"i had oral sex with a baracuda"
..(Fox).. (stolen from lewis' qotm)
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| #1 Suck (Part Deux) Game1 | | | Author: | | | IP: | dt0f4n84XXXX | | Date: | 08/01/00 11:08 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 9
Lifetime Rating for ::nobody::: 9.0000 |   |
Warning: May God have mercy on your soul if you are trying to load this with a slow connection :P There are a lot of big, pretty pics…but you should have already known that :)
After doing the Ultimate Starcraft Championship with Fox^1 and Bane, I realized that I missed doing BRs. I decided that it was time to do another solo BR, but I needed something big…something with panache. Therefore I looked back to the master of big, splashy productions: WilliamWC3. I decided to shamelessly rip off his original idea of “#1 Suck” and put my own little spin on it. The way that MY #1 Suck format will work is this: the first game is a 4ffa where the winner is eliminated. The 3 losers will then play in a 3ffa where, once again, the winner is eliminated. The last game will be a 1v1 between the two losers of the 3ffa. The loser of this game is officially crowned #1 Suck! Therefore, ::nobody:: studios and all its affiliates are proud to present to you: #1 Suck (part deux)!
The first hard part was selecting the players. It involved a strenuous training course in which I went into NH and said, “Who wants to be in a BR?” The four players to pass this tough selection course were [z]rubberducky , Enthused , Slingsnarrows , and Satanic_Toaster . I knew that Ducky was in WC3’s original #1 Suck, but he ended up in second place: the lowly #2 suck. Would Ducky be looking to take the gold this time? Or would the other 3 combatants suck the suck from him? Only time would tell.
The second tough part was the map selection. I decided to go for a non-temple map because whoever was truly #1 Suck could never win on a non-temple map. The map chosen was Sherwood forest. A quaint 5player map that looked to be an exciting battlefield. Toaster starts his army as brown terran at the 3:00 position, Ducky spawns as orange zerg at 9:00, Enth is purple zerg at 6:00, and Slings is yellow toss at 11:00.
Because this BR is just so damn big, I wasn’t able to complete it without corporate sponsorship. Some of BR.com’s biggest product lines were able to supply me with the money I needed to finish this report. Before we get to the action, its time to take the first of these VERY necessary commercial breaks :D
Probe’s flaming service is pure quality folks, you can trust me on that one! Now lets get back to the game :) All the players start with a fairly normal build, Ducky goes for quick gas followed by a hatch then a pool. He is obviously going to be teching hard and hoping to get attacked in this ffa. Enth goes for a pool then a hatch then gas. A more conservative build than Ducky’s that leaves this b/o flexible and able to go a variety of different paths. Slings warps in a pylon, gate, pylon, assimilator, cyber core. He is also teching quickly in the ffa, but he manages to get some zeals out for defense. Toaster, the lone terran, builds a depot, followed by a rax, then a refinery. He then builds another depot and a bunker. Unlike the other players, Toaster seems to be going for a more defensive build, perhaps so he can power hard later.
All the players are able to build with practically no interference. The first move of the game is made by Enth who decides to expand to the 5:00 position. Ducky also chooses to expand and places a hatchery at the mineral patch just below his main. Enth then sends two scouting lings to Ducky’s main. Ducky, however is powering like a crazy man and is going for a lair and spire. With such hard powering, he has forgotten to build ANY defense! Nice one Ducky :P Enth’s two lings, originally meant for scouting start to lay waste to Ducky’s drones, and are able to kill a fair number of them before a morphing sunken finally dispatches them.
While this is going on, hard-luck Ducky discovers that Slings has build a forge and is actually offensive cannoning Ducky’s expansion! If that wasn’t odd enough, Enth sends 2 scouting lings to Ducky’s expansion and the 2 lings actually HELP Ducky by killing Slings’ probe and attacking the cannons. Ducky is able to get some lings to the expansion to save the day *just* before the cannons finish warping, but the two attacks have really set him back. He also sets Enth against him because Enth feels that HE should have the rights to Ducky’s expansion node.
After the initial flurry of action, Toaster and Enth remain relatively untouched while Slings has lost economy to the failed offensive cannons and Ducky is behind due to lost drones. Ducky, however, continues to go for mutas, while Enth seems to be going for a hydra/ling strategy. Toaster has 3 raxes and 2 facts, but continues to play heavily defensive, with a few tanks sieged inside his main. Slings is playing very oddball toss and has build a citadel, a robo facility, and a stargate, effectively giving him all 3 branches of the tech tree.
Enth takes this short lull in battle to expand to a small 5:00 expansion near the middle of the map, giving him 2 expansions. Toaster also expands right above his main to 2:00. Ducky has morphed a fair-sized air force of mutas (about 8) and could have raped Slings hardcore if he had attacked, because Slings’ psychotic teching had left him with no defense but zeals. Slings starts to move his zeals out to attack Ducky’s expansion, but when they are half-way across the map, he wisely decides to pull them back to guard a new expansion he has started at 12:00.
Just when Ducky’s mutas seem like they might go cause a ruckus in Slings’ base, Enth unintentionally saves Slings by attacking Ducky. Enth has a large force of about 2 control groups of hydras and 1 control group of lings that he sends tearing towards Ducky’s base like a pack of starving wildebeests. Ducky moves his control group of mutas in to engage the hydras, but while the hydras and mutas battle, Enth’s lings are ripping apart Ducky’s base. Neither side really attempts to micro and opt for the typical “hey I’m zerg I can just attack-move my swarm anywhere with no ill effects because of gay imbalance while terran has to micro its ass off to get anything decent to work.” Due to this, it’s simply a battle of numbers, and Enth’s better economy allows him to send reinforcements and after the dust has settled, Ducky’s main is nothing but nasty gooey dead creep. Enth isn’t done, however, because while he was attacking Ducky’s main, he ALSO sends about 15 lings to Ducky’s expansion. Since Ducky had sent all his troops to try and save his main, the expansion is undefended except for a few spare lings. Enth’s lings make quick work out of the expansion. This double front attack by Enth removes Ducky from the game and makes him a fellow observer with me :D Looks like Ducky still has a chance to be #1 suck…
Now we are down to three players. Enth who is looking very strong and has expanded to Ducky’s old main and expansion, Slings who is massing corsairs, goons, zeals, ands the odd templar, and Toaster who is quietly building up undisturbed…
Lets take this moment for a quick commercial break!!
Nobody does whoopass like Mark4 does whoopass (pun very intended..nobody = ::nobody:: haha get it? Aww never mind.. :P)
Anyway, Slings notices that Enth is trying to take pretty much the entire bottom half of the map and attempts to put a stop to it. He brings down about 2 control groups of zeals to stop Enth’s new hatch from morphing at Ducky’s old main. The now speed upgraded zeals are able to lay waste to the remaining hydras and they quickly destroy the hatchery. Slings then moves the zeals toward Enth’s main and collides head on with a group of Enth’s hydras. Enth quickly tries to morph 3 of the hydras into lurkers while the rest of the hydras attack the zeals. The zeals kill the hydras, but the armor of the eggs allows the lurkers to morph before the zeals can kill the eggs, the lurkers burrow, but Slings has an observer ready and the lurkers are killed, but not after the zeals take heavy casualties.
Enth, as the zerg, is able to recover quicker and launches a counter attack of hydras on Slings’ main. The hydras outnumber Slings’ goons and Slings’ corsairs aren’t of much use, but Slings is able to get some great storms off and he barely holds off the attack. (Note to Enth: it is typical to micro the hydras AWAY from the storm, not towards it :P)
Both Enth and Slings seem to see that they both need to build up before another attack can be made, but neither of them seems to be worried about Toaster who has expanded to the upper right hand corner of the map, giving him two expansions. Enth expands to the lower left hand corner giving him 4 expansions and Slings tries to expand to the 10:00 position for 2 expansions, but Enth quickly shuts this undefended attempt down with a few scouting lings.
Toaster then decides to make his first move of the game and drops a cloaked ghost on the cliff above Slings’ 12:00 (and only) expansion. Suddenly the ghost kneels and shines a bright red dot in the middle of Slings’ probes. “Nuclear Launch Detected” flashes across the screen and a nuke drops to absolutely fry Slings’ expo. Slings, however seems remarkably calm and doesn’t even say anything about the nuke. Odd…
Right after the nuke falls, Slings brings his army of goons and zeals (about 1 control group of each) to Enth’s main, hoping to catch Enth off guard. Enth, however, meets the attackers with a group of hydras, and once again both armies are devastated while neither side is the clear winner.
Nevertheless, the advantage lies in Enth’s hands as his economy is MUCH better than that of Slings.
These three guys would give me no rest as the reporter, for right after Slings and Enth finished duking it out, “Nuclear Launch Detected” popped up on the screen again and I scrambled to find the dot. Ducky informed me that it was the same place as before…Toaster was aiming to completely wipe Slings’ only expo off the map. As the nuke fell, Slings gave out a yelp. As it turns out, he didn’t even realize that he was nuked the first time!! Poor Slings was so obsessed with getting Enth, that it took TWO nukes to finally get his attention. This disaster pretty much put Slings out of the game, but he continued to long-distance mine with 1 probe…he never declared himself out of the game, but he was mainly just chatting with Ducky and not playing :P
the conversation that followed the one in the pic above was pretty funny too :P
<Slings> (to Ducky) I have you squelched, thx
<Ducky> lol, then what am I saying?
<Slings> no wonder I was out of money.
<Slings> u hacked my squelch, u too l33t.
I think now would be a good time to insert the next commercial, as Toaster and Enth square off to see who won’t be in game 2 of #1 suck.
Toaster decides to expand near the middle at a 3:00ish spot and is just barely able to reinforce his position with 12 m&m and 3 tanks when Enth charges in with hydras and lings. Using D-matrix, Toaster is able to hold off the first wave of zerg attackers, but a second wave destroys the expansion attempt. Luckily for Toaster, he has a tank on a cliff above the failed expansion that takes out a whole ton of hydra before it is finally destroyed. At this point, Enth seems very confident that he will have this game easily won. After all, he has controlled the entire game and has almost all of the bottom half of the map. What he doesn’t know is that Toaster has MASSIVE amounts of fully upgraded m&m&f in his main as well as about 10 Sci vessels and ghosts. Toaster’s recon is not too good, so he has spent the whole game unbothered just building up this gigantic army. I cant even begin to count all his troops, but it is probably about 40-60 ground troops. MASSIVE.
Enth then moves a group of lings to Toaster’s expansion at 2:00, but they are stopped by two bunkers. Enth decides (unaware of Toaster’s army) to send his army to Toaster’s main. Enth’s lings and hydras are slaughtered by the stimmed m&m. Enth then tries to send in four lurkers, but 3 of them are hit with irridate and Enth has a horrible time trying to burrow them and ends up losing them and doing minimal damage to Toaster. Troop-wise, Toaster has the advantage, and Enth is in trouble because he hasn’t been keeping up on his economy and he has mined out a good deal of the map. Toaster, too is a bit low on minerals.
Enth decides to expand to the mineral node above Ducky’s old main at 10:00 and also sends a group of lings to the top right corner of the map where he finds Toaster’s second expansion undefended. The lings make quick work of the expansion and Toaster now has mined out both the locations of his CCs. Enth tries to send in another wave of lurkers, hydras, and lings to Toaster’s main, but once again irridate and m&m turn the tides.
At this point, Enth is only gathering minerals from the dwindling 10:00 location, while Toaster has no income at all, but a good amount in the bank. Things seem to be looking grim for Toaster as Enth begins to morph ultralisks.
Enth tries once again to assault Toaster’s main, this time with 5 ultralisks. Unfortunately for Enth, Toaster wisely irridates the ultras, killing all the lings around them. The m&m also do surprisingly well against the upgraded ultras.
It seems like its only a matter of time till Enth cracks Toaster, but then I noticed a brown blob on the minimap at 6:00. Toaster had dropped to d-ships of m&m into Enth’s main! The 3/3 m&m ripped through half the base before Enth had a chance to react, and they were able to tear down the ultralisk den before 5 ultras showed up and crashed the party. It was at this point that Toaster BLINDED an ultralisk and began to beat on it with a lone cloaked ghost…lmao!
Suddenly the tides have turned as Toaster finally moves his ground troops out of his main. Half of them move to the inner 3:00 spot hoping to secure an expansion, while the other half go hunting for zerg. This squad was able to hold off at least 10 ultras and take out a few random hatcheries before Enth could stop them. Enth responds by sending another 6 ultras to Toaster’s main. Toaster’s m&m are gone, but 10 ghosts with medics and a wraith try to stop the ultras. The ultras break through, but are finally stopped by well placed bunkers and tanks inside Toaster’s main.
Toaster obviously has a lot of money in the bank, because m&m continue to roll out of his raxes, but it is appearant he is getting low, for he is desperately trying to secure his inner 3:00 expo. Toaster then drops Enth’s 10:00 expo with m&m and takes it out.
Enth responds by expanding to the upper right corner and setting up a spire. Toaster and Enth look dead even now as Toaster has more troops, but Enth has more money. Toaster does a few irridate raids on the drones at Enth’s new exp, but he wont move his m&m because he only has about 20 left that are guarding his only source of income: the inner 3:00 expo.
At this point, I give a slight edge to Enth, he has controled the whole game and if he can somehow stop Toaster’s exp, he will have the game. But then all hell breaks loose. Slings, who has been long distance mining (with about 4 probes by now :P) Brings in his remaining sairs to harass Enth’s ols. A few ols pop before Enth can safely retreat them to a spore colony. Then Slings brings down 2 archons, a few zeals and goons, and about 6 temps to attack Enth’s main. Slings is able to take out all of Enth’s main with only a few losses, and Enth is left with only his spire for tech (and mutas are NOT > m&m :P) Suddenly I think that Slings (of all people) can win! If he can get a few storms off at the m&m, he can take out Toaster and win the game!
This HUGE pic I think can try to show you ALL the action I just described :P
The game has finally reached its climax as the entire map is almost mined out. Slings moves his troops to the middle for a final assault on Toaster. But as in all cheesy movies, Enth uses his last dying breath to at least spoil Slings. Enth sends his remaining lings and hydras and 1 ultra to engage Slings troops. This distraction gives Toaster a chance to EMP all the temps (which were unfortunately in a bunch) and irridate most of them. With his storm gone, Slings cannot take out Toaster’s last m&m guarding his expo. And Toaster emerges victorious, with no small favor going to Enth who did a lot of the dirty work :P
phew.
Total Scores:
Enth = 179560
Toaster = 163165
Slings = 81380
Ducky = 14300
That’s right, the person with the most points did NOT win :P
This game was definitely one of the finest I have ever seen. I didn’t know till the very end who was going to win and all the players (except for Ducky :P) had a great chance of winning it. Its time for the last commercial of this BR, then I’ll make some closing thoughts :D
Hehe well I hope you all enjoyed this monster BR, it took me forever to make :P. Thanks to all the players for playing and making a fun game :D. To all the people who sent me anime chick pics to use in my BR: I already had the pic for this BR made, but look for your pics in the game 2 :D Once again, the end chick will be Faye, since most of you liked her from the last BR :P and besides, I think she’s the best! (can anyone recognize the chick in the opening graphic? :D)
I hope you all enjoyed this BR, it was a blast to watch and make!
Plz comment and give me suggestions, praise, criticism, flames, but most of all 10s! :D hehe
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