"FLS, I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. There is no place small, dark, and damp enough to hide your wretched carcass. And when I find you, your grandson will rather have his private parts infested with the fleas of a thousand camels than hear of your horrible fate."
-Mark4
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| The Rock | | | Author: | | | IP: | dialup02XXXX | | Date: | 01/06/01 09:01 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 7, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for Sp|nE: 8.0000 |  | I did not write this. However, it was probably the most enjoyable short story that i've read in about half a year. So just chill and read it.
So, I had just turned 19 three days before. It was a beautiful, sunny Friday morning, a school day. My tax return check had just hit the bank, and my T-bird had a full tank of gas. As usual my parents had already gone to work, and I was preparing to take off for school, they typical weekday routine. I walked out to the car, which was parked on the street, and tossed my books into the back seat. I pulled out a butt and lit up while a waited for my buddy to arrive; he had been bumming rides from me ever since I got the car about three months earlier. The bus sucks when you have your own ride.
I had burnt only a little tobacco by the time J came walking up, books slung over his shoulder in a beaten up old backpack. He dropped the pack and leaned up against the fender beside me, eyeing the pack of Reds in my shirt pocket. I slipped one out and handed it over, "Damn things 'l kill ya, ya know," I quipped; it was an inside joke with us.
He snorted as he lit it up, "But they're sooooo good," he said, drawing deeply and squinting into the clear, cloudless blue sky. Blowing out a thick blue cloud of smoke, he said, "Shit, man, I don't feel like listening to old Ms Z today, lets skip first hour."
I didn't feel like listening to her either. As a matter of fact, I didn't feel like going to school at all.
"Fuck that dude, lets skip the whole damn day."
"Ow, ow, let go of my arm," he cried, grinning, "So what are we going to do?"
"I dunno, but I have a vehicle and a bunch of cash to blow. We're supposed to go to that pep-rally lock-in shit tonight, I can just phone my old man tonight and tell him we just stayed at school for it."
"Works for me, lets pick up some sustenance and hit the road. I got a buddy in Dallas that parties every Friday, and he's always got about a pound of premo bud, and he owes me."
"Damn, A pound?"
I didn't need any more convincing, we smoked the tires pulling out and an hour later were cruising down the highway at 80 munching on breakfast tacos, with a couple of bowls worth of so-so weed stashed under the seat.
We pulled into Dallas about 2 that afternoon, we'd been fucking around at reststops all the way across the state, and were about half-baked already, needless to say we didn't make very good time. Actually, come to thing of it, it WAS a good time, we just didn't get there very fast.
We met up with J's buddy, and true to form, he was expecting about 30 people to show up at his place that night. Turns out he's the son of some wealthy businessman and so has his own house out on the edge of a suburb. Nothing around for about half a mile and a big-ass stereo system. And let me tell you, this guy is a damn addict, he had bud, a whole damn sheet of 'cid, shrooms, X, meth, a whole box full of various uppers and downers, and a bunch of other shit I'd never heard of. Claimed he'd even gotten a little PCP a few months back. Blew my mind.
There wasn't anybody around, and we figured it would be a long night, so we basically just go totally baked and chilled out, resting up for the bash.
People started showing up about 5, by 8 the music was cranked and the living room was so thick with pot smoke you almost couldn't see from one side to the other. Everybody was suckin on this big-ass bong. It was about 4 feet tall, biggest damn bong I've ever seen.
J decided he was going to drop a few hits of acid, his favorite drug. I'd never tried a psychedelic before, so he recommend I try the shrooms. Ok, I figured, I can handle myself. He went off to track down the acid and left me at the table with a bag of crusty looking mushrooms. I tried eating one, but they were nasty, tasted like grass clippings or something. About that time the host comes in and sees me sitting there looking at a bag of shrooms in disgust.
"Dude," he says, "Those are some good shrooms, yer gonna like 'em. Na, man, don't eat them like that, thats nasty, you'll be tasting that all night." He pulled a blender out of a nearby cupboard and grabbed a jug of OJ out of the fridge.
"Here, throw a handful in there and mix that shit up, its still nasty, but it goes down quicker, and you can chase it with some plain OJ." He grabbed a handful of shrooms out of the bag and dropped them into blender to demonstrate. "Mix that up, I'ma want some too."
"Ok, thanks," I started, but he was already on the way out of the room, headed for the bong.
Well, I guess thats a good dose, sounded like he knew what he was doing, I thought. I put in about 18 oz of OJ and blended that shit up into a nasty looking slurry. After it looked sufficiently smooth I went to drink it right from the blender, couldn't be all that bad I figured.
Shit straight from the cows bunghole would probably have been better. This crap was NASTY. I nearly vomited several times, and it was a big-ass glass of juice too.
I was choking down the last of it when J came back.
"Dude, you look green, how much did you put in there?"
"About a handful I guess, your buddy mixed it up," I said, nodding to him, returning from the bong. He saw the empty blender and his eyes got a bit bigger.
"Dude, did you just drink ALL of that?" He asked?
"Yeah, I was about to mix up some for you too, why?"
"Oh shit, man, that was for both of us, I musta put 10 g's in there!".
I looked from him to J, "Is that a lot?"
He shrugged, "Depends, how much acid can you handle?"
"I dunno, I've never tried it."
He looked at J than back at me, "You might want to go throw some of that shit back up, your gonna trip hard, dude."
I considered it, but it was indescribably nasty going down, and I didn't relish the thought of it coming back up, besides, I was here to party. "Na," I said, "I think I can handle it, just don't let me do anything stupid."
"Too late for that man, but whatever, damn good thing I didn't drop yet, cuz you're gonna need babysitting. How much did you drop J?"
"3, I'm cool with watching him, go party, I'll let you know if we got problems."
"Aight, go burn some weed dude, its gonna be a hell of a party," he told me.
I took some hits off the big bong and then went out on the porch to get out of the music, which was way loud. J and I sat and talked and watch people dance. After about 20 minutes I was starting to feel kind of clammy, which I mentioned to J.
"Yer starting to trip," he said, "Will you be OK for a little bit longer, I wanna go take a dump before I come on any more."
"More info than I needed, man; yeah, I'll be fine, grab my flannel on the way back, its getting chilly out here." I said, felling beads of sweat on my forehead, but feeling chills anyway.
He disappeared back across the churning dance floor behind us. I sat for a while and stared out across the back yard. After a bit I noticed the trees in the field behind the yard start to waver and shimmer and the yard itself starting to heave a bit. Fascinated I kept watching, despite the waning light. I heard a female voice saying something, but it seemed kind of far of and unimportant. I starting tingling all over and suddenly lost all the chills, I was actually feeling pretty good.
Oh, shit, I forgot to call my house and leave a message. The thought drifted through my mind and then evaporated.
The chattering of the voice was kind of getting irritating, I focused on it and found a girl sitting beside me. She looked strange, out of proportion. As I looked at her face, it started to undulate a bit, then her eyes started to move around, drifting around the general place where eyes are supposed to be. I was fascinated, I stared at her and noticed that I couldn't figure out what the hell she was talking about. I wonder if that's me or her I thought.
The girl was beginning to bore me, so I stood up, intending to go inspect some other object to see if they would do some tricks too. I went to take a drink of my coke and realized it was now a flannel shirt. When did that happen? J must be back. I peered around looking for him, I could hear laughter. I realized he was in the same chair he was in before.
I focused on him, "When did you get back?" I managed to get out.
"About half an hour man, you've just been spacing out and shit."
I noticed the wall lamp making its way down the wall, carefully oozing down the doorjamb.
I woke up the next morning, staring up a strange ceiling. Completely disoriented, I tried to roll over to get up, but something heavy prevented me from moving. I looked down and identified the mostly nude body of a reasonably attractive and clearly unconscious girl draped over my torso. I pushed her off to the side and sat up.
Where the hell are my pants?
Why do I have Band-Aids on my shins?
Why are my boxers muddy? What the fuck?
I made my way down to the kitchen, stepping over bodies, spent and sleeping from the party. The kitchen was a mess, the mushrooms were mostly gone, there were bud stems all over the counter, dishes were all over, and the fridge was half open. I found one of the less-filthy glasses and poured a glass of kind of cold OJ.
"Hey, he's up already." I heard J say from the back porch.
I went out and found J, the host, and a couple of girls sitting around on the porch.
"Well, what did you think of your first trip?" J's buddy ask.
I shook my head, "What the fuck happened?"
"Do you remember talking to the rock?" J asked, pointing to a gnarled boulder sitting in the garden by the porch.
"Talking to the rock?" I repeated. Things slowly came back to me as we talked.
I remember talking to an old wise man who had meditated for ages and learned the secret of existence. After some coaxing he told me about it, but I had a hard time grasping it. I was getting frustrated and started shouting at him, at which point his guardians drug me out of his audience chamber, back into a great smoky pit filled with lost soles. This must be where they cast the unworthy. I was incensed, if he had just given me more time! I joined in their crazed ritual, cursing the old man, flinging ourselves about in the earsplitting din. There were giant skin drums in the corners which were beaten in unison by muscular black men.
At some point another prisoner approached me and proposed escape. Yes!, there, a weakness in the confining walls! We could escape from the pit! We fled through a small crack in the great rocky walls, with the guards behind howling impotent frustration behind us. We ran, hiding in the cold dark nothingness beyond.
We knew we must find sanctuary from the cold before we froze to death, the nothingness beyond the pit was vast, nothing could survive it long.
After ages in the blackness a light appeared! We rushed for it, only to be stopped just seconds from our objective by a creature of the darkness springing up from the ground below our feet. It was compact and blacker than black, with claws that ripped and tore at my legs. I fell to the ground screaming in terror, I could feel it drawing me into its maw, its whiplike tentacles grasp at my thighs. I managed to tear off my pants and escape from its grip.
I scrambled toward the light, making it at last! I lay on the ground in the light, safe at last. I felt a touch on my shoulder and a heavenly voice. I looked up into a beauty so profound I couldn't comprehend it. It was an angel, come to deliver me from the darkness and heal my wounds.
This place was filled with angels, many tending to other survivors of the darkness. It was quiet and they all swayed together in a timeless and joyful embrace. My angel lead me through the delicious and convoluted vastness of this place to a small cell, where we performed an exquisite bonding ritual, filled with flowing chants and graceful, beautiful movements.
"Yea," said J, "you talked with that rock for about 10 minutes, then you started yelling at it and kicking it and shit. I figured you were wiggin', so we brought you back inside and gave you a couple hits on the bong. You calmed down and started dancing and singing and shit. You looked like a damn fool.
"T thought you were pretty cute and came over and started dancing with you. She musta been horny or something, cuz she was all over you. You really pissed her off when she asked you to come up to the bedroom with her and you went and bailed out the window. She pouted around for about an hour after that.
"We were going to go after you but we could see you prowling around in the yard, so we just sat up here and watched you. You ran around out there for almost two hours, yelling nonsense, something about how dark and cold it was. We kept telling you to come back if you were so damn cold but you just laughed and ran off again.
"After the party started to quiet down a bit you finally tripped over that pile of old fencing in the corner and started screaming bloody murder, we thought you'd fuckin' gone and broken your leg or something. You thrashed around a bit and then came tearing across the lawn in yer underwear and collapsed on the rug in the kitchen.
"T heard you and left the keg to clean up the cuts the barb wire left. You kept trying to getting all cuddly with her, so she took you up to the bedroom and had her way with you. You guys went on forever too, I was getting tired of listening to you.
"Look, your pants are still stuck out in the fencing." One of the girls said, pointing out across the yard. Indeed, there, flapping in the breeze were my pants.
Next time I'll just have 2 grams.
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