Hangin' out in Nohunters I came upon what I thought would be a great idea... instead of the usual BR pulp, why not write something with some kind of meaning to it, that is, something *I* would actually want to read if I saw it.  So I decided to pay homage to YRM's legendary 3-Way FFA's, and started to ask around for race specialists.  Who I finally selected to represent their was Analyzer~19, someone whom I had seen around NH and -X17 several times before, as well as (__o__) (from now on to be referred to as "TheAss"), and "[GoA]~TOASTER."  Being the first such BR of the new millennium, and perhaps the last before the 1.08 patch, we headed of the game room.

So I dedicate this BR to Drefsab, who beat me down last time for putting a dancing cow in my BR.  I thought it was art, he said it was spam.  In any case... This one's for you, Dref!

"Insert formulaic insanely funny quote here"

Enter The Dragon: The Map: The Lost Temple   Terran: [GoA]~TOASTER  (Yellow) 9 o'clock Protoss: (__o__) (TheAss)  (Teal) 12 o'clock Zerg: Analyzer~19  (Blue) 7 o'clock A Dr. Pepper on my desk and my finger held patiently on the Print Screen button, "gl"s were exchanged and the raucous entertainment that is War began!

TheAss decided early that he wanted to keep this game on the ground.  He built Pylon - Gateway- Gateway - Assimilator - Core, forgoing zealots to start goon production early.  Furthermore, TheAss proceeded to warp in not one nor two but 3 Forgeries before finally taking his natural expansion.

Analyzer's build was somewhat more typical zerg: Hatchery - Spawning Pool - Hatchery - Hatchery.  The third Hatchery was at his natural, and he began hard production of mass lings with as soon as his economy could support it.

TOASTER's build was surprisingly aggressive for a FFA:  Depot - Barracks - Barracks - Depot - Barracks.  All three scouted each other early with peons, and were apparently aware of each other's decision to power with base units rather than tech up quickly.

After a steady period of amassing units, TOASTER decided to make the first aggressive move.  Sending 17 marines with stim (but without medic support) TOASTER apparently decided that it would be best to get Protoss out of the game early. Luckily, TheAss had just began warping in canons moments before the marine force arrived.  His few dragoons fended of the marines just long enough for the canons to complete, forcing TOASTER to withdraw with a few troops remaining.

Less than a minute after the marine attack, Analyzer (aware of the situation due to battle-chat), took full advantage of the situation to send everything he had to TheAss's weakened defense.  With only two canons, and 6 freshly made dragoons (now being pumped from four Gateways), it looked as if the calculated attacks would throw TheAss out of the game early.

In an impressive bit of micromanagement (including constantly moving dragoons and goons being deliberately blockaded by a pylon and a canon), TheAss fended of the 70+ lings and frantically warped in more canons.  It was clear he was economically spent as his probes moved then waited before warping in each canon.

In the final attempt to break the Protoss early, Analyzer sent a follow-up force of a dozen hydras just as the last of his lings was killed.  It was to late, however, four more goons from the gateways came alongside 3 new canons to fend of the attack. What happened next was typical of FFA's between experienced players;  they decided to "go conservative," choosing to expand, defend, and power up for a while before any further serious attacks.  TheAss, obviously still fearing an early loss, built several more canons and over a dozen more goons before finally taking his min only expansion, several minutes behind the other two. Effectively, TheAss ensured his survival to the late game.

The expansion persisted until only the 3 o'clock patches were left.  Each player now had a significant and heavily mixed group ground forces. Troop movement began with all three players, and it was evident the fighting would soon commence in earnest.

At the same time that TOASTER's nuke was waiting to fall, TOASTER loaded up 6 dropships full of upgraded Medarines on the lightly guarded area to the left of Analyzer's main. Analyzer had the brunt of his forces on the low grounds by his expansion, and with the aid of comsat the medarine attack was devastating.

At the same time that TOASTER was decimating zerg, however, TheAss had finally decided to exact his revenge, and moved over 70 fully upgraded dragoons to TOASTER's main.  The force was overwhelming.  Having moved the brunt of his army onto the zerg highlands, TOASTER he found himself fighting tooth and nail against TheAss' invasion force.

Actually, TOASTER managed to destroy three quarters of the massive force by careful manipulation of his tanks.  TheAss had the added bonus of continuous reinforcement, however, and the army was just too much.  TOASTER lost every last building including all of his tech tree.  Furthermore, had was forced to abandon management of his zerg attack force, and Analyzer's leftover forces managed to finally eradicate TOASTER's invasion.

What had just happened all within 7 minutes was a complete destruction of power balance within the game.  TOASTER lost 3 of his 4 bases, and Analyzer lost his entire tech tree.  TheAss, ironically, was left in a great position as the two forces that tagteamed him in the early game now had smashed each other.

The transition to the late game began as Analyzer and TheAss fought for control of the mainland.  What followed was a series of several skirmishes center-map between small attack groups of the two forces. Analyzer, however, had lost his tech tree, and although he managed to retake his main and deplete the remaining resources, he could not rebuild in time to handle TheAss' constant goon attacks.

After TheAss managed to raise another goon force, he began his assault on Analyzer's remaining base.  The force was too much, and Analyzer was forced to retreat to his island as well. TheAss had successfully smashed both TOASTER and Analyzer in a remarkable comback from his frantic defense in the early game. With untested control of the mainland, TheAss began to expand all over the map. I however began to notice something that could become a major issue.  I asked TheAss if he had maxed out his supply, and he said had.  I then told him it was a shame that dragoons couldn't fly. He said "Yeah."

TheAss had maxed out on Dragoons, and now had to decide whether to kill some of his dragoons to get air units, or get upgrades first and save the dragoons for now in case of attacks from the islands.  He decided to do the latter.

TOASTER had declared the game to be over moments ago, but fortunately decided to press on with what he had.  He found space, or the lack thereof to be his main problem, so he dropped a few SCVs on nearby highground to construct some needed supply depots.  He had decided to forego any and all minor units and tech straight for battle cruisers and sci vessels in an all-out last shot at staying in the game.  As soon as he ammassed a few cruisers with Yamato, he set them out on a tense campaign to assassinate Dragoons and stall TheAss.

TheAss spent the next several minutes fighting mutalisk attacks while also clearing up supply, so he decided to utilize the goons he had and go mass-drop, instead of air units. TOASTER managed to pump 6 cruisers out of 3 starports, and sent them down to the 9 o'clock to harass TheAss. TheAss lost the nexus, but quickly moved his massive army in and chased the BC's south to the lower southwest waters.  It seemed TheAss had successfully contained the BC fleet;  TOASTER had almost depleted all of his minerals on these and if he lost them it would surely mean the end of his game. But TOASTER managed to carefully sneak out of the containment and back to his base for desparately needed repairs.  Score 1 for TOASTER.

Analyzer was not out either, and was also harassing TheAss' many expansions. A Mutalisk flock destroyed one of TheAss' bases, and TheAss finally decided he had enough shuttle to launch an invasion. The invasion takes heavy losses at first, but is successful with the coming of an observer. Analyzer is finally eliminated. With TheAss now more capable of consolidating bases, he sets up for a massive invasion of TOASTER's island. Knowing that TOASTER would have minimal ground defenses, TheAss hopes that TOASTER would have few enough BC's that his 30+ goons could handle it.

TheAss drops but is stunned at the site; a dozen BC's fully upgraded and with a Sci Vessel support. The battle is fierce, but in the end, the BC's squadron comes out on top, thanks chiefly to Yamato Gun. TOASTER, having diminished all resources and with no more bases, set out his remaining BC's on an all-or-nothing sweep to try and win the game. TheAss' tight production and map control met up with a the BC squad in one major stance at TheAss' original base.  All of his dragoons moved into position to face the fleet, but Yamato attacks managed to assassinate 10 dragoons before they could even return fire. Finally the forces met, and although TOASTER one the battle, his BC's were severely damaged.

It now became a frantic race across the map, with TheAss constructing buildings as fast as the BC's could raise them.  TheAss figured that if he could just keep psi storming the BC's until they all died, he would have won the game, and he was probably right.

But the BC's could not be stopped, TOASTER carefully assassinated most of the high temps as he came to them, and with no force left to use, TheAss conceded this incredible game to TOASTER.

View the mini-Movie

The Stats

Winner = TOASTER (Terran)!

Time = 1:35:09

Truly an amazing back and forth game... right until the end!

So lessons learned you asked?  Screw that.. check out the dancing cow!