way when I'm supposed to, allowing us to have no problems with my toesies.

The tango fades, and we walk off the floor. Oh yeah. We hug and jump into the air. Our director comes in and we all hug. I pick them both up into the air with one in each arm.

We did well.

A few minutes later, the emcee calls us all out onto the floor. Zenovia and I wind up being the only ones prepared ofr the call-out, and for the first few seconds we're the only ones on the ballroom. The awards start getting called ...

FIFTH PLACE

don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us don't be us

SANTA BARBARA GIRL #1 and PARTNER

Phew. Not getting last place was my goal. Now it's all gravy. I beat one Santa Barbarian, probably won't get the other, though.

FOURTH PLACE

SANTA BARBARA GIRL #2 and PARTNER

HOLY CRAP, WE'RE NOT NEXT TO LAST EITHER. Zenovia and I are on Cloud 9. Nothing's going to bring us down from this. We are GODS. Oh YEAH, this things is OURS. ALL YOU OTHERS CAN EAT MY--

THIRD PLACE

DivvyO and ZENOVIA

Whoops.

Second place wound up going to Ramon and Tina (as they should, they appeared to have done great), which leaves the winners to be the out-of-state dark horses. Guess I should have paid more attention to them.

-DivvyO