"What in God's name possessed you to think I could write as well as that?"
-Dev
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| de1337 Meets World | | | Author: | | | IP: | 1Cust48.XXXX | | Date: | 06/12/02 07:06 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 9, Min: 9
Lifetime Rating for mick: 7.8627 |  | |
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Battle.Net is a harsh place for young gamers. Today we revisit those days through the eyes of a naive new comer in -
de1337 M337s World
First Impressions -
After deciding on a kewl name, de1337 arrives in one of the Brood War USA channels. The only people who seem to be talking are offering clan memberships and hack downloads, I don't think de1337 is a good enough player for either : ( so he clicks the Join game button.
He spots a game that takes his interest, "4vs1comp no rush"(Hunters). de1337 is in no particular hurry, so not rushing the game felt right. He joins the game and meets with 3 other players, Goldennight, {[Crimson]} and Blade{D}ragon. de1337 is obviously intimidated. The trio catch on to his lack of experience and throw some calming words along the lines of,
"Don't worry, we won't lose"
"I'll do all the work" and
"Watch and learn from me"
Wow, what nice people : ] The game starts and everyone focuses on the task of eliminating our worthy opponent.
A standout performance comes from Blade{D}ragon. You see, apparently when you play 4v1, you are supposed to turn that 1 into 0.3 by containing it with cannons : ]
de1337 sets a trend by expanding to the top right main base following shortly with the 6 and top right naturals. The other players expand at their own pace, remember, there's no rush.
Around 15-20 mins in, de1337 maxes out his Zerg forces. The computer seems to have given up, not attacking for around 5 minutes, and the games starts to get boring. de1337 sends in his Guard/Muta/Dev air force. With all of 2 hydralisks resistance, the computer's base is annihilated! I must give props to Blade{D}ragon for those 4 zealots he shuttles in with 3 buidlings left, definitely a game winning maneuover : ]
de1337 has been a silly boy, forgetting to set allied victory and delaying the hard earned victory. Mere seconds pass before {[Crimson]}'s base is under attack. Two groups of Guardians make yellow powder of the 2nd runner up for neatest Protoss base award 2001... errr yellows base.
The destruction spreads quickly, resistance is not too heavy and not too light, I guess you could say it's just right : ]
Goldennight knew his counters perfectly and sends 3 dozen marines into a group of guardians. This works suprisingly well, forcing the Guardians to retreat to a nearby pond. de1337's other Guardians have been busy taking out the old cannon wall-in before moving towards the bottom of Goldennight's base. Goldennight has had enough and quits like a champion quitter quitting a quitting contest. {[Crimson]}'s usefullness in the game was over when the countdown timer hit 0, he only realises this now, and quits.
Blade{D}ragon now has 2 Stargates pumping out Carriers, along with a dozen cannons at the top left choke. de1337's Muta/Dev combo make themselves known, giving the pair of carriers a big F U as they finish their long warp. Hydra/Ling storms in from the now clear choke, forcing Blade{D}ragon's surrender.
After the game, de1337 makes his way to Public Chat KJ, to get away from the nasty spambots. de1337 is welcomed by the resident bot(Cat-Bot) and sits in the empty channel...
A Lesson in Smurfing -
Not 2 minutes later, a player by the name of BladeIIV joins the channel. Blade seems like a nice bloke, and asks if de1337 would like to play together vs a comp. Who could refuse a request for private a 2v1 from a pubbie, so de1337 accepts and joins Blade's game.
The game is on 8 spaces, a 96x96 space map and it is Zerg & Zerg v Zerg. I originally commented using just the races, but I ended up confusing myself, so we'll do it by name-
de1337 and BladeIIV start off at 6 and 3 locations respectively, the Computer is at 1:34pm(top right).
BladeIIV goes 7 pool with de1337 going 8 pool and sending a drone to start a creep colony on the(now discovered) enemy creep.
Seconds elapse between the hatching of both players' lings, de1337's head north towards the comp, while BladeIIV's make a left at Albacoique, and into de1337's base. de1337 catches on quickly, and unnallies BladeIIV, using his drones and lings to beat the ling rush. A sunken is morphed as wave after small wave of lings come into the 6 base. de1337 also has a sunken in the Computer's base, slowly ripping the place apart.
While BladeIIV evaluates the situation, a dozen of de1337's speedlings enter the 3 base - all but one Hatchery is destroyed.
de1337 focused his attention on the Computer, who has escaped to the 12 base. Two sunkens are in place, so a build up of lings is needed to dislodge the renegade brood.
BladeIIV talks openly on his plans aswell as demanding a rematch. de1337 accepts.
The pair waste little time, oh except the time spent on this next game : ]
 No hurry : ]
They play once again on 8 spaces, de1337(Z) occupying the same position, while BladeIIV(Z) takes residence in the computer graveyard from the previous game.(1:34pm : P)
BladeIIV sets the rules, de1337 agrees and in a show of sportsmanship, gives BladeIIV shared vision : ]
de1337 works on Muta/Crax while, BladeIIV mixes it up, eventually focussing on Hydralisks.
BladeIIV offers some creative criticism to pass some time during the lengthy pause in action.
The 10 minutes eventually turn into 20, BladeIIV finally asking if de1337 is ready and with a nod, it begins!
BladeIIV gets things started by sprinkling scourge into de1337's mutalisk packs. The fighting initially takes place just inside BladeIIV's choke, with an abstract W formed from sunken colonies proving quite unwelcome for de1337's cracklings. BladeIIV's 2 dozen+ hydralisks hammer some authority into the Mutalisks, causing them to temporarily retreat to the middle and meet up with reinforcements. BladeIIV's pursuing Hydralisks meet some very pissed Cracklings, and nearby mutalisks make things worse. The Hydras are wiped out in seconds and de1337 pushes back into the 1:34 base.
BladeIIV admits defeat, but not before calling de1337 a newbie : ]
Back in the channel, BladeIIV tries to smooth things over, the only way he knows how...
de1337 politely declines the offer, but does play another couple of public comp stomps...
The Comp Stomper Psyche -
This one is a 7v1 on some new Blizzard map called Big Game Hunters(heard of it?), de1337 still being new to the whole thing, enquires as to why comp stomps are so popular...
Not satisfied with his learnings, de1337 lusts for a more indepth answer.
He joins another game - 5v1 on Orbital Death.
de1337 masses cracklings, and after one player drops, he backstabs and kills his remaining "allies", leaving only BiRdHoUsEsK8r24.
de1337 wants to exchange information for a +1 on BiRdHoUsEsK8r24's win record -
Hmmm, it seems people play comp stomps to -
a) learn from better players, who don't play comp stomp in the first place,
b) better their records so people will think they are good players, and not want to play them because they think they will lose, and soon they won't have to play anyone because everyone will be too intimidated by their record to even think of asking for a game!,
c) brush up on begging : ], and finally
d) have fun, coz thay is so damn fun OMG 7v1 is teh seks!
Yes, another mystery solved : ]
A Helping Hand -
So far de1337 has has taken and taken, it's time to give something back to the people who have been so good to him.
He spots a fellow gamer in dire need of a CD-Key, de1337 to the rescue!
What a nice fellow : ]
Since de1337 has had a few hours experience, he feels it's time to try his first,
Public 1v1 -
de1337 scans a few games before coming across a suitable one,
WaRrIoR_ gives a warm hello, paces the game as no hurry, and presses the creator exclusive button "OK", officially starting de1337s first Temple game.
As the game starts, the midnight fox** de1337(T) clones his SCVs, assigning them each a mineral patch to work on while WaRrIoR_(P), the 9o'clock tiger** gives an emotionless single order to his Probes, leaving the untrained peons to figure out mining efficiency for themselves.
de1337 choses to early expand, but none of that sissy crap for WaRrIoR_, he demonstrates how a 2 gate Zealot build SHOULD be done,
That's right, 8 and ONLY 8 probes, after all, there's only 8 mineral patches.
Moments later as de1337 is maynarding half a dozen SCVs to his natural, 2 of WaRrIoR_'s zealots pop out of the fog and head for de1337's main Command Centre. There is a small panic for de1337's forces are only armed with fusion welders. The Zealots focus attention on the Command Centre and de1337's SCVs make a snap decision to take up arms against the giant intruders. The small band of SCVs launch a ferocious attack, maiming and eventually killing the pair. However celebrations are put on hold, for not 2 screens over the exact same situation presents itself.
Before de1337's first medics can arrive, another pair of Zealots march in and harrass the right barracks. SCVs are again utilised, and are relieved as 2 medics finish their training and star as field nurses before they can even graduate.
A few more Zealots come but are doomed to the same fate.
WaRrIoR_ has been hindered by the "no gas for 7 minutes" bug, but like the gentleman he is, doesn't complain at all : ]
Once his Assimilator reaches 900 hit points, WaRrIoR_ pulls 6 of his 8(total) probes and puts them on Vespene duty. He then removes 1, using it to warp in a Citadel of Adun, the holiest of all Protoss structures, what an honour.
de1337 has gathered a small attacking force in the 9 main. The group consists of 12 SCVs and 12 medics. The impending threat to the sacred Protoss ground must be dealt with, so WaRrIoR_ scrounges up 4 Zealots, marching them down the ramp to his natural. What ensues is not pretty for the Protoss...
The Terrans lost an SCV and a Medic, perhaps paying too much attention to each other : ]
Reinforcements arrive in the form of more SCVs. de1337's S&M force enter the Protoss base, facing very little resistance. The 8 Probes prove quite a handful, but unless WaRrIoR_ can pull off some pylon micro, it's game over.
WaRrIoR_ lets out a polite "nice", then fades back into the vast abyss from wence he came... or some maybe BWUSA channel.
de1337 is once again summoned to his Public Chat channel to rest. His last game lagged some so he makes the decision to reconnect to Battle.Net and hopefully improve his latency.
Little did he know that his Terran Commanding skills would soon be tested once again...
Nuclear Launch Detected -
de1337 once again finds himself surfing the Join Game screen. A short wait brings a game called "1v1 noobs only nr20 LT".
Upon joining, de1337 says hello to the creator, AzN(A)cK(cOs). With pleasentries out of the way, the timer hits zero and the game begins.
de1337 starts in similar fashion to the previous game, early expanding to the 6 natural as soon as his economy allows. AzN(A)cK(cOs) follows suit, throwing up a Nexus in the 12 natural.
As time passes, the absence of action allows de1337 to expand to the 9 main. Not one to be outresoured, AzN(A)cK(cOs) starts his 3rd Nexus on a slant at the 12 mineral only. 3 Stargates located at his natural warp a couple of Scouts, the first of a large number of Protoss aircraft. de1337, acting like he really enjoys it, expands to the 9 natural.
10 minutes pass, AzN(A)cK(cOs)'s first 3 Carriers are near the end of thier long warp. I swear de1337 has some sort of Command Centre fetish, now occupying the 3 main and natural, with both 6 and 9 mineral only's nearly finishing construction. Now a look at de1337's tech, 2 Starports and a Science Facility at 9, with not 1 but 2 Engineering Bays building at 6 - hmmm.
Back over to the 9 main, a number of SCVs are pulled at random from their mining duties to start construction, a Covert Ops add-on is paired with the Science Facility, and the staff begin research on Personnel Cloaking. Lights start to flicker at the Barracks formation,
AzN(A)cK(cOs) starts to feel claustrophobic, he grabs de1337's attention, asking nicely if de1337 could remove himself from the 3 main. When asked why, AzN(A)cK(cOs) explains he needs another gas node. de1337 gives consent, and the first hostile act of the game is played out.
AzN(A)cK(cOs) brings in a probe and begins the expansion plans under the watchful eyes of half a dozen Carriers.
To make up for the loss, de1337 floats a separate Command Centre to both of the island expansions.
Both players build up their forces, AzN(A)cK(cOs) adding more Carriers, Cannons and even some Dragoons to his collection. de1337 does focus on Capital ships, or rather, how to stop them and researches Lockdown. Several Science Vessels join the gathering of Ghosts in the 9 main.
The 2 island Command Centres are rationed a dropship full of SCVs each, followed by Nuclear Silos. The 2 additional Silos bring the total to 5, making de1337 a functioning Nuclear Power.
de1337 found himself nearing the 200 supply limit and with close to 20,000 minerals spare, he felt he could lighten the wieght of a few SCVs.
Roughly 20 SCVs lose their lives to make room for - the opposite end of the tech tree - nuclear missiles.
Now either AzN(A)cK(cOs) took this the wrong way or 20 minutes were up, because over at the 3 natural, 8 Carriers and 7 Scouts are letting out some built up frustration on the naked Terran Expansion.
de1337's reaction is to move his dozens of Ghosts into the centre. The Protoss Air Force moves south to one of de1337's island expansions. de1337 sends 2 groups of Ghosts to the 6 natural to prepare for the inevitable defense while simultaneously unleashing hell on a few of AzN(A)cK(cOs)'s centre buildings.
The first(rushed) nuke impacts on a nice patch of dirt, however the second lands a little to the left, taking out 6 cannons and damaging other buildings.
de1337's attention is drawn to the 6 natural as AzN(A)cK(cOs)'s Fleet attacks without warning. de1337 decides to try his hand at some half-assed lockdown cloning. He cloaks his Ghosts before sending them in -
Thanks to Interceptor interference, only half of the lockdown missiles land on thier intended targets. de1337 gives it a second, more paced try, this time locking down all Carriers, allowing the Ghosts to pick them off 1 by 1.
With just 3 Carriers remaining, a nuke finishes preparation. One Ghost is selected to fire it off killing the Carriers, and starting a chain reaction of Nuclear Annihilation so intense, so violent, that it must be shown in link form - actually it's just too wide to fit : ]
AzN(A)cK(cOs) sums up his feelings with one word,
before leaving the game.
Another Terran victory, which just goes to show how imbalanced TvP is : ]
A Sad Ending -
de1337 feels his first Battle.Net experience has been educational and fun, before he logs off though, de1337 catches the end of a conversation between two fellow gamers,
de1337's small grin turns into a frown. He wipes a tear as he clicks on the Quit button.
The End
Thanks to  for supplying the alt text.
**The 9o'clock tiger and midnight fox are fictional characters, made up to get kids to go to bed early, and scare the Shit out of them : [
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