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This BR is my 4th ( YAY! ) and I hope you all like it. and if you have read my previous Battle report’s or you have EE don’t read the stuff in the next paragraph.
Welcome to another EE report. Empire Earth is a Strategy game like no other. An epic time scale of 500,000 years of past and present and future times that you can play in. Empire Earth also has a new (maybe not new) strategy system, which is kind of like a rock paper scissors thingy. Example there are a lot of types of ways to kill: shock spear arrow gun rocket club. But some of them counter other things and in that way you can have 3 people kill 20 people. And EE sold over 1 million copies, and just a couple of days ago the expansion came out (Sept. 17).
Well its taken a lot of HTML guide reading and dictionary learning days to finally get up to this point in TIME. I wonder were he is? (Remembers the day he told hit men to whack TIME). Anyway since school started a couple of weeks ago, it looks like Good Brs will be a rare thing here (maybe not). I have come here to tell you a story of an EE game. In between some places I will tell you the units that will be used, how the people use them, and different types of strategies made for them. I will also add some jokes into this BR for example:
“Your mom is like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn”
Anyway I would have made this report earlier but I didn’t have the balls to post after ~CattleBruiser~ so without further … stuff… I give you my report on a game in EE.
Crap Some_God Isn’t Dead, I have No Choice but to read His SUPER DUPER BATTLE REPORT.
While surfing around the West Coast Server I seen my good friend Aries online. I had nothing better to do with my life so I challenged him to a 1vs1.
Some_God : A very good player with a very strange attitude ( takes everything as a joke )
Aries : A good example of a player who made himself one of the expert class. He only beat Some_God once. He was been in my other report.
The setting were:
- Industrial Age to Industrial Age
- Tournament Low resources
- Highlands
Aries said GL HF and then the loading screen appeared.
Let The Games Begin
I get the south center position and Aries gets the northeast position.
I quickly started to gather resources. Just in case Aries wanted to rush me I built a group of people to defend. BTW I had another game with him before this one and he used cavalry. I guessed that he was building cavalry and started building anti-horse soldiers, but just in case I built anti-infantry too.
I had an army after a few minutes of play and set aside a group of them for an attack, but I was not going to attack yet. If I set aside that group I would have almost no defending force, so I built up. I built a dog to scout what kind of force he had. I found out that my guess was correct at the expense of a dog. I was busy with my economy when I heard a bell and saw a red X on my minimap. Aries had attacked me with a force of horses. When I got to the red X mark I saw 7 horses dead on the ground and 3 alive.
I was lucky to be alive. Just to see if Aries was more stupid than me I sent 3 guys to check if he had an defending force. Poor guys. I found out Aries wasn’t stupid (much :D ). Aries only had horse units, which were:
After the attacks made by both of us I started pushing my economy forward. I started mining gold for the horses I was going to make later and started building a farm so I would have food when my forage patch runs out. Then my mom called me to help her out with something. Being the mammas boy that I am I went to help her out, hoping that Aries doesn’t attack me. At some times I had some chances to queue up some army units. I needed to defeat Aries because it is part of my master plan… right before “loose virginity”
"Your mom is so ugly that if ugly was a crime she would get the electric chair"
My army was huge! I built more barracks and stables to pump out army units to crush the empire known as…. I don’t know what, Oh Empire Aries :D. Then out of nowhere… well actually out of the back of my base were blue grenadiers shooting my citizens. This was bad, he is going for my economy which would be a pain in the ass to put back to normal so in exchange I put my army in his base >:D
I quickly crushed his small defending force and started going for his economy. I killed everyone that I seen. Meanwhile in my base I got the opportunity to save 4 citizens, which meant I was down but not out of the fight, and if those 4 citizens got killed I would punch the wall and scream the 4 letter word.
"Your mom is so ugly her mother had to get drunk to breast feed her"
After we had torn down each others bases I looked for something to kill and thanks to my balloon I found Aries throwing his army at me. I quickly got my soldiers to the choke points he was likely to go through.
I killed his army while it was trying to reach its location. Thinking I had killed most of the stuff Aries had I went after the small numbers of soldiers still left in my base. After easily killing them everything went downhill for me. Aries found my 4 citizens and killed them (PUNCHES WALL, BREAKES KNUCLE, and SCREAMS NOOOO! And ^%#*). Now I was looking for the place where reinforcements for Aries were coming from. I killed some guys on a gold mine and then the inevitable happened.
Aries said to me that he had to go so he just left. Strange. I looked at the end map and here is how it looked: (sorry but I switched colors by accident)
And here is what we said during the game:
GG I guess I won by default :D
"Your mom is so stupid when instead of taking the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice"
Bah… I should have killed him when I had the chance. Anyway I tried the best I could to make this report the best of the best. I will probably make a report every weekend or so I think. Tell me if your guys like it, Oh and here is the nuke that some people have asked for, its animated :D
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