"permission to warp in sexy-bengalaas for this"
-Raistloaf
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| A Day at the Movies! | | | Author: | | | IP: | dt0f4n84XXXX | | Date: | 01/16/00 04:01 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 9, Min: 9
Lifetime Rating for ::nobody::: 9.0000 |  | Warning: as usual, this report contains big expensive pictures.
For all you complaining about no good reports at BR.com…eat this! =)
Recommended to be eaten with a tall glass of water and some alka-seltzer…and perhaps some nice muzak in the background.
Hello and welcome to “A Day at the Movies.” I’m your host, ::nobody:: and today we will be looking at the hottest new concoction from Starcraft Studios. The long-awaited movie that I speak of is none other than “Yesterday’s Beef.” Some of the biggest stars in the business have come together to film this amazing motion picture. The setting was one of Hollywood’s most infamous sites-”The Hunters.” Although many find this site rather cliché, it can really turn out a winner as we shall soon see. Actors and actresses in “Yesterday’s Beef” include [z]RubberDucky (TRD) as purple zerg in the lower left corner, Alita99 as brown terran on the middle left position, I_hate_medics as blue zerg in the middle lower position, ~Llamaboy~ as orange zerg in the lower right corner, CrimsonGhost138 as white protoss in the upper right corner, and ProudToBaNewbie as teal zerg in the middle right position.
I entered the theater with many doubts. I thought that the movie was over-hyped and would perhaps be a let down. I knew the background of the movie, it was supposedly the epic battle of three teams over the coveted Hunters region. Alita and TRD were one team, Ghost and Proud another team, and Medics and Llama the third team. All my doubt went down the drain from the opening scene, however… The green numbers flashed across the screen for what seemed like hours, and the clock slowly ticked. I was on the edge of my seat wondering if they numbers could be stopped…and that was just Ghost’s download of the i2e2 hunters map. Already entranced by the excellent introduction, I watched as the actors went about their business. All the zerg characters elected to two hatch and then go for a pool. Ghost went about securing the whole top of the map, perhaps expecting to “lay the smack down” on the other characters. With precision that only these fine actors could achieve, the scouting was done and work began on the attacks. The first shining moment of the film was when Medics sent 6 lings to attack Alita. Alita showed everyone the totally wrong was to place depots and lost two to the attack. Only an expert could have placed them so badly.
With the first action sequence out of the way, the movie hit a bit of a lull. It gave some insights into the character’s motives and plans. For example, Ghost was going for corsairs, his teammate, Proud, for hydras. TRD was sticking with lings and Alita, his partner, went for M&M. Medics also took the hydra path and Llama was intent on mutas. It was at this time that the story began to pick up a little more. TRD and Alita teamed up to take out Ghost early, but Ghost was able to hold off the lings and marines with the help of Proud. This “Rumble in the Bronx” scene was absolutely amazing and showed some fine acting skills in the micro and macro departments.
If only every movie could have such a fine scene…
Proud and Ghost were quick to counter, with an assault on Alita. Alita was able to drop a tank in Ghost’s new expansion at the 12:00 position, but in an unforgettable scene, the probes attack back, destroying the evil tank. I cheered and cried at this small, yet meaningful victory. This scene gives hope to all those who struggle against adversity. Inspired by this victory, Proud and Ghost push harder, trampling the helpless Alita. The hydras of Proud ripped through bunkers while the psi blades of Ghost’s zealots finished off the marines. It was rather graphic, but it portrayed the reality of war so beautifully. Atila was gone, and her partner fared no better. TRD was being assaulted by the mutas of Llama and the hydras of Medics. I was rather disappointed at this development, because two of the characters were already gone from the movie…and at such an early stage. They had done a fine acting job and really showed their worth, but I agree with the Dakota Times in saying that their characters never really emerged and the audience couldn’t really identify with them.
“The producers must have something tricky up their sleeve to remove these characters so soon,” I thought… and boy was I right. Proud and Ghost seemed to have the edge over Llama and Medics, but as in all movies, its impossible to tell ‘till the end. Both of the remaining teams had not been seen in any of the same scene of the movie, but in was obvious that confrontation was inevitable. Ghost had one expansion and was teching to dts and templars, but also had some renegade corsairs on the loose.
 These white corsairs were very symbolic of the race issue in our country and I agree with Rodger Eggbert when he points out the social critique that this movie makes. Once again, the overlord brutalization was graphic, but necessary to make a point. This was this first look into the dark side of Ghost’s character, and a drastic one at that. Proud’s dark side also began to emerge as the horrors of the sky, queens, began to take form. It was clear at this point that Medics and Llama were the good guys. Llama sent his pack of mutas to destoy some of Proud’s drones at his main, and the mutas were successful, wiping out a good portion of Proud’s economy. As the tension mounted, I just about fell out of my seat. Medics and Llama stood with two and one expansion respectively. Suddenly it erupted. Total war in the center of the map. Good versus Evil, Light versus Dark. My girlfriend clutched me in the darkness to avoid the reality of it all and I was very happy at this “clutching… =) Back to the movie. Claw and blade ripped flesh and armor. Psi storms split the skys and ensnare covered the fighters. I hadn’t seen such a battle or such acting for a long time. It was a fight that put Braveheart to shame. Control of the middle went back and forth for 15-20 minutes of non-stop battle. I can’t even begin to describe the blood, special effects, and absolute wonder of it all…I will let some previews speak:
It was finally at the end, when the light burst through. The exausted Ghost was finally defeated, for he had let his empire grow to widespread. It was only a matter of time before Proud also fell, leaving Medics and Llama as the victors.
I must admit, I had my doubts about another hunters movie at first, but I have seen few movies ever that top this one. It was an incredible feat of acting and a truly inspirational movie. It was somewhat short, but the severity of the battles made up for it. I have never in my life seen such awesome battles…truly a masterpiece. GO AND SEE “YESTERDAY’S BEEF”!!! It is on this note that I say good bye on behalf of everyone at the studio, thank you for watching! Ciao!
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