"All good galaxy-dominating type persons have scary names. Atilla had The Hun, Vishnu had Destroyer of Worlds, and Martha Steward didn't need one.(She is scary enough.)"
- EldritchEvil's A Journey Into the Stars
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| HEY DRUNK BR AGAIN THIS TIME WITH MORE SENSE!!! | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 08/29/99 12:08 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | Starcraft(1), Text Only(1) | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 3, Max: 4, Min: 2
Lifetime Rating for Pitt: 5.1579 |   | well i'm back ladies and gentlemen and wether you like it not here's drunken BR number DOS!!!! YEAH BABY! well like I said ND owned kansas (despite a sub national championship team performance but hey what the fucK!) anyhow much love to my negative followers and I hpe you enjoy this tale of corruption and seduction.
The map: Lost Temple
My opponent: 1badassmarine
Ok well here's some funny stuph for you to read: hehe i = drunk = vulgarity and perversion galore YEAH BABY!
The second star fell slowly across the horizon and the two ancient protoss retirees were soon bathed in darkness. As part of the "Lost Temple Preservation society" Uld'ag'ed and Calostimous swore to protect the ancient lost temple. Even if it met their luxurious pentions! However, as supplies run dry and the bengalass get hornier, our senile old friends grow mighty restless...
Uld'ag'ed: I don't know if we should abandon our posts even for one moment Calostimos. What if those whipper snappers come along and vandalize our beloved temple?!
Calostimous: I don't know but I've shit my drawers about two times now and I'm out of depends! You know the smell of protoss turd drives the bengalass wild!
Uld'ag'ed: True Calostimous, poor alzheimeritus was lost to the insatiable bengalass sex drive last week. Humped him raw that beast did! Indeed, let us make haste and attempt to replenish our stock of depends and mentandent at the terran space station above us in orbit.
Calostimous: Tally ho then my fellow geriatric!
Shortly thereafter in low orbit...
1badasmarine: Oh lord, those protoss fuckers have finally departed. Let us make haste and land on the area known as lost temple so we may conquer it swiftly and with a daft amount of diligence!
Pitt: (yeah boy that's me!) I will guard and protect the protoss excrement as long as I breathe the air of Aiur!
1badassmarine has aligned with the terran mercanaries in order to seize the protoss port'o'let. Pitt, however, has decided to wait until he lands upon the area of the lost temple to select a race to command.
The marine and his terran forces land at the northern starting position while pitt is first offered an alliance with a contingent of zerg forces which he freely accepts.
Knowing that 1badassmarine wants more than anything to seize the turd for himself and not share with pitt, pitt decides to end the war quickly and build for a lurker containment/rush build.
Pitt tastes the turd on his tongue and spawns 4 lings to move and harrass the foolish terran.
Uld'ag'ed returns to the lost temple and discovers that an intense terran vs. zerg battle is ensuing all about his historical landmark!
Uld'ag'ed: EHHH! (Drool piss whine shits his depends) oh my goodness colostimous hand me my psi-bladagra so that I may warp in some blades and stick these people to death!
Colostimous: Uld'ag'ed just wait. These invaders are present only to remove our excrement from this area! This is quite a blessing! Remember, we can quite benefit from this battle!
Uld'ag'ed: Yes this is indeed so Colostimous! Get my walker! Let us gather around the center of the Lost Temple visitors area so that we may observe the fight!
From this point on Pitt battles it on with 1badassmarine
well pitt is intoxicated so his initial two lurkers run up 1badassmarine's choke to face a bunker 5 rines and a turret.
pitt: hehe my lurkers have died yeah baby!
so pitt's lurkers die and he's drunk! But hey who cares.
Pitt sends the other two lurkers that mutated 15 seconds after the firt two to box in 1badassmarine and contain any advance 1badassmarine can muster.
Pitt would enjoy seizing the turd and escaping asap but 1badassmarine's forces can feed pitt's hungry zergling forces so pitt decides to decimate the terran outpost!
in fact the zerg forces have offered to take 1badassmarine's medics as payment for their mercenary work. Pitt quickly accepts and morphs a queens nest then spire then hive. all the while pitt has expanded to his natural and to the nine oclock position. Once his greater spire has morphed, pitt begins to pummel 1badassmarines base with around 9 guards. The only resistance to this is 1 wraith and 2 sv's.
Things to be mentioned... protoss turn = spanish fly for bengalass.
After I expanded to my natural 1badassmarine took the fight to my house and turbo newbied my min line. After about 1 min of seiging tho i took out the tank/bunker/turret with 6 guards. Using drop ships 1badassmarine also attacked my 9 exp. But with 12 drones I fought off the attack while 2 sunkens morphed in and cleaned house. Further 1 spore was placed at each exp to fight off homo erotic wraiths.
When playing against a lurkering terran go star ports. You can really fuck a zerg over with sv's/wraiths once you've gona lurkers and are focusing on fighting a ground war!
Peace i hope you enjoyed this BR and I'm drunk and IRISH FOOTBALL ROX!
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